Journal Desert of the Shadow

[Sh4d0w]

After writing my introduction here:
https://wizardforums.com/threads/me-and-my-shadow.14068/


I decided to start a journal.


I didn’t post this in the Energy Manipulation and Vampirism section because that area seems more suited for sharing actual techniques and comparing methods. I’m not at that stage yet. I’m still learning the basics, and I don’t feel right giving advice before I’ve tested things on myself first. I need to understand something through experience before I can speak about it with confidence.


Right now, I’ve just begun studying “Magic Without Tools” by Sean Wilde. It feels like a good starting point for me, especially since I don’t have access to any ritual tools and my environment doesn’t allow for much external practice. So for now, everything will be energy-based, to the best of my ability.


The community here has been unexpectedly supportive. No judgment, no dismissal, just shared experience and clear guidance. That alone is a sign to me that I should stay and keep working.


So, this journal will be a place for: observation / doubt / trial and error / reflection on progress.
If anyone wants to comment or offer feedback, you’re welcome. Discussion is part of learning.


As for near-term plans:
I’ll continue reading the book and working through the foundational exercises. Interestingly, I realized that around 80% of the beginner practices described there are things I’ve already been doing intuitively in my life. The book simply gives structure and context to what I was doing unconsciously. Now I can repeat these exercises with intention and understand what each one develops and why.


So this won’t be “I follow the book blindly,” but rather “I compare it with my own instinct, test it, and refine.”


This is the first entry.
The journey begins.

"I walk into the desert of understanding —
just me and the shadow that walks beside me.
No noise, no rush, no promises of instant answers.
Only the wind, the heat, the silence,
and whatever I become while crossing it."

Post automatically merged: Nov 5, 2025

Chapter 2: Perception (Magic w/o Tools by Sean Wilde)​

Question: “How do I know if I’m sensing energy or just imagining it?”


Answer:
I realized that almost no one actually sees energy with their physical eyes.
What I perceive is pressure, warmth, density, or vibration — and the mind translates this into an image so it’s easier to understand.
So what I “see” is not visualization.
It’s a sensory impression that the mind shapes into a symbolic form.

---

Question: “Is it possible to work with energy purely mentally, without physical movement or posture?”


Answer:
Yes. I discovered that my dominant channels are tactile and conceptual.
Meaning: I feel energy through the body and I understand its direction and “shape” with the mind.
So I can work in an inner space — a kind of “inner room” — where no physical action is necessary.
In that space, nothing limits me.

---

Question: “If I feel warmth, tingling, heaviness — is that real or self-suggestion?”


Answer:
This is the genuine response of the subtle body.
Energy is experienced through temperature shifts, pressure, motion, contraction/expansion.
Self-suggestion does not produce stable and repeatable sensations.
But my sensations are consistent and can be directed intentionally —
so this is perception, not fantasy.

---

Question: “Why does someone I know have a soft aura, while their outer personality seems sharp and aggressive?”


Answer:
Personality ≠ energy.
I realized that energy reflects the internal state, not the external behavior.
A person may speak loudly or look confident, but still hold softness and warmth inside.
I learned to read the inner foundation instead of the social mask.

---

Question: “How do I embed emotion, intention, or meaning into energy?”


Answer:
Energy forms have three components when shaped deliberately:

• The color reflects the frequency or quality of the energy.
• The form defines the function (whether it is protection, projection, or healing).
• The emotion/intention gives the structure purpose and direction.

After understanding this, I stopped “making spheres” and began constructing functional forms.

---

Question: “Is it possible to create shapes, tools, or weapons out of energy?”


Answer:
Yes — and I realized that I had already been doing this before.
The book simply gave me language and structure for what was already happening naturally.

---

Chapter 3: Grounding​

Question: “What is grounding actually? Is it just connecting to the physical earth?”


Answer:
No. What most people call “grounding” is simply earthing — physical contact with the ground or soil.
True grounding is the release of excess or unwanted energy from the system.
It doesn’t matter where it goes or what color it appears as.
What matters is that the energy leaves and the cycle closes.

---

Question: “Is grounding only for negative energy?”


Answer:
No. Grounding is needed for any energy I don’t want to hold.
Even “positive” or uplifting energy, if there’s too much of it, starts to burn, expand, or distort balance.
So grounding = cleansing + balancing + stabilization.

---

Question: “Can I ground the way I used to — gathering the negative energy into my hand like a dark substance and shaking it off?”


Answer:
Yes, that is a valid form of active grounding.
However, there is one important refinement:
Shaking it off onto objects or the environment leaves an energetic residue behind — it “contaminates” the space.


A more effective approach is to dissolve the gathered energy — by fire, by light, by intention.
The method isn’t as important as the result:
The energy is released and the field stays clean.

---

Chapter 4: Energy Exchange​

Question:
Does any contact with another person create an energetic link? Even if it’s just a conversation or a glance?


Answer:
Yes. Any form of attention toward a person — a word, a look, a touch, or even an inner thought about them — forms an energetic thread. The longer attention is held, the stronger the channel becomes. Even when physical interaction ends, if you keep thinking about or emotionally investing in that person, the connection remains active. To break it you must stop feeding it with the energy of attention.

---

Question:
Why does conscious energy exchange feel intimate, even if it’s not love?


Answer:
Because conscious exchange moves deeper than surface emotions. The flow touches inner centers — especially the heart and throat — which produces a sense of deep closeness similar to mutual disclosure. That closeness is not necessarily love; it is an energetic resonance. Our language grasps at it with words like “attachment” or “attraction,” but those are often just approximations. It’s important to separate resonance from feeling, otherwise you can easily mistake energetic pull for emotional love.

---

Question:
Why do we sometimes feel drawn to be near a specific person?


Answer:
It can be a dependency on their energetic field. If two fields match structurally, the brain registers comfort and attraction. If the contact repeatedly engages lower chakras, the sensation can resemble habit or hunger. That is a pattern of exchange, not a genuine feeling, and it can be consciously broken by stopping to feed the connection with attention.

---

Question:
Can you create an energetic “double” and use it as a training dummy for offense and defense?


Answer:
Yes. I made an energetic phantom out of my own prana. It is not alive, it does not think or suffer — it is a functional shell. It can hold shape, take a hit, and reflect an attack. This is safe as long as you do not invest it with the core of your personality. I created empty shells and destroyed them without consequence; that shows the method works when done correctly.

---

​

Chapter 5: Shielding​

Question:
Why is the classic “white light egg” considered a weak shield?


Answer:
Because the egg shape is structurally vulnerable at the top.
In energetic interaction, pressure most often comes from above or from the upper layers of the field.
When pressure is applied to the “crown point” of an egg-shaped shield, it collapses, causing disorientation or pain.


A spherical shield distributes force evenly across its entire surface, which makes it stable and free of weak points.
The closer the shield is to a true sphere, the more resilient it becomes.

---

Question:
Why use multiple layers of shielding instead of one strong shield?


Answer:
One shield is a single point of failure.
If it breaks, you’re exposed.


Layered shielding works differently:

• The outer layer absorbs or diffuses impact.
• The middle layer distorts, redirects, or neutralizes incoming pressure.
• The inner layer hides your true energetic structure entirely.

Layers are about function, not thickness.

---

Question:
How do you maintain shields automatically, even when not thinking about them?


Answer:
Once a structure is formed correctly and linked to a clear intention, it shifts into background operation — what can be called a pattern lock.
Meaning the shield sustains itself as long as the initial structure, energy, and command are stable.
You don’t “hold” the shield — the shield holds itself.

---

My Experience with Energy Work (Chapters 1–5)​

When I began practicing from the book, many things I had been doing intuitively finally gained structure. I realized that my sensations were real — I simply lacked words and a framework to understand them.


At first, I worked on perception: learning not to see energy, but to feel it — as warmth, pressure, tingling, or shifts in internal weight. I learned the difference between imagination and perception — when the image doesn’t come from mental effort, but appears by itself as a reflection of an already existing state.


I began to sense chakras as real centers:

• In the solar plexus — a dense, noisy cloud of hesitation and doubt.
• In the heart — a warm, soft sphere, simply undernourished.
• In the throat — the image of a spider, clinging tightly, symbolizing a suppressed voice.

I didn’t “force” these centers open. I illuminated them from within.
After clearing, the centers glowed evenly and quietly, and there was a moment where the whole inner field felt bright — breathing became deeper and quieter.

---

Energy Shaping and Early Mistakes​

Then I moved to shaping energy.
I realized I could not only feel energy but also give it form.


I practiced:

• Forming a psi-ball between my palms
• Giving it density, color, emotional tone
• Holding it stable without mental strain

At first, the ball collapsed whenever I lost focus — I tried to hold it by force, which only scattered it. Later, I understood: the psi-ball forms from soft intention, not tension.


Eventually I shaped a sharp energetic spike — and out of inexperience, directed it into myself.
There was no physical pain, but the sensation of a hole in the subtle body was real. I had to restore the area with breath and green light.


This became a fundamental lesson:
Intention and direction are the core of safety.

---

Sensing People and Energetic Fields​

With perception strengthened, I began sensing people more accurately.
Some fields feel:

• soft and open,
• some stagnant and heavy,
• some sharp and guarded.

This is how I sensed my neighbor — not by physical smell, but by energetic stagnation, which feels exactly like the scent of decay.
It is direct perception of density and movement in the field.

---

Grounding​

Grounding became straightforward once I realized it’s not about “plugging into the earth,” but about releasing what is not mine.


I learned to:

• gather “negative” energy as dense dark mass
• dissolve it with fire
• or drop it into neutral space

I stopped holding what didn’t belong to me.


There were mistakes here too — at first, I threw the energy blindly into objects, which caused it to accumulate. Later, I learned to dissolve rather than dump.

---

Energy Exchange and Threads​

I realized that any contact — conversation, glance, emotional reaction, even a memory — creates a thread.
If you continue thinking about someone, the thread remains active.
So I stopped feeding connections I no longer needed.


This was the first step toward energetic autonomy.

---

Shielding and Structure​

Finally, I reached shielding, and everything aligned.


I build spherical shields — not egg-shaped — because spheres distribute pressure evenly and have no weak point.


I use layered protection:

1. Outer white sphere — general defense
2. Second layer — shifting-frequency auric camouflage
3. Third layer — intercepts, erases meaning, rewrites intent, returns along the same thread

The shields maintain themselves — I don’t hold them with tension; they are written into the field.

---

Constructs and Phantoms​

I also discovered I can create phantoms — empty energetic forms that:

• can act
• receive damage
• dissolve on impact

Without affecting me at all.
They are extensions of will, but without identity or emotional core.


My early attempts were unstable — the constructs collapsed as soon as I stopped paying attention. Later, they became self-coherent, requiring only initial impulse.

---

Post automatically merged: Nov 5, 2025

Growing so fast, I noticed something dark awakening — intrusive thoughts about using power for harm. In the quiet I realised these weren’t entirely my thoughts, as if someone were feeding them to me from outside. Normally there is silence and calm inside me, but suddenly an unfamiliar aggression appeared, a different tone to my thinking, an obsessive quality. It seems I’m under attack from those same “scavengers” who don’t want to lose their tasty piece of energy. Now I have enough knowledge to fight back. I’ll try to calm down, slip into meditation, step outside my body to see them. They’ll be disappointed — there will be no feast. There’s little use in such beings: they aren’t living in the usual sense but empty vessels, perpetually hungry, made to take, not give. Destroying them wouldn’t be a tragedy — rather liberation after years of being drained, left with fear and loneliness. It’s time to put an end to this.

 

[Sh4d0w]

Reading Chapter 6 of this remarkable book, I’m realizing even more that I had been doing all of this intuitively long before encountering these descriptions. The author explains how to cleanse the chakras; he was taught to start from the head, whereas I had always done the opposite — though, as he notes, the key is to follow what feels natural for you. The essence remains the same: clearing away a sticky, dense residue. And thinking back to my previous experiences and reflections, that’s exactly how I worked — the energy felt thick, dark, clinging to the chakra, and I would remove it. It’s a strange feeling, doing something first and only later discovering that someone else described the method exactly as you had practiced it.


The section in this chapter on sobriety emphasizes honesty with reality. This keeps the ego in check and protects against self-deception. Being honest with yourself is essential: do not invent accomplishments. Recognize progress, but don’t exaggerate it. Otherwise, you devalue actual work, and your clarity weakens.


Regarding tools — the author notes that even if you choose to use certain items in your practice, you should not become dependent on them. True magic and power do not require tools.


Another important point I took from this chapter: everything we do in the physical world directly affects the spiritual one. There must be balance between the physical and spiritual planes. The chapter also provides several useful techniques; there’s no point in repeating them here.


Moving into Chapter 7, which focuses on attacks, there is a key idea: if you believe in a particular law, it begins to operate for you — because you open yourself to the egregore that sustains that law. If a person stops believing in it, if they no longer accept it as truth, the law stops applying to them.


Now about karma. This concept is often confused with the idea of immediate consequences, but karma is something else entirely — it unfolds across lifetimes, not instantly. What most people call “doing good” does not create good karma, and “doing bad” does not create bad karma. When we are born, we each have a dharma — a role we are meant to fulfill in this life. For the majority, that role aligns with what society calls “good.” For a minority, the role may be what society labels “bad” or even “evil.” Karma accumulates not from whether our actions are good or bad, but from whether we fulfill our dharma. The key is not in moral categories of good/evil, but in authenticity and alignment with one’s true path.


The chapter then describes various forms of attacks (using energy spheres, projections, etc.). I had actually experimented with some of these intuitively before, and I discovered new forms as well — draining, overloading, and so on. I realized that someone had used overloads on me before — that sensation was familiar and definitely unpleasant. It's also clear that raw power matters: during a clash, energies can rebound between practitioners until one has the strength to maintain control, so increasing your energy level is essential.


There are countless ways to set up an energetic ambush for someone who is careless. And there is a mention that if you cannot strike the practitioner directly, you can attack his surroundings — work, family members, friends. But something in me strongly rejects that. What kind of person would I become if I harmed someone’s child just to hurt the parent? What would that make me? Innocent and unaware people should not be dragged into these conflicts.


The chapter then discusses manipulation. Sometimes, all you need is reputation, psychological pressure, or suggestion — not actual magical work. Or rather, the manipulation itself becomes the magical act. Keep this in mind when someone claims they have “cast something” on you — sometimes the statement is the act.


Manipulation is not achieved only through energy; it can be spiritual, physical, sexual, or psychological. When trying to achieve something, using all four modalities provides the strongest effect. If you are drawn to someone and send energy to attract or seduce them — that alone may function as a working.


Another important warning: beginners love to post their spells and workings online. Sharing joy is fine — but the moment you reveal your magic to someone, you give them a window into your operation. You make them part of the process, introducing chaos or giving them the ability to interfere. When someone publicly shares their workings, it often signals inexperience, vanity, insecurity, or deception — often all at once. Keep your magic secret until the work is complete.


Strong Will is crucial. Too often, workings are driven by ego. Every serious practitioner eventually reaches a turning point: you must hold immense Will in ritual, but temper it with humility. The energies we work with are available to every human being — but they come with responsibility. Few carry that responsibility properly.

Post automatically merged: Saturday at 6:59 PM

I feel much freer now. The activation and cleansing of the chakras truly helped — dependencies and inner blocks have fallen away, and both my body and soul feel lighter. My energy and strength have noticeably increased. During the breakthrough, it was challenging: especially in the heart chakra area, there was pressure, as if I had taken too big of a step forward at once. But I managed to stabilize the state.


Now I feel like I’ve returned to my true self. Old fears are losing their power, and destructive habits seem to be fading away on their own. My self-control has grown stronger, and even my breathing feels freer — as if I’ve thrown off a heavy burden. The energy in my hands has also increased — for a long time I felt stuck, and now the movement has finally begun...

Post automatically merged: Sunday at 7:41 AM

After I went through and released the suppressed emotions, fears, and impulses, I came into an unexpected state.
There is no inner conflict. No split between “me” and something hidden.
No sense that something else is sitting inside.
There is simply me — clear, direct, without division or masks.

This doesn’t feel like what people usually call “shadow integration.”
I don’t sense any dark or concealed part of myself right now.
What once felt “foreign” or “dangerous” inside turned out to be just accumulated tension that I avoided facing for years.
Once I allowed it to surface, it dissolved naturally, without force or struggle.

Right now there are only two elements present:

1. Me — steady, observing awareness without role or persona.


2. The dependency I fed for years — the release through masturbation and pornography.
It now feels completely foreign, because I no longer need it.
It’s simply a residual mechanism — a neural pattern + emotional loop that still needs time to run itself out.



If this state is truly transitional, then eventually a new kind of strength may appear:
quiet, stable, grounded — without being based on excitement, fear, or escape.

Another observation.
I’m starting to think that Sean Wilde’s path may not be an endpoint for me, but rather a framework that helped me recognize what I was already doing instinctively.
The book is useful, but essentially it just confirms my existing approach:
if one has inner space, concentration, will, and intention — it’s possible to work without physical tools.

Symbols, objects, ritual forms — they are supports for focus.
They make things easier.
But with enough internal stability, the same work can be done directly.

Everyone chooses their own method.
Some need candles, others need a circle, others need a tangible object.
For me, inner space + will + intention is enough.
In that sense, this world is good — it gives room for many paths without enforcing a single “correct” way.

I don’t place myself among witches, vampires, or any specific “type.”
I am simply myself.
And that doesn’t exclude respect for other paths.

From the outside, it might look like my development here is moving fast.
But in reality this wasn’t a sudden breakthrough.
It’s the result of years of self-observation, internal work, dismantling illusions, and direct confrontation with my own pain.

Only after that does strength without a mask become possible.

 

[Sh4d0w]

Now I need to destroy this parasite once and for all — the one that has been feeding on me for a long time.
It even challenges me directly, taking on my own shape.
This is a struggle for control — over personality, over the body, and most importantly — over energy.


While practicing, I noticed that abstinence helps me strongly: my energy becomes clean and steady.
That other energy — the lustful one — is chaotic, distorted, sticky and unpleasant.
It’s time to deal with this and finish it.
From this moment on, I will become different — permanently.


If someone tries to say: “This is normal, this is how you relax, you can even use it in magic” — maybe so.
But why does no one talk about the consequences?


From my own experience I saw: – personality degrading; – loss of strength and vitality; – health problems later (not catastrophic, but clearly connected to this).


Where is the strength in lust?
Why not charge objects or crystals simply with energy through the hands?
This energy is cleaner, stronger, without chaos, fear, or destruction.


Draw your own conclusions. I have already made mine, based on what I lived through.
There are so many layers of illusion in this that people lose themselves and their power.


I have one desire — to strike back at this egregore, or rather this entity, this parasite that fed on me and controlled me for so long.
The game is over now.


This creature is repulsive. It has no moral norms, no conscience, no shame.
I believe eliminating it within myself is natural — there are plenty of reasons to do so.
I remember how many times this thing left me to die inside — alone, slowly and painfully, after draining all my energy.
It was unbearable. I can’t fully describe that state.
I shook, I felt torn apart inside, the pain was overwhelming — and the worst part was the helplessness.
But I managed to break out of it.


This thing is bold, persistent, and now very strong, because it has eaten a lot — almost like a distorted version of me, but without any moral core.
All those thoughts and desires — they were not mine.
I only thought they were.


Today, we’ll see who wins.

Post automatically merged: Sunday at 3:21 PM

The battle itself took place inside me.
The image appeared immediately: a huge temple — columns, arches, high windows, sunlight through stained glass, candles along the walls.
That’s where everything unfolded — the battle with this creature that had been feeding on me all these years.

I was under energetic shields — multilayered, spherical, even and stable.
And yet, after the victory, I felt light touches — to my knee, my foot, my left hand, which was strange.
They passed through the shields, but did not break them.
There was no threat — just the fact of contact, as if someone simply noted their presence, without harm.
I tried to read the energy, but I still do not understand who or what it was.

The battle itself was intense.
This thing kept changing shape and weapons — and the longer the fight lasted, the more distorted and grotesque its form became.
Sometimes it was almost equal to me in strength, sometimes even stronger.
But it could not create.
It had no creativity, no imagination, no inner source — only pressure, mirroring, and an attempt to overwhelm.
And I won through creation — through form, intention, and will.
That was decisive.

At some point it spoke, apparently understanding the inevitability of its defeat:
"You felt good with me, didn’t you…" (and it said it in a deliberately pleasant voice)
But I remembered what came after:
the shattered state, exhaustion, emptiness, pain, and complete helplessness.
It just waited for me to get back up so it could feed again.
But this time, I chose differently — permanently:
let it be painful, let it be lonely — but not with this thing, never again.

In the end, after expending all its energy, it simply fell motionless.
And the ruins of that beautiful temple collapsed onto its already lifeless substance.
Empty, pale, pitiful.
Without strength or meaning.
Such an end was natural and inevitable for this creature.
A shame for the wasted years and effort — entering is always easy, but the exit costs everything.

Now any lustful desire causes disgust.
The body rejects it instantly.
What I needed was warmth, affection — not torn, dried-out lust.
I finally see clearly:
it was poison, with insane damage.

And I understood the main thing:
I simply wanted love, warmth, connection.
But I chose a path that only increased the emptiness.

Pornography and masturbation do not give love.
They only feed the gaping hole, making it deeper and more painful.
The more you give there — the stronger the hunger becomes.
And then comes the crash — loneliness, anger, hatred.

Now that is gone.

Now there is purity.
Lightness in breathing.
Freedom from the need to hide from myself or from others who I really am.
Images still appear in the mind, but I think it will fade — the brain will adjust, and I won’t even see them anymore.
I don’t want to think or write about that filth.
Love — yes. Lust and corruption — no.

Energy after the battle is almost gone — my head is “burning.”
Rest is needed.

Now I have the ability to love,
not to use, not to run away, not to imitate closeness — and that is very valuable.

Seeing reality directly can be painful, and changing it is even more painful.
The choice is this:
live in colorful illusions, while knowing inside that it is emptiness, nothingness —
or live in reality, at first with pain in your hands, and then with true love.
The first is a dry substitute; the second is real, living.
I made my choice here, irrevocably.

The realization that it is forever is a little frightening, but at the same time calming.
The path chosen is the right one — natural, I would say.

Sometimes images from the past still flash by, but I think the mind will sober.
They appear, and I feel disgust.
That parasite-creature was insane.
That deranged smile, its overwhelming force and madness, achieving its goal by any means, total moral decay…
That is what it represented — and now it is gone.
Only traces of poison remain in the consciousness and the soul, but they will fade with time.
The main thing is not to return — and everything will be fine.

Now I will have stable strength, truly pure energy.
Although it’s strange how I managed to keep my energy clean even in that chaos — the entities surely tried to pull their share.
But this is no longer important — the main thing is that it is behind me.

I regained control over myself.
Purity and calm are now my companions on my new path.

And now… I need rest.
Energy is almost gone.
I just want to fall and disconnect — literally.
Maybe I’ll sleep.

 

[Sh4d0w]

Today turned out to be notably eventful. Several situations occurred that I want to record—not to prove anything, but to observe how my sensitivity and interaction with the environment are changing.

1) Color of the water and directed energy​

I take effervescent vitamins. Usually, after dissolving, the water remains slightly cloudy yellow—I know this well.


Today I held the tablet in my hands and gave it a bit of my energy: I visualized green light, particles filling it with restoration and gentle healing.


When I dropped it into the water, I continued maintaining the flow, directing the visualization specifically during the dissolution.


And the water… turned light green.


Not a hint or reflection—an actual clear, even greenish shade.
I even shone a phone flashlight to rule out lighting distortions—the color was real.


Same conditions, same tablet. But the result was different.


I drank it carefully. Afterwards, I felt calm, warm, and collected.


I record:

-- a directed state can influence physical processes.

---

2) Sensitivity to the presence of living beings​

In recent days, my sense of the living space around me has been increasing.
For example, I can feel a bird in the air before I notice it with my eyes. There is simply a sense of a moving point, a trajectory, a presence.


Today, while walking down the street, I suddenly had a clear inner signal:
“Something is moving behind you. Step a little to the left.”


I just stepped aside, without thinking or turning around.


A couple of seconds later, a bicyclist passed behind me, and quite close.


It was a pure sensing of a living aura, a presence in space.


I record this as a clear enhancement of spatial perception.

---

3) Contact with crows​

This was the most subtle part.


I saw some crows. The flock was a bit farther away.
Normally, they either make noise, fly off, or behave cautiously.


I came closer and simply spoke to one of them, the one that stood slightly apart:
“Hey there…”


The crow didn’t fly away or caw.
It turned sideways and looked directly at me, as if evaluating or recognizing me.


And there was a very distinct sense of understanding. Not human, but living and aware.


When I walked on, that same crow flew closer to me, landed about five meters ahead on a metal fence, and continued watching as I kept walking.
This is the first time I’ve seen a crow behave like this, and it really struck me.


And that’s when I thought: we clearly underestimate animals.
They have mind, they have soul. Among them, strangely enough, I felt much more comfortable than with people.
They don’t gossip, don’t betray, don’t judge — and that is what makes them good.

 

[Sh4d0w]

In the evening after my walk, I lay down and decided to meditate. I cleared my chakras from contamination as usual and… I saw a spider again on the yellow chakra. The chakra looked dim, as if the spider was draining energy from it. I removed it, immobilized it, simply placed it into a sphere it could not escape from, and used “hooks” to analyze the program of this spider.


Its purpose was simply to consume as much as possible — that was all. It was either sent or came on its own, though most likely the second option. Usually, when a chakra is polluted, I see dark spots, not entities like spiders.


I just burned it the same way I burn negative energy. Then I continued meditating, cleansed all chakras, and everything recovered — the white glow returned, as it always does when the chakras are functioning steadily.


But after about 3–4 minutes, a swarm of spiders like that appeared.


That’s when the book “Magic Without Tools” came in handy.


I immediately understood — they were coming to feed on me, and they were coming fast. I had to act quickly.


I visualized an absorbing shield — dark — and set its function to absorb the energy of these spiders. They would ram the shield with their legs, scratch it, trying to break through, but instead they were giving their energy to the shield, strengthening it and being drained by it. So I successfully defended myself; they couldn’t get through.


One after another, they crawled in, desperately scratching, and died because the shield absorbed all their energy. There were a lot of them. At one point, a very large spider appeared — tried to bite through the shield — but it also died instantly as the shield drained it completely and became even stronger.


I don’t see them anymore.


I don’t know what caused this sudden intensification of these spiders. They are very weak and mostly pointless — probably just tried to feed “for free.”

 

[Mh4419]

Nice one mate, good work

 

[Sh4d0w]

Today seemed outwardly ordinary. I took the same effervescent vitamin again — this time without charging it with energy. The water kept its usual pale yellow-white color. Yesterday, when I directed energy into it, the shade changed to light green, so it wasn’t the tablet itself but my influence that caused it. Everyone can draw their own conclusions from that.


In the evening, I suddenly felt a sharp surge of energy and heat in the body. Warmth spread evenly throughout my whole body, my head felt slightly “floating,” and my pulse slowed down, becoming very calm — about 50 beats per minute. The flow was especially strong in the heart chakra. It felt as if it was opening and filling with too much energy, almost to the point of an internal “burst.” For a short moment, the sense of physical weight disappeared, like a mild shock or a temporary disconnection from the body. This state lasted for about 20–30 minutes, after which my body gradually calmed down and perception returned to normal.


About an hour and a half later, there was a complete feeling of peace and relaxation. I haven’t felt such clarity and lightness in a very long time, probably since childhood. I don’t know exactly what it was, but I managed to go through it without panic or resistance. Now I feel good — light, calm, and stable — but this calm is not the same as before. Something deep inside has definitely changed.

Post automatically merged: Tuesday at 5:07 PM

Today I noticed something interesting.
Yesterday, when the black spider-like shadow forms appeared, I instinctively used an absorptive shield to protect myself.
And only today, while reading the book (chapter 10 about entities), I came across the explanation that shields can indeed be used for protection against subtle beings.


So it ends up like this:
the practice comes first — the instinctive action — and only then does the theory appear.
The knowledge seems to rise from within, and the book simply confirms and expands what I have already experienced directly.

Post automatically merged: Wednesday at 3:29 PM

Chapter 11 “Spiritual Hierarchy” and Chapter 13 “Ritual.”
The eleventh chapter explains that the position of a being within the spiritual hierarchy determines to what extent it can be destroyed permanently. If someone stands above you, you cannot kill them—only weaken or banish them—while those above you are capable of ending your very existence. Such cases are rare, but they serve as a reminder of how cautious one must be when dealing with unpredictable or malevolent entities.


The thirteenth chapter mentions that a ritual can be performed entirely in the mind—without any physical movement—by simply visualizing the transitions from point to point. I realized that this applies not only to that particular example but to all other practices as well. Everything can indeed be done mentally; what truly matters is focus and intention, not physical gestures.


Later, I moved on to studying elemental activations and deactivations, trying to memorize the correct way to draw the pentagrams and the proper sequence of actions. Everything begins with the circle—it is the foundation, the boundary, and the protection. After that comes the pentagram and the activation of the chosen element. The same chapter also describes the “Citadel” ritual, which strengthens the aura, aligns the chakras, and creates an inner center of power and protection. I recalled the state I experienced after cleansing my chakras—the soft radiance of my aura—and realized that I had already done something similar before, without fully understanding what it was.


Then an idea came to me: to combine all of this into one process. Not physically, but mentally—to shift awareness outside the body or expand consciousness around myself, focusing deeply and drawing a circle of white energy in my mind. Then, to visualize the pentagram in the right sequence, understanding each step clearly. The key is not to lose focus and to act with full awareness. I decided to start by activating Fire, then layer Air on top of it, and finally Spirit. I’m not sure if it’s entirely proper to do so, but there’s power in this idea—to unite three elements into one symbol and use their combination for inner growth and awakening.


Later another thought appeared—what if I could attach this whole structure to myself? To create a permanent energetic foundation beneath me—a pentagram that I am always connected to, moving with me wherever I go. In that way, the need for a fixed physical space or drawn circle disappears—you carry your foundation within your own field. It’s not a shape or an object, but a living energetic structure that exists both beneath me and within me.


Thus, my observations from the book and my personal practice merged into a single realization: everything can be performed mentally, through consciousness and intent—it just requires greater focus. The true power of ritual lies not in the gestures, but in the inner act itself, in awareness and precise intention.


With this, my reading of the book comes to an end — all chapters have been completed. The book gave me much; it helped me understand things I had already been doing intuitively. The author explained in simple words what exactly I was performing and why. I don’t regret spending my time on it — it was absolutely worth it.

 

[Sh4d0w]

After finishing the book, I found myself at a kind of crossroads, asking where to move next and what to explore. I don’t have full clarity yet, but one thing is certain — the book helped me a lot and explained many things. At the same time, it’s important to remember that even it is not the “ultimate truth,” and I shouldn’t blindly believe everything written in it. Everything needs to be tested in practice. In my case, most of it does work.


I clearly remember how I deliberately charged a psi ball with the intention: “let at least someone read my journal or leave a couple of reactions.” The site was open, I directed the psi ball toward the laptop screen, and it dissolved. Around 10–15 minutes later, a user with the nickname “Mh4419” appeared in my thread, liked a few posts, and wrote: “Nice one mate, good work.” I still don’t know what his motivation was — whether he simply wanted to farm posts and likes to get the “share the love” medal, or whether he actually read my entries and made his own conclusions. It’s hard to say. But the outcome is the same: the goal was achieved, someone visited, left reactions, and even commented in my journal. And the timing was quite fast. I put the intention into the psi ball and placed it directly into my journal on the site.


I also remember the experience with the charged tablet and water. The color really changed — I checked everything carefully: lighting, composition, everything I could. There was simply no physical reason for the color to shift, which means the energy changed it through intention, will, and concentration. And after drinking it, I didn’t feel unwell at all.


Yesterday there was another moment: a sudden sharp pain in my left arm. I couldn’t understand where it came from; it felt as if something had pierced into it, causing a dull, stabbing sensation. I created a white protective sphere around myself and directed a green healing flow into the arm. Within 20–30 seconds, the pain went down by about ninety percent, and after another minute, it disappeared completely. Now the arm doesn’t hurt at all. So healing worked as well.


All that’s left is to take the theory from the book and keep applying it in practice. We’ll see where this leads me, but one thing is already clear: the results are real and quite noticeable.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 9:41 AM

After working with the book and my own experience, I created an inner space for myself — a night desert in which my temple stands. Inside the temple rises a golden pillar with chakras, and around it I drew a magic circle. I activated it as a connection “above and below,” as a symbol that reality is one and that what happens inside is reflected outside. Within this circle, I inscribed several variations of pentagrams, calling upon all five elements, and fixed the intention that this structure always follows me wherever I am.


In this inner world, I began to sense a special kind of power. It “smells” of roses and flowers, so to speak. It is soft, fragile, gentle, yet at the same time very strong and mysterious, and it clearly has its own intelligence. It does not interfere with what I do and does not decide for me. Rather, it quietly and subtly suggests, as if giving a light hint or direction, and then everything depends on me — on how I respond to these hints and how I use its presence. In terms of feeling, it is closer to a feminine type of energy; it has qualities that are usually perceived as feminine: softness, delicacy, care, subtlety.


Sometimes I feel as if it has always been watching and continues to watch over me: every movement, every glance, every thought. It is as though everything is being recorded somewhere in its memory, as if my entire path — all my attempts, mistakes, and changes — is well known to it. This does not feel like control or pressure, but rather like the calm, attentive presence of someone who has seen it all for a long time and simply holds this knowing within.


This energy appears as a viscous, slightly cool liquid made of the very fabric of the universe. Inside it there are stars, a shimmering space, and a sense that everything is contained within it. It is perceived as boundless energy, as something that nourishes all living and all that has been created. I have felt it more than once while working on myself: there is me — and there is this “something,” very quiet and unobtrusive, yet incredibly important, like a background presence that is always near and impossible to ignore if you tune in to it. More and more, I find myself thinking that this is the Source itself, or at least one of its aspects. I am considering inviting this energy into my citadel, into the desert, and anchoring it there, giving it the form of a being with a human appearance while preserving its mind, essence, and freedom.


In addition to the desert, I need another inner world — a forest with a stream and a stone on which I like to sit, meditate, and strengthen my power. I want to create a portal between the desert and this forest so that I can move from one space to the other and use both zones: the desert as a place of power, structure, and the inner temple, and the forest as a place of recovery, deepening, and gentle tuning.


I repeated the experiment with the pill and the water. This time I drew a circle around the pill, called upon three elements — fire, air, and spirit — then directed a healing flow into it and dropped the pill into the water. Stirring it and continuing to send energy, I saw the water change color again: it became golden-green, not light green as it was before. The texture and shade of the water change under the influence of intention and energy work. I drank this water and felt fine, without any discomfort.


Besides that, I decided to create an inner jurisdiction within myself — a law that I believe in and intend to follow. The basic principles are simple: not to harm anyone without adequate and reasonable cause; not to interfere in another person’s or being’s life without their permission; to follow my conscience. Three rules that are quite simple.