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They don't give a fuck about us

Konsciencia

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Hi everyone, there's something I have to share with you all. Many of you are having excellent and wonderful Experiences in your Spiritual Growth and that's beautiful. However, as for me, I am having such a struggle with my own Spiritual growth. No matter how much of an effort I put to this dedication. I seem to go nowhere, I am stuck with nothing. I can't Astral Proeject at will, the entities I been Channeling are fake, and don't give a fuck about me. I have a battle within myself. I am stuck within my mind. I don't even know what freedom is anymore. Lucifer and I, are bumping heads right now. We are not even talking to each other. So, why the hell will I pursued this?. It's leading me to nowhere. I am not even in control of my own destiny. So, I'll just give this a rest. Just stop what I'm doing.
 

stalkinghyena

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It's a phase, a part of your path. It will pass and you will find inspiration again.
The truly spiritual person will inevitably encounter the "dark night of the soul" - often more than once. Some of the brightest seers have fallen into the depths of blindness only to rise up with clearer vision. Think of it as the ebb and flow of the tides, and that it is even necessary, but that it is only for a time.
 

Konsciencia

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It's a phase, a part of your path. It will pass and you will find inspiration again.
The truly spiritual person will inevitably encounter the "dark night of the soul" - often more than once. Some of the brightest seers have fallen into the depths of blindness only to rise up with clearer vision. Think of it as the ebb and flow of the tides, and that it is even necessary, but that it is only for a time.
Thank you Stalikinghyena! I needed to hear that.
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A pause and gathering of your thoughts is never a bad idea when you feel stuck. You are always welcome here 🤘
Thank you Yazata, I will keep on showing up here either way.
 

stratamaster78

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OP

My only advice would maybe be to not get so attached to working with or having a ‘relationship’ to one particular Spirit/Deity/Intelligence etc or whatever you view your ‘Lucifer’ to be.

We all have our ups and downs and go through difficult periods of change.

But just from your post history it seems like an almost unhealthy relationship/attachment

It’s probably not a good thing if it will create such ecstatic highs but devastating lows.

Maybe like in a dating relationship view so to speak you should take time to ‘work on yourself’.

I don’t know what paradigm you follow or daily rituals you use but I’m sure some type of purification and cleansing and centering and grounding and meditation would be of help.

Maybe don’t engage with ‘Lucifer’ again until you feel like you are standing on a sturdier foundation.
 

Konsciencia

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OP

My only advice would maybe be to not get so attached to working with or having a ‘relationship’ to one particular Spirit/Deity/Intelligence etc or whatever you view your ‘Lucifer’ to be.

We all have our ups and downs and go through difficult periods of change.

But just from your post history it seems like an almost unhealthy relationship/attachment

It’s probably not a good thing if it will create such ecstatic highs but devastating lows.

Maybe like in a dating relationship view so to speak you should take time to ‘work on yourself’.

I don’t know what paradigm you follow or daily rituals you use but I’m sure some type of purification and cleansing and centering and grounding and meditation would be of help.

Maybe don’t engage with ‘Lucifer’ again until you feel like you are standing on a sturdier foundation.
Thank you
 

Xenophon

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There is at least one upside: you're not settling for B.S. and trying to pass yourself off to yourself as "spiritual." In magick as in the other sciences, there is no such thing as an utterly failed experiment. Hang in there.
 
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Hi everyone, there's something I have to share with you all. Many of you are having excellent and wonderful Experiences in your Spiritual Growth and that's beautiful. However, as for me, I am having such a struggle with my own Spiritual growth. No matter how much of an effort I put to this dedication. I seem to go nowhere, I am stuck with nothing. I can't Astral Proeject at will, the entities I been Channeling are fake, and don't give a fuck about me. I have a battle within myself. I am stuck within my mind. I don't even know what freedom is anymore. Lucifer and I, are bumping heads right now. We are not even talking to each other. So, why the hell will I pursued this?. It's leading me to nowhere. I am not even in control of my own destiny. So, I'll just give this a rest. Just stop what I'm doing.
I can't say that my advice will help you, but I feel like when I'm in those moments I try to see it as a sign that I need to stop and rest. Sometimes when things get difficult to push through and it seems like I can't make progress I go the route of acceptance and just stop trying and reflect. I just accept that I'm not making progress and just allow myself to feel like its ok to not make progress. Give yourself the love and care you need and deserve. Allow yourself to embrace the imperfection or the lack of progress. Taoism is helpful in giving some insight on accepting things as they are and giving yourself permission to not be perfect or absolutely productive. We are humans. We go through the seasons just like everything else in nature. We grow, become active and productive, slow down and hibernate, and awaken again to restart. Give yourself some time to recover. Burn out is a very real and very frustrating thing to fight with. I sincerely hope this helps.
 

Konsciencia

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I can't say that my advice will help you, but I feel like when I'm in those moments I try to see it as a sign that I need to stop and rest. Sometimes when things get difficult to push through and it seems like I can't make progress I go the route of acceptance and just stop trying and reflect. I just accept that I'm not making progress and just allow myself to feel like its ok to not make progress. Give yourself the love and care you need and deserve. Allow yourself to embrace the imperfection or the lack of progress. Taoism is helpful in giving some insight on accepting things as they are and giving yourself permission to not be perfect or absolutely productive. We are humans. We go through the seasons just like everything else in nature. We grow, become active and productive, slow down and hibernate, and awaken again to restart. Give yourself some time to recover. Burn out is a very real and very frustrating thing to fight with. I sincerely hope this helps.
Thank you friend, what you've stated, helped a lot. It just made my day.
 

Xenophon

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Tyler Durden's, "I can hack being one of God's unwanted children," I always found oddly uplifting.
 

Jackson

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As silly as it might sound, I find a search for truth necessary to understand my relations with the universe. But then, while I value freedom, I don't think it has been as major a philosophical concept for me. I have not generally believed in free will, nor am I generally comparing the idea of freedom against anything. As a cliche, I could suggest it more important to understand our choices.
 

HoldAll

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It's not a race and not a contest. Give yourself time and ignore your ambitious goals for a while. After all, you're doing this for yourself, nobody can force you to struggle and bang your head against the wall.
 

8Lou1

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lucifer is an awakener and he really awoke you and found you a group of people who like and care for you: wf. it takes time to adjust to a new group consciousness. especially with people who have spirits hanging around. its like you moved to a new town and have to find the groceriestore and the new neighbors look like strangers. he also knows were you can grow with like minded ones and those are humans, cause when things go down we should protect ourselves first. and in this case thats human and for lucifer spirit. he doesnt want you death hence the blocking. if you are a carpenter you are not welcome to do plumbing sort of thing. so enjoy yourself, find your joy, be your joy. and let your bones dry. ..
 

Konsciencia

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lucifer is an awakener and he really awoke you and found you a group of people who like and care for you: wf. it takes time to adjust to a new group consciousness. especially with people who have spirits hanging around. its like you moved to a new town and have to find the groceriestore and the new neighbors look like strangers. he also knows were you can grow with like minded ones and those are humans, cause when things go down we should protect ourselves first. and in this case thats human and for lucifer spirit. he doesnt want you death hence the blocking. if you are a carpenter you are not welcome to do plumbing sort of thing. so enjoy yourself, find your joy, be your joy. and let your bones dry. ..
I thank you Lou... you are right. Right now, what I'm doing is just letting things be, and focus on myself...
 

Amadan

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Maybe you're in a chrysalis stage atm
 

Xenophon

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It's not a race and not a contest. Give yourself time and ignore your ambitious goals for a while. After all, you're doing this for yourself, nobody can force you to struggle and bang your head against the wall.
Time remains a problem, though. Elphias Levi insisted that the mage had to act as if he would live forever when doing his work (i.e., no haste.) On the other hand Michael Kelly reminds us "it's always later than you think." Like basketball, life has a shot clock. Managing it is quite the art.
 

Roma

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When eventually it was obvious to me that I had been reborn many times, it was a great relief. I did not have to achieve all my purpose/mission in one lifetime

These days my perspective is a bit different but the result is the same: all things in their time
 

Xenophon

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When eventually it was obvious to me that I had been reborn many times, it was a great relief. I did not have to achieve all my purpose/mission in one lifetime

These days my perspective is a bit different but the result is the same: all things in their time
There are schools of thought that teach that, while one may have more than one lifespan, the world itself has a term set to it. If one does not get his act together with due dispatch, he might be out of luck when GAME OVER blinks on the screen. Like Crowley said, how do I know I have not been counting on my next incarnation for countless incarnations already?
 

Jackson

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Like Crowley said, how do I know I have not been counting on my next incarnation for countless already?
Proposition of will on your part. His view better fits the typical esotericist standard. The planets have not aligned on this so to speak.
 
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