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Some shadow work done: my therapist told that often a long freak out where someone has a panick attack for 30 to 45 minutes usually points to a negative core belief about one's self. Often its not even one we consiously are aware of or even agree with its an emotional belief often forming when we were young or during traumatic moments. And that it usually creates a cycle of other self hate thoughts. You tackle the main thought and work on that belief it can make such things more managable.
Yesterday I had a panick attack for around that length of time which was why she told me that. I been having those a lot lately again for long periods of time. I was analyzing this today doing shadow work. I wrote some thoughts down today that went on in my mind during said panick attack that happened yesterday.
I then began to look for clues as to what the core belief was that was causing such a strong reaction. I think it is this: I am a bad person because I'm not perfect and I need to be.
I know this isn't true. I acknowledge that emotions aren't logical. And I think this belief comes from a lot of things. I have a lot of trauma in my past.That's likely what triggering this.
So I'm now working on a plan to deal with said core belief. I'll likely create a ritual for it. Or just sit a prayer. For now I offer myself this grace:
I am not a bad person. I've made mistakes. I do not have to be perfect. I can be happy and I deserve a good life.
An idea: imma start sitting 30 minutes a day meditating on my emotions. A problem my therapist and I been working on is trying to recognize emotions. Well. I been meaning to work on meditating more often. I have a very chaotic year coming ahead of me trying to leave the country, greive the US and accept that I need to leave. I'll have a xhaotic time doing homework trying to get my degree and juggling all the stress of trying to get ready fir a new culture among other things.
So. It's a perfect time to create a habit of recognizing and accepting my emotions. Taking a moment to breathe and focus on them.
Yesterday I had a panick attack for around that length of time which was why she told me that. I been having those a lot lately again for long periods of time. I was analyzing this today doing shadow work. I wrote some thoughts down today that went on in my mind during said panick attack that happened yesterday.
I then began to look for clues as to what the core belief was that was causing such a strong reaction. I think it is this: I am a bad person because I'm not perfect and I need to be.
I know this isn't true. I acknowledge that emotions aren't logical. And I think this belief comes from a lot of things. I have a lot of trauma in my past.That's likely what triggering this.
So I'm now working on a plan to deal with said core belief. I'll likely create a ritual for it. Or just sit a prayer. For now I offer myself this grace:
I am not a bad person. I've made mistakes. I do not have to be perfect. I can be happy and I deserve a good life.
Post automatically merged:
An idea: imma start sitting 30 minutes a day meditating on my emotions. A problem my therapist and I been working on is trying to recognize emotions. Well. I been meaning to work on meditating more often. I have a very chaotic year coming ahead of me trying to leave the country, greive the US and accept that I need to leave. I'll have a xhaotic time doing homework trying to get my degree and juggling all the stress of trying to get ready fir a new culture among other things.
So. It's a perfect time to create a habit of recognizing and accepting my emotions. Taking a moment to breathe and focus on them.
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