- Joined
- Sep 27, 2021
- Messages
- 2,246
- Reaction score
- 6,314
- Awards
- 31
- Original WF Link
- http://wizardforums.com/archive/index.php?thread-1729.html
Intro
As most of you may know, body language is a type of non-verbal communication. This form of communication consists of body posture, facial expressions, eye movements and gestures.
Humans send, receive and interpret these signals entirely subconsciously.
So if you think about it.., if we would observe every person in our direct environment, we'd be able to get direct access to their state of mind.
Further more, if we would exploit this information, we could easily put people at ease during a conversation.
Emotions
In our daily lives, we experience many different kinds of emotions. By looking around you once in a while, you will realize and perhaps, experience that there are many more kinds of emotions that you probably don't even know, yet. Therefore, it is important as a social engineer to sit on the side lines and observe.
Below this sentence, you'll find a list of all positive human emotions. I want you to post a comment if there's an emotion that you haven't heard of, yet.
Comfortable
Dedicated
Enthousiastic
Glorious
Hopeful
Joyful
Pleasure
Cheerful
Relaxed
Pride
Excited
Delighted
Lively
Surprised
Satisfied
Energetic
Charmed
Below this sentence, you'll find a list of all negative human emotions. I want you to post a comment if there's an emotion that you haven't heard of, yet.
Annoyed
Anxious
Angered
Bored
Cautious
Competitive
Concerned
Confused
Depressed
Disgusted
Distracted
Doubtful
Disappointed
Exhausted
Embarassed
Frustrated
Fear
Guilty
Impatient
Indifferent
Jumpy
Lonely
Mad
Panic
Revenge
Shame
Sad
Scared
Shocked
Suspicious
Stressed
Tired
Uncomfortable
Also notice that sometimes, negative emotions might not nearly be as intense as you think. It all depends on how WE label the emotion in our heads. Some people might rather be irritated than angry, or either frustrated than disappointed.
So, as you can see, there are many different types of emotions in our daily lives. It may be a good thing if you'd look around you once in a while, then come back to this list and see how much you've experienced.
Physical expressions
Many physical expressions, such as waving, pointing or touching are all forms of nonverbal communication. People always move their bodies while communicating because it helps, as research has shown;
Quote:"ease the mental effort when communication is difficult."
As I said earlier, physical expressions explain a lot about the person who is using them. For example, gestures could easily emphasize a point or relay a message, while a posture could show signs of boredom or great interest.
Here are some of the most frequent gestures and postures in our daily lives;
Arms crossed over the chest.
This is without a doubt one of the most basic, yet powerful body language signals in human history. When someone does this, it could indicate that this person is putting up a subconscious barrier between themselves and what we would call 'reality'. This usually means that they want to be left alone for a while. If this gesture is used in an amical situation, it might mean that the person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. Yet, if the situation is rather serious, sudden or confrontational, this might mean that this person is expressing an opposition. This is especially so when said person is leaning away from us, the speakers.
Constant eye contact.
In most cases, constant eye contact means that a person is thinking positively about us, the speaker. However, it could also mean that the other person doesn't trust us enough to "take their eyes off us.". Lack of eye contact might indicate negativity as well.
Don't let this information fool you, though. People with an anxiety disorder may not be able to look at another without getting a feeling of discomfort. Therefore, eye contact is pretty much a secondary and misleading gesture. When combined with the "crossed-arms" signal, the eye contact gesture usually means that something is playing in that person's mind and that he wants to talk about it.
Scratching behind the ear.
Most of the time, this will go together by scratching their chin or averting their gaze. These signals indicate disbelief. When someone is not convinced with what we're saying, their attention will wander and their eyes will stare away for an extended period.
Tilting the head.
Tilting the head might indicate boredom, which mostly goes paired with an unfocussed gaze as well. However, a tilted head might also be the cause of a sore neck and the unfocussed eyes could easily mean that the listener has some sort of ocular problem.
Excessive blinking.
This is a well known indicator of someone who is either withholding information or lying. Studies do show us that the absence of blinking might as well indicate someone who is lying, rather than excessive blinking.
Body signal clusters
As you may have realized by now, body language comes in clusters of signals and postures, depending on the internal emotions and mental states of a person. Recognizing a whole cluster would thus far be more reliable than trying to recognize every individual element.
I'll give you guys a good head start to recognize these clusters.
Aggressive body language: A significant cluster of body movements is used to signal agression. Recognizing this one is quite useful as it is seldom a good idea to get into a fight, even for the stronger people among us.
Facial signals
A lot of agressions is always shown in the face, from disapproving frowns and pursed lips to a full snarl. The eyes might eventually stare and hold your gaze for a long period, or they'll squint, preventing theirselves from seeing where we are looking.
Attack signals
When somebody is about to attack, they mostly give some visual signs such as clenching their fists or lowering their body for an increase of speed and stability.
Exposing theirselves
Exposing oneself to attack is also one of the purest forms of agression. They are pretty much implying that they could take a hit from you any time and still win this fight. This can include things such as looking away from you, crotch displays, turning their backs, relaxing the body, and so on..
Bored body language: When a person is bored, their entire body is telling you that. So, if you are trying to persuade said person, don't even bother.
Distraction
An obviously bored person pretty much looks everywhere but at the person talking to them. A gaze shifting towards a clock or their watch is also an obvious sign of boredom.
Repetition
Bored people usually repeat certain actions such as tapping their shoes or drumming their fingers. When these actions escalate, they are usually trying to signal their boredom.
Tiredness
A person who feels unable to relieve their boredom may show signs of tiredness. They would yawn and their whole body would sag as they slouch down in their seat, lean against a wall or just sag where they are standing. Their face might also display a lack of interest and appear blank.
Deceptive body language: When a person is trying to deceive you, there are many different signs of body language they may use.
Anxiety
A deceptive person is typically anxious that they might be found out (unless they are psychopatic or very good at acting), so they may send signs of tension. This may include sweating, sudden movements, minor twitches of muscles (especially around the mouth and eyes), changes in voice tone and speed..
Many of us do have hidden anxiety signals. These could be biting your bottom lip, patting your head or even putting your hands in your pockets. These signals are impossible to stop, since we start them very young. Do keep in mind that anxiety can be caused by many other factors other than deceptiveness.
Over-control
In order to avoid being caught, there may be obvious signs over what we'd call over-control. For example, attempt friendly body language, such as smiles (mouth smiles but eyes do not.), jerky movements and or clumsiness. The person might also try to keep his body still as if he doesn't want it to send these signals. This in itself is also an obvious signal, ofcourse.
Distracted
A person who is trying to deceive needs to think more about what he or she is saying, so they may drift off or pause during their speech.
Anxiety is mostly displayed into actions such as fidgeting or shifting their vision to an unusual places.
Evaluating body language: A notable cluster of body language signals occurs when someone is judging or making a decision.
Hand movements
The classical signal of evaluation is steepled hands which are clasped together, either looking like their praying with their hands together, or with linked fingers and with only the index fingers pointing upwards. The fingers pointing upwards may also touch the lips, stroke the chin or touch another place on the face.
Relaxed intensity
The body may well be relaxed and open, seeming to be unafraid or unaware of danger. However there is also a level of concentration, perhaps with pursed lips and an intense gaze. The chin might be resting on either of the two palms.
Open body language: A significant cluster of body movements are all about being open. This is sometimes misinterpreted solely as indicating being relaxed and untense.
Arms wide open
A person's arms usually shouldn't be crossed when exposing theirselves. Their arm movements might even be synchronized with what is being said or held wide. Palms are also relaxed and usually quite expressive, for example appearing to hold something or form more detailed shapes.
Removing clothes
Removing a jacket or unbuttoning a collar are also obvious signs of open body language.
Individual facial signs
Using body language for sales
Getting body language right when selling is a tricky business. Here are some tips to help manage your non-verbals.
Open assertion
Stand openly, welcoming everyone, inquiring of their needs and showing readiness to listen.
Your body language should be clear and relaxed, without being held in or under control. It supports speech, for example in emphasizing key points, and never contradicts it. It does not include unnecessary movement which may cause confusion or betray nervousness.
Match and move
It would be good if you could largely start off by reflecting them back, for example by matching body language and using a similar verbal style, in order to create some sort of emotional/mental bond with them. Keep your body at the same level as theirs. Stand up to greet them and sit down at the same time without hesitating.
Once they have been bonded with you, you should be able to speak or move differently since they will now be following you.
Leaning in
When you lean in towards the customer, you are getting closer to them. Thus, you are creating an even closer bond between the two of you. However, there is a danger that the other person might take this as an invasion on their personal body space, so taking your time is a must.
Leaning in can be conspiratorial when the sales person lowers their voice, as if making this exclusive offer in a way that cannot be heard by their boss or other customers (who would of course snap it up immediately).
Leaning also lowers the body and is a subtle bow, showing respect and deference, hence taking the sting out of any perception of dominance.
As most of you may know, body language is a type of non-verbal communication. This form of communication consists of body posture, facial expressions, eye movements and gestures.
Humans send, receive and interpret these signals entirely subconsciously.
So if you think about it.., if we would observe every person in our direct environment, we'd be able to get direct access to their state of mind.
Further more, if we would exploit this information, we could easily put people at ease during a conversation.
Emotions
In our daily lives, we experience many different kinds of emotions. By looking around you once in a while, you will realize and perhaps, experience that there are many more kinds of emotions that you probably don't even know, yet. Therefore, it is important as a social engineer to sit on the side lines and observe.
Below this sentence, you'll find a list of all positive human emotions. I want you to post a comment if there's an emotion that you haven't heard of, yet.
Comfortable
Dedicated
Enthousiastic
Glorious
Hopeful
Joyful
Pleasure
Cheerful
Relaxed
Pride
Excited
Delighted
Lively
Surprised
Satisfied
Energetic
Charmed
Below this sentence, you'll find a list of all negative human emotions. I want you to post a comment if there's an emotion that you haven't heard of, yet.
Annoyed
Anxious
Angered
Bored
Cautious
Competitive
Concerned
Confused
Depressed
Disgusted
Distracted
Doubtful
Disappointed
Exhausted
Embarassed
Frustrated
Fear
Guilty
Impatient
Indifferent
Jumpy
Lonely
Mad
Panic
Revenge
Shame
Sad
Scared
Shocked
Suspicious
Stressed
Tired
Uncomfortable
Also notice that sometimes, negative emotions might not nearly be as intense as you think. It all depends on how WE label the emotion in our heads. Some people might rather be irritated than angry, or either frustrated than disappointed.
So, as you can see, there are many different types of emotions in our daily lives. It may be a good thing if you'd look around you once in a while, then come back to this list and see how much you've experienced.
Physical expressions
Many physical expressions, such as waving, pointing or touching are all forms of nonverbal communication. People always move their bodies while communicating because it helps, as research has shown;
Quote:"ease the mental effort when communication is difficult."
As I said earlier, physical expressions explain a lot about the person who is using them. For example, gestures could easily emphasize a point or relay a message, while a posture could show signs of boredom or great interest.
Here are some of the most frequent gestures and postures in our daily lives;
Arms crossed over the chest.
This is without a doubt one of the most basic, yet powerful body language signals in human history. When someone does this, it could indicate that this person is putting up a subconscious barrier between themselves and what we would call 'reality'. This usually means that they want to be left alone for a while. If this gesture is used in an amical situation, it might mean that the person is thinking deeply about what is being discussed. Yet, if the situation is rather serious, sudden or confrontational, this might mean that this person is expressing an opposition. This is especially so when said person is leaning away from us, the speakers.
Constant eye contact.
In most cases, constant eye contact means that a person is thinking positively about us, the speaker. However, it could also mean that the other person doesn't trust us enough to "take their eyes off us.". Lack of eye contact might indicate negativity as well.
Don't let this information fool you, though. People with an anxiety disorder may not be able to look at another without getting a feeling of discomfort. Therefore, eye contact is pretty much a secondary and misleading gesture. When combined with the "crossed-arms" signal, the eye contact gesture usually means that something is playing in that person's mind and that he wants to talk about it.
Scratching behind the ear.
Most of the time, this will go together by scratching their chin or averting their gaze. These signals indicate disbelief. When someone is not convinced with what we're saying, their attention will wander and their eyes will stare away for an extended period.
Tilting the head.
Tilting the head might indicate boredom, which mostly goes paired with an unfocussed gaze as well. However, a tilted head might also be the cause of a sore neck and the unfocussed eyes could easily mean that the listener has some sort of ocular problem.
Excessive blinking.
This is a well known indicator of someone who is either withholding information or lying. Studies do show us that the absence of blinking might as well indicate someone who is lying, rather than excessive blinking.
Body signal clusters
As you may have realized by now, body language comes in clusters of signals and postures, depending on the internal emotions and mental states of a person. Recognizing a whole cluster would thus far be more reliable than trying to recognize every individual element.
I'll give you guys a good head start to recognize these clusters.
Aggressive body language: A significant cluster of body movements is used to signal agression. Recognizing this one is quite useful as it is seldom a good idea to get into a fight, even for the stronger people among us.
Facial signals
A lot of agressions is always shown in the face, from disapproving frowns and pursed lips to a full snarl. The eyes might eventually stare and hold your gaze for a long period, or they'll squint, preventing theirselves from seeing where we are looking.
Attack signals
When somebody is about to attack, they mostly give some visual signs such as clenching their fists or lowering their body for an increase of speed and stability.
Exposing theirselves
Exposing oneself to attack is also one of the purest forms of agression. They are pretty much implying that they could take a hit from you any time and still win this fight. This can include things such as looking away from you, crotch displays, turning their backs, relaxing the body, and so on..
Bored body language: When a person is bored, their entire body is telling you that. So, if you are trying to persuade said person, don't even bother.
Distraction
An obviously bored person pretty much looks everywhere but at the person talking to them. A gaze shifting towards a clock or their watch is also an obvious sign of boredom.
Repetition
Bored people usually repeat certain actions such as tapping their shoes or drumming their fingers. When these actions escalate, they are usually trying to signal their boredom.
Tiredness
A person who feels unable to relieve their boredom may show signs of tiredness. They would yawn and their whole body would sag as they slouch down in their seat, lean against a wall or just sag where they are standing. Their face might also display a lack of interest and appear blank.
Deceptive body language: When a person is trying to deceive you, there are many different signs of body language they may use.
Anxiety
A deceptive person is typically anxious that they might be found out (unless they are psychopatic or very good at acting), so they may send signs of tension. This may include sweating, sudden movements, minor twitches of muscles (especially around the mouth and eyes), changes in voice tone and speed..
Many of us do have hidden anxiety signals. These could be biting your bottom lip, patting your head or even putting your hands in your pockets. These signals are impossible to stop, since we start them very young. Do keep in mind that anxiety can be caused by many other factors other than deceptiveness.
Over-control
In order to avoid being caught, there may be obvious signs over what we'd call over-control. For example, attempt friendly body language, such as smiles (mouth smiles but eyes do not.), jerky movements and or clumsiness. The person might also try to keep his body still as if he doesn't want it to send these signals. This in itself is also an obvious signal, ofcourse.
Distracted
A person who is trying to deceive needs to think more about what he or she is saying, so they may drift off or pause during their speech.
Anxiety is mostly displayed into actions such as fidgeting or shifting their vision to an unusual places.
Evaluating body language: A notable cluster of body language signals occurs when someone is judging or making a decision.
Hand movements
The classical signal of evaluation is steepled hands which are clasped together, either looking like their praying with their hands together, or with linked fingers and with only the index fingers pointing upwards. The fingers pointing upwards may also touch the lips, stroke the chin or touch another place on the face.
Relaxed intensity
The body may well be relaxed and open, seeming to be unafraid or unaware of danger. However there is also a level of concentration, perhaps with pursed lips and an intense gaze. The chin might be resting on either of the two palms.
Open body language: A significant cluster of body movements are all about being open. This is sometimes misinterpreted solely as indicating being relaxed and untense.
Arms wide open
A person's arms usually shouldn't be crossed when exposing theirselves. Their arm movements might even be synchronized with what is being said or held wide. Palms are also relaxed and usually quite expressive, for example appearing to hold something or form more detailed shapes.
Removing clothes
Removing a jacket or unbuttoning a collar are also obvious signs of open body language.
Individual facial signs
Using body language for sales
Getting body language right when selling is a tricky business. Here are some tips to help manage your non-verbals.
Open assertion
Stand openly, welcoming everyone, inquiring of their needs and showing readiness to listen.
Your body language should be clear and relaxed, without being held in or under control. It supports speech, for example in emphasizing key points, and never contradicts it. It does not include unnecessary movement which may cause confusion or betray nervousness.
Match and move
It would be good if you could largely start off by reflecting them back, for example by matching body language and using a similar verbal style, in order to create some sort of emotional/mental bond with them. Keep your body at the same level as theirs. Stand up to greet them and sit down at the same time without hesitating.
Once they have been bonded with you, you should be able to speak or move differently since they will now be following you.
Leaning in
When you lean in towards the customer, you are getting closer to them. Thus, you are creating an even closer bond between the two of you. However, there is a danger that the other person might take this as an invasion on their personal body space, so taking your time is a must.
Leaning in can be conspiratorial when the sales person lowers their voice, as if making this exclusive offer in a way that cannot be heard by their boss or other customers (who would of course snap it up immediately).
Leaning also lowers the body and is a subtle bow, showing respect and deference, hence taking the sting out of any perception of dominance.
