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Of a five minute meditation, I caught glimpses of people, some bearded, in prison cells. A man in red on a throne. No rack in sight however. Will keep at it. It seems to tie into a dream or two I had.
So @Roma ... You've mentioned me as a monk in a monestary before...if im not putting words into your mouth, you're saying past life regression is a key, both spiritual and material?
I know an enemy with a knife is in one of three rooms, all locked. He and I both have keys to all. Fighting off sleep, I wait till I hear snoring. I have the "wisdom" to open that door. I still need to deal with the enemy. So "wisdom" might better be defined as knowing how to deal with what lies behind the door.
Yes, wisdom literally is "how to deal with it when there are many options".
The keys and the door are a metaphor. In this case the "door" is the snoring enemy with a knife. All of the options are like a pocket full of keys. Only one produces the best-of-the-best outcome. Wisdom is accuratley knowing which of those many options will produce the best-of-the-best outcome. The best-of-the-best outcome is the door that needs to be unlocked, and, only one key opens that door. That's the metaphor.
The wise choice when confronted with an enemy who is armed with a knife is to use a gun. Never fight fair. Walking into the room with the snoring enemy unarmed does not seem to be a wise choice. Hopefully the knife is on the night stand, but, that's not what I would do when I went to sleep in that situation.
I've started exposure therapy, even if it's walking a couple house lengths or into a gas station. Heights are still the major anxiety provoker. Funny thing is 9t wasn't always like this, for example I've gone over the Golden gate in San Francisco 9r mackinaw bridge. I was on a ferry recently going to mackinaw in 2017 that was anxiety provoking.
I've started exposure therapy, even if it's walking a couple house lengths or into a gas station. Heights are still the major anxiety provoker. Funny thing is 9t wasn't always like this, for example I've gone over the Golden gate in San Francisco 9r mackinaw bridge. I was on a ferry recently going to mackinaw in 2017 that was anxiety provoking.
I would suggest for the exposure therapy, if you're not doing this already, start quantifyiing the experience from 1 to 10. 1 is slight apprehension. 10 is absolute terror. Provoke the fear response by exposure. Quanitfy the fear, 1-10. Aim for above 7. Then wait in the experience. Then reassess. Most people report that after a minute or two, that's all it takes, they will reassess and the distress will be significantly lower. Sometimes in the 2-3 range. That's the idea.
After reading what you wrote, though, I think there's more going on than sensitivity. If so, the exposure may help a little, or a lot. Maybe in some cases but not all.
Here's a link with the SUDS scale for helping to quntify the fear. Also I attached a PDF from Michigan university to help detail the process for exposure therapy.
I want to re-read what you have already written again before commenting more. If you have more examples, I think that's very helpful for better pattern recognition. Also, grocery stores? Is that always? Sometimes? Does it matter if they're busy compared to empty? Is it specfic stores? Are there any that never-never provoke a reaction? Is there a bad memory associated with grocery stores, or a specific grocery store?
Of a five minute meditation, I caught glimpses of people, some bearded, in prison cells. A man in red on a throne. No rack in sight however. Will keep at it. It seems to tie into a dream or two I had.
So @Roma ... You've mentioned me as a monk in a monestary before...if im not putting words into your mouth, you're saying past life regression is a key, both spiritual and material?
It's kind of like the story about the world on a turtle's back, except that with past lives you're going backwards. Which personally I find insulting: all of my mistakes---like my novels--- are DERIVATIVE too?!
I have read about conquering fear and I have conquered fears. In my experience facing them until there is no fear of it works best. Of course some things you can't face until the moment such as death. I do believe that we can face the concept of death of course which can help with other fears. After all, death is usually one of the things that terrifies people the most. Repetition of facing the fear will help. As far as physical effects I am not sure I understand what you mean by that? Can you elaborate on that?
I'm epileptic since birth, and have multiple mental and physical trauma of the seizures and other events, particularly the last couple years.
One medication I have induces as a side effect of physical leg and hand tremors that are seemingly permanent.
The idea is it's linked to fear of having a traumatic fall. Therefore linked to an existential crisis. Fear of dying despite rededication to the Christian faith and baptism. Fear of separation from family in terms of collective faith.
I live in a mountain area currently, therefore a lot of steep hills. Unfamiliar with the state for the most part.
An example might be a walk I took with my brother going downhill at night here in southern CA. It's been developed a lot since I was last here, and when my nieces were young I didn't have this traumatic fear of heights or falling. I grew up and had a paper route in a subdivision with some hills.
However, as we were walking downhill, out of the corner of my eye I saw lots of hills increasing perception of heights. All of a sudden the tremors got really bad in my legs. Walking in the flat cul de sac afterwards I get terrible tremors.
It's not just heights or fear of falling, but it is related. I take medication for one of my disorders and the tremors have become permanent, at least while i take it, even at a reduced dose.
A lengthy explanation, I know. Hope it cleared that up.
I'm epileptic since birth, and have multiple mental and physical trauma of the seizures and other events, particularly the last couple years.
One medication I have induces as a side effect of physical leg and hand tremors that are seemingly permanent.
The idea is it's linked to fear of having a traumatic fall. Therefore linked to an existential crisis. Fear of dying despite rededication to the Christian faith and baptism. Fear of separation from family in terms of collective faith.
I live in a mountain area currently, therefore a lot of steep hills. Unfamiliar with the state for the most part.
An example might be a walk I took with my brother going downhill at night here in southern CA. It's been developed a lot since I was last here, and when my nieces were young I didn't have this traumatic fear of heights or falling. I grew up and had a paper route in a subdivision with some hills.
However, as we were walking downhill, out of the corner of my eye I saw lots of hills increasing perception of heights. All of a sudden the tremors got really bad in my legs. Walking in the flat cul de sac afterwards I get terrible tremors.
It's not just heights or fear of falling, but it is related. I take medication for one of my disorders and the tremors have become permanent, at least while i take it, even at a reduced dose.
A lengthy explanation, I know. Hope it cleared that up.
I am sorry to hear that you have had to deal with such challenges. You seem like an intelligent person and a critical thinker with courage so that is a great thing to focus on about yourself. When you say "the idea is" do you mean what someone else says or what you think? Just curious. From the limited info I can only go from my own and others experiences. As far as hand tremors, they are awful and medications can be such a problem even though they can help with things so I can understand the frustration with that. As far as I know nothing you can do about the tremors as long as you are on the eds but I don't know a lot about it. Medication may also impact the fear as well as diet. Believe it or not diet can do so much. I ate just about everything my whole life and then all of a sudden started to get what people would call major anxiety. I had no clue what was going on. I am a very courageous person and I never had any anxiety my whole life. I looked into all kinds of things, spiritual, meditation, Tai Chi. What I found was I developed food sensitivities and when I eat certain things, I get major adrenal gland activity and along with it comes thoughts of anxiety. Once I stopped eating the foods that caused it, went away. A Naturopath helped with it as I take supplements as well. Just to rule out food as you can control that, I would do an elimination diet for a while (which is good for you anyway) and if foods trigger anything you can eliminate them. If the trauma is the main root then I don't know what to do there. Since you are epileptic, obviously having a seizure and falling is a possibility ( I am guessing as I do not know the effectiveness of the medication) so it is not an irrational thought but the fear associated sounds like it is causing you unhappiness there understandably. I empathize for sure, tough situation to deal with, these types of challenges can be such a pain in the ass for sure. I don't have much to offer as far as info except for the food but it is worth exploring, you never know. You do a food journal of when and what you eat as well. If you decide to try it I can answer any questions on it as I did it and figured it all out for my issues.
I am sorry to hear that you have had to deal with such challenges. You seem like an intelligent person and a critical thinker with courage so that is a great thing to focus on about yourself. When you say "the idea is" do you mean what someone else says or what you think? Just curious. From the limited info I can only go from my own and others experiences.
My sister has been observing me and works as a teacher dealing with students with various disorders. She also knows of various seizures conditions I've faced including one where i had a seizure standing up at the top of a staircase and fell down crashing through a closet door.
So the fear of falling, shower anxiety, heights anxiety contributes. Reichian chiropractic therapy from reading The Middle Pillar might help, but some form of therapy is a must.
As far as hand tremors, they are awful and medications can be such a problem even though they can help with things so I can understand the frustration with that. As far as I know nothing you can do about the tremors as long as you are on the eds but I don't know a lot about it. Medication may also impact the fear as well as diet. Believe it or not diet can do so much. I ate just about everything my whole life and then all of a sudden started to get what people would call major anxiety. I had no clue what was going on. I am a very courageous person and I never had any anxiety my whole life. I looked into all kinds of things, spiritual, meditation, Tai Chi. What I found was I developed food sensitivities and when I eat certain things, I get major adrenal gland activity and along with it comes thoughts of anxiety.
I've wondered that as well. The reason for the walks is severe weight gain as another medication side effect. Atkins or South Beach may help in quick weight loss.
Once I stopped eating the foods that caused it, went away. A Naturopath helped with it as I take supplements as well. Just to rule out food as you can control that, I would do an elimination diet for a while (which is good for you anyway) and if foods trigger anything you can eliminate them. If the trauma is the main root then I don't know what to do there. Since you are epileptic, obviously having a seizure and falling is a possibility ( I am guessing as I do not know the effectiveness of the medication) so it is not an irrational thought but the fear associated sounds like it is causing you unhappiness there understandably. I empathize for sure, tough situation to deal with, these types of challenges can be such a pain in the ass for sure. I don't have much to offer as far as info except for the food but it is worth exploring, you never know. You do a food journal of when and what you eat as well. If you decide to try it I can answer any questions on it as I did it and figured it all out for my issues.
Will do. My online journal is the main one I keep. Perhaps including what I e eaten and effects may help as much as physically backlogging my dreams in an offline journal I keep.
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Weel, it seems perhaps the wobbly legs aren't due to anxiety due to enormous bone pain ive had for the past two days, most likely due to another known disorder of mine, maybe something worse like bone cancer.
Today I was by myself at the appointment. A little shaky at first.
On the ride home I was calm until going up in heights ... Seeing rooftops of apartment complexes and buildings.
Heights however, where I am at is up on a mountain, but not up at the top. I would freak out more going higher.
Heights is also a matter of perception. If it seems relatively flat I am okay. If I see a slope, not okay.
I am looking forward to being treated and in psychoanalysis.
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My sister has been observing me and works as a teacher dealing with students with various disorders. She also knows of various seizures conditions I've faced including one where i had a seizure standing up at the top of a staircase and fell down crashing through a closet door.
So the fear of falling, shower anxiety, heights anxiety contributes. Reichian chiropractic therapy from reading The Middle Pillar might help, but some form of therapy is a must.
I've wondered that as well. The reason for the walks is severe weight gain as another medication side effect. Atkins or South Beach may help in quick weight loss.
Will do. My online journal is the main one I keep. Perhaps including what I e eaten and effects may help as much as physically backlogging my dreams in an offline journal I keep.
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Weel, it seems perhaps the wobbly legs aren't due to anxiety due to enormous bone pain ive had for the past two days, most likely due to another known disorder of mine, maybe something worse like bone cancer.
Well I sure hope there is no cancer. Anxiety def would not cause physical pain but food sensitivities can. I had no idea. I would get peripheral pain in many different places, bad migraines, joint pain. It was all due to food sensitivities. I had no idea they caused that stuff. You never know, the food could be a factor in some of the issues but obviously not all. Worth a try to see if it helps. Ashwagandha, L-Theanine, Vit B5, probiotics, lots of Vit C, Magnesium is what I take, it helps big time for adrenal gland issues which causes anxiety. Try that for sure and do the elimination diet if you can handle the lose of stuff you like to eat. It may be a huge help along with the other stuff you are doing. Hope you get some relief brother!
Me too. Likely it's degenerative disk disorder tripping the sciatic nerve and regular aging growing pains but will still ask for it to be checked out.
Will try different diets and the supplements you recommended.
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Went shopping, tremors were low, and store was moderately busy. Exposure therapy still continues to work. Psychiatry appointment next week, so hopefully I can get 8nto handicap accessible therapy somewhere close by.
Me too. Likely it's degenerative disk disorder tripping the sciatic nerve and regular aging growing pains but will still ask for it to be checked out.
Will try different diets and the supplements you recommended.
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Went shopping, tremors were low, and store was moderately busy. Exposure therapy still continues to work. Psychiatry appointment next week, so hopefully I can get 8nto handicap accessible therapy somewhere close by.
Sounds like a lot on your plate. The supplements I recommended should help some. Evening - 2 magnesium, 2 ashwagandha, 1 L-theanine, 500 mg Vit C. Morning - 1 Vit B5, probiotics, 500mg VitC. Pricy but worth it if it helps.
So @Roma ... You've mentioned me as a monk in a monastery before...if im not putting words into your mouth, you're saying past life regression is a key, both spiritual and material?
Not necessary past life regression - although that can help if well focused.
The issue is that trauma, relationships, skills, preferences get carried over from past lives - thereby allowing learning processes to resume.
It is possible to grow out of many aspects by lifting the vibrational levels of the physical, emotional and mental bodies, and thereby discharging the dense substances in which the problems are anchored.
I was recently dealing with a fellow who was dying of bone cancer. The bones generate most of the new blood.
We had a session in which the key issue was enjoying righteous anger - over several lives.
Once he released that and forgave himself, he was able to discharge various adverse connections to his light body and after about 6 weeks all his blood tests were normal and he was regaining strength.
Talked with my neurologist and the anti psychotic medication is a contributor to the tremors. It still counts me out for any sort of physical work however. Will still change the diet and get the other concern checked. Luckily I see the psychiatrist next week and will request referrals.
Fair question. Sadly it is now weeks later. I think I was building up to something about exposure as the cure. But I already broached that topic and you've already tasted the wares.
Of a five minute meditation, I caught glimpses of people, some bearded, in prison cells. A man in red on a throne. No rack in sight however. Will keep at it. It seems to tie into a dream or two I had.
So @Roma ... You've mentioned me as a monk in a monestary before...if im not putting words into your mouth, you're saying past life regression is a key, both spiritual and material?
Talk about synchronicity! Folks who are into past life regression correlate highly with those who see past life life regression as the key to...well, everything. (Except maybe solving the original mundane li'l problem that kicked off these thousands of years' avoidances). Who was that kid in "Peanuts"? Marcie? The one who thought her "naturally curly hair" solved all life's woes? And shy does her image keep popping to mind here?
Probably because there are Lucies and Marcies and Charlies who have graced the halls here here and there over time.
Exposire therapy has absolutely been a life saving idea on conquering my phobias. Sure, med levels need to stay constant at a correct dosage, but exposure therapy has been terrific.
Probably because there are Lucies and Marcies and Charlies who have graced the halls here here and there over time.
Exposire therapy has absolutely been a life saving idea on conquering my phobias. Sure, med levels need to stay constant at a correct dosage, but exposure therapy has been terrific.
The final test finally has to be exposure. It's one thing to know the ice of a frozen river is perfectly safe standing on shore. Another to be telling oneself that when either bank is 100 m to the rear or the fore. I tend to look on past lives regression in these cases like reading the weather reports. Possibly informative but pragmatically beside the point. I am simplistic, I guess.
Well ... There are the leg tremors and chance of seizure. So heights and water I go slow. I've never really been fond of escalators, but not morbidly frightened of them as I am now.
Heights I'm getting there though, as California are pretty much mountains. Not the first mountain state I've lived in, and on planes all you do is place your trust that the pilots know what they're doing.
Water. Lots of water dreams lately.
