Bestest French Fry Condiments

[Xenophon]

OK, we all remember John Travolta in Pulp Fiction groaning about mayonnaise on French fries in Holland and how the Dutch "drown 'em in that s***." (Do they? I never ate fries whilst passing through, I guess.) Anyhow, what's the best stuff to put on fries? I mean ketchup shows no imagination. Thousand Island shows verve, but not a whole lot. A slight uptick from the mouth-breather's, "If we don't use ketchup, let's try French's mustard." Add a point for German "Senf," but it's pricey compared to the others. Anchovy paste? DO-NOT-GO-THERE. I have. It's the gastronomic equivalent of what the artist Pickman fed his ghoul models when fresh corpses were in short supply.

Personally, I'm keen on Blue Cheese salad dressing with finely grated garlic and a goodly dollop of mustard oil (what gets called horseradish in the States.) Not so much as to rival wasabi, but goodly withal. Tabasco can be substituted if you must. Try that on your fries---it's the most fun you can have till you quit NOFAP.