Journal I Left Writing a Book Behind

[daem8016]

It's the second day of my Novena to the Undines, which I had made and posted on Ko-Fi. The novena didn't have an actual need. It was something I had been seeing in visions for a while and decided to finally take on. After working the altar last night, I started it. This morning, I continued it. The visions came and went, but there was a notable change in my view.

Primarily, I realized that I didn't want to write my occult book anymore. More specifically, I didn't want to write it for the wrong purposes. Normally, I'd want to do it for the transmission of knowledge and understanding, but I got caught up in the survival aspect of it. It felt like this book could've been my way out of a shitty situation rather than something I'd genuinely enjoy doing. I realized that I had gotten so caught up in monetizing my craft that I risked making it superficial, something of a lie and a contrary form to what I wanted it to be in the first place.

As a result, I decided to just focus on making manuals, and maybe pull up a forum post on here with help from my friend Ome. I'll be logging my spiritual practice, helping where I can and getting help as much as I can but it's a good start

 

[daem8016]

The Undine Novena is going well. I've settled on a formula for the invocation but I've been thinking of making Novenas for the other of the four elements. Fire itself seems natural, since Candles are generally used for novenas.

The primary effect was cooling, it was like being washed clean, which might make it that the Undines are most best invoked in operations of cleansing, especially with the verse "asperges me, Domino, Hissopo et mundabor. Lavabis me, et supernivem dealbabor" or "Asperge me with Hyssop, my Lord, and I will be clean. Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow". Though Niksa was invoked in the Novena and blessed by the Lord, I would also think that Elelogap or Tharsis would fit the role of Governer of the Elements quite well on different avenues.

Despite my first idea of the Undine Novena being Ace of Cups, it turns out to be more of a Two of Cups venture. It feels like it serves to align the spirit and bring it into contact with itself, rather than create or balance water energy. The emotional impact is not lost, though I'd also say that its easy to get swept up in the emotion of the matter, especially when it comes to things like loneliness, love, melancholy and more. I believe Freud summarized melancholy as a longing not for who or the item being lost, but what it took from the person, or what was lost. With that, we might note the appearance of Mirror Like Wisdom, indicating a possible secondary ritual for healing through Water. The primary goal then is to infuse understanding and develop Mirror Like Wisdom, so as to see things as they actually are rather than what we project our past experiences on them to be.

 

[daem8016]

The fourth day of the Novena has passed. Recited the First Enochian Key alongside the Prayer of Enoch before beginning. It is the sixth day of the Novena to the Holy Death, Santisima Muerte. Reading Enochian Yoga by the Schuelers left me with some notes, especially with the addition of "I am alone in the Midst" being used in place of the common "And within me, the Six-Rayed Star"

From Frater S, if I recall the prayer correctly, is a union of the Hexagram (the Triangle of Water and Fire) alongside the Tau Light:

"Baptize us in sweet waters, purify us through holy fire and illuminate us by Divine Light"


Might make a prayer book to collect the various prayers I have found in grimoires...

 

[daem8016]

It is the 8th Day of the Novena to Abel, and the 3rd Day of the Hekateaon Rites.

Transmuting Anger
Anger is something I struggle with, not just as a martial sign, but a person overall. It is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, though it does have some traction. Energy is energy. Primarily, I distinguish between two types of anger. There is the Anger that is Divine, associated with the Left Hand of the Father, and is incarnate in figures like Samael and Jesus at the Cleansing of the Temple. This anger is born out of compassion and mercy, it is the anger of the Devas that liberate and uplift their devotees. It is, in a sense, a higher octave of Mars, maybe more like Saturn as SATOR AREPO TENET OPERA ROTAS, and the Anger of Tyche. The second type of anger is the worldly anger, which has some overlap with the celestial anger. When we rebel and retaliate at injustice, that is the overlap between Divine Anger (the Father moving to protect) and Worldly Anger (Man moving to work). It is rajasic in nature, but can be tamasic in that it causes stagnation, though it must be noted that Tamasic is like rest rather than a fully negative quality. We are sometimes required to sit with our anger, to channel it and transmute it. So, I got off my ass and decided to do something about it. I won't go into the details of what inspired yesterday's anger, but the process was as follows:

1. Acknowledge where I am (I am angry, I am angry at xyz for doing abc)
2. Acknowledge where I want to be (I want to be free, I think most spell intents come down to the desire to be free and self-actualized)
3. See the anger as a red and black smoke filling the body and aura. Focus on it, do not dispel it, do not see it as something lesser or greater. It is a reaction, it exists, it can exist to defend us.
4. Clench the body tightly to create tension and release.
5. With the exhale, see a fire burst out from the chest, transmuting the black-red into gold. This gold is to bring the lunar aspects to the solar aspects, to establish strength and rulership. You are both the ox, and the oxherd.
6. Channel the anger-bliss into something, like a project, a gem, or the Lower Dantien.
7. Bring Peace to the Heavens and the Earth, this can be done through a concluding prayer such as: "Let there be balance, and may the Heavens and the Earth be brought to the Other Side of the River".