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Over the years I have tried several natural psychedelics and shamanistic herbs. Not all have worked – some haven't had any effect at all. A couple of weeks ago I made tea from one of the plants that can be used to make Ayahuasca. On its own sadly it didn't do anything for me.
This Thursday I made Ayahuasca from b.caapi and mimosa hostilis, using a recipe I found online, with 50 grams of caapi and 12 grams of mimosa. Preparing the two components of the drink took 8 hours with three cycles of simmering the herbs and letting most of the water evaporate and straining it several times through paper kitchen towels before storing it in the fridge.
Had some yoghurt Friday morning without thinking. It was cloudy and it rained. Went to the store to get a lot of fresh fruit, got back home and then strained the yellow and purple liquids one last time before mixing them. Even after this there still was a lot of sludge from the mimosa (I had used a blender to turn it into a powder). I had enough for two glasses and since the recipe warned that there was a chance you couldn't hold down the drink I drank only one glass at 8.45 a.m. It was slightly bitter but not nearly as bad as I had imagined.
Did the dishes and laundry, sat down on the couch and started to feel the weird “off” feeling. I lay down on the floor and closed my eyes. There was a grid, made of curved lines that moved. It wasn't like the kaleidoscope images you see on mushrooms. Not entirely symmetrical but pretty much. It turned into gates, holes, flowers. Of course my mind turned to sex. My cat sniffed my hand and I opened my eyes. Got up to drink some water and as I walked by my desk I noticed a moving mass – like the static on old tv's but transparent, like millions of colorless worms crawling through and on top of each other. I found it remarkable that this “cloud” was in that location, where I sit so often, and I assumed it was either a product of all the time and energy I had spent there or some “things” waiting for me to sit down there again and spend energy. I sat down indian-style beside it and tried to communicate with it but was unsuccessful. Stayed there about half an hour, looking at it until it started to fade. Then drank my water and saw the jar with the mimosa sludge in the sink and decided to try and paint something with it, to make a souvenir or something.
I haven't r-e-a-l-l-y looked up stories about Ayahuasca, but through the years I have heard people referring to it as “the Queen” or “the Goddess”, and I tried my best to make a sort of aquarel with the actual plant material.
It was about 11:30 and the effect seemed to be fading already. Took a shower, performed LBRP + Bornless ritual and the 24 anagrams. A couple of years ago I evoked Abaddon several times and asked him lots of questions. Among several incantations he also gave me my magickal name. When I found out it is the name of an Angel I was very excited. Because there is also an evil man with that name I changed it later on and never used it again. In this ritual now I “understood” that I “have” to use the name, to balance the evil that has become associated with it.
Set up the triangle and called Lucifer with the G.V. conjuration and his enn. Had a long talk about my character and why I can't stand people around me. In the end he gave me a hug and I laughed because of how silly and girly I felt.
Ate a lot of fresh pineapple and coconut and decided to drink the second glass at 13:40. Did some exercises and listened to youtube. Tried a couple of “happiness frequency” videos but I don't like music with wind chimes and howling wolves and eagles etc. Reloaded the homepage and saw a video of the “bad man” associated with the name. He was sweating and according to the videos title he was crumbling. The video was from the day before. I started watching it and felt the second glass starting to kick in. The face in the video wasn't human anymore. It was hilarious. I went to the toilet and passed the painting I had done. Picked it up and sat down. Immediately a similar cloud of “transparent static” formed around and behind the painting. As I looked at it the face started to change. Really change. For about 10 to 15 minutes I had the most intense visuals I have ever had. The crude painting turned into several really life like faces, ever changing one into the other. I asked its name and it told me, then the visuals started to dim down and fade again. That really was the peak moment. I got up, finally went to the toilet and ate some more fruit. The rest of the day I had a slight “off” feeling but no more visuals.
It was a nice experience. Wish I could tell you more or more exciting things but that would be lies. There's no doubt that on a sunny day, in the woods and maybe with someone else around it would be entirely different. But it is what it is. Still have 38 grams of mimosa bark left over + some other “stuff” so I might try again at one time or another.
This Thursday I made Ayahuasca from b.caapi and mimosa hostilis, using a recipe I found online, with 50 grams of caapi and 12 grams of mimosa. Preparing the two components of the drink took 8 hours with three cycles of simmering the herbs and letting most of the water evaporate and straining it several times through paper kitchen towels before storing it in the fridge.
Had some yoghurt Friday morning without thinking. It was cloudy and it rained. Went to the store to get a lot of fresh fruit, got back home and then strained the yellow and purple liquids one last time before mixing them. Even after this there still was a lot of sludge from the mimosa (I had used a blender to turn it into a powder). I had enough for two glasses and since the recipe warned that there was a chance you couldn't hold down the drink I drank only one glass at 8.45 a.m. It was slightly bitter but not nearly as bad as I had imagined.
Did the dishes and laundry, sat down on the couch and started to feel the weird “off” feeling. I lay down on the floor and closed my eyes. There was a grid, made of curved lines that moved. It wasn't like the kaleidoscope images you see on mushrooms. Not entirely symmetrical but pretty much. It turned into gates, holes, flowers. Of course my mind turned to sex. My cat sniffed my hand and I opened my eyes. Got up to drink some water and as I walked by my desk I noticed a moving mass – like the static on old tv's but transparent, like millions of colorless worms crawling through and on top of each other. I found it remarkable that this “cloud” was in that location, where I sit so often, and I assumed it was either a product of all the time and energy I had spent there or some “things” waiting for me to sit down there again and spend energy. I sat down indian-style beside it and tried to communicate with it but was unsuccessful. Stayed there about half an hour, looking at it until it started to fade. Then drank my water and saw the jar with the mimosa sludge in the sink and decided to try and paint something with it, to make a souvenir or something.
I haven't r-e-a-l-l-y looked up stories about Ayahuasca, but through the years I have heard people referring to it as “the Queen” or “the Goddess”, and I tried my best to make a sort of aquarel with the actual plant material.
It was about 11:30 and the effect seemed to be fading already. Took a shower, performed LBRP + Bornless ritual and the 24 anagrams. A couple of years ago I evoked Abaddon several times and asked him lots of questions. Among several incantations he also gave me my magickal name. When I found out it is the name of an Angel I was very excited. Because there is also an evil man with that name I changed it later on and never used it again. In this ritual now I “understood” that I “have” to use the name, to balance the evil that has become associated with it.
Set up the triangle and called Lucifer with the G.V. conjuration and his enn. Had a long talk about my character and why I can't stand people around me. In the end he gave me a hug and I laughed because of how silly and girly I felt.
Ate a lot of fresh pineapple and coconut and decided to drink the second glass at 13:40. Did some exercises and listened to youtube. Tried a couple of “happiness frequency” videos but I don't like music with wind chimes and howling wolves and eagles etc. Reloaded the homepage and saw a video of the “bad man” associated with the name. He was sweating and according to the videos title he was crumbling. The video was from the day before. I started watching it and felt the second glass starting to kick in. The face in the video wasn't human anymore. It was hilarious. I went to the toilet and passed the painting I had done. Picked it up and sat down. Immediately a similar cloud of “transparent static” formed around and behind the painting. As I looked at it the face started to change. Really change. For about 10 to 15 minutes I had the most intense visuals I have ever had. The crude painting turned into several really life like faces, ever changing one into the other. I asked its name and it told me, then the visuals started to dim down and fade again. That really was the peak moment. I got up, finally went to the toilet and ate some more fruit. The rest of the day I had a slight “off” feeling but no more visuals.
It was a nice experience. Wish I could tell you more or more exciting things but that would be lies. There's no doubt that on a sunny day, in the woods and maybe with someone else around it would be entirely different. But it is what it is. Still have 38 grams of mimosa bark left over + some other “stuff” so I might try again at one time or another.
