- Joined
- Dec 11, 2024
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Right now I'm emotionally empty. The past few months have been rough and I been numb for a few weeks now. I thought my emotional state could not get any lower. But last Thursday something very traumatic happened to me I will not go into detail here. My mood went from numb to feeling like my emotions been shot repeatedly and buried.
Today I'm surprised I have any emotional stamina left. I been fighting my emotions on and off been afraid of falling apart because i feel the world will end if i do. Today I cried and allowed myself to fall apart. The world didn't end. I feel much more lighter. I can fail. I don't have to be perfect. I don't need to constantly have to keep going without stopping. I can just feel. I'm ok. Crying I started to feel like it was healing the holes.
And now I am starting to realize just how strong I am. How even with how low i been emotionally I still bounce quickly. I still can shoulder the emotional loads of my students and my coworkers when needed. I can still joke with friends after tending to my own emotions. Smile when a kid invites me to their football practice(that happened today I said I couldn't go because I don't know the parents too well and I'm not his main teacher at the daycare just a teacher that has been in his classroom a lot lately).
It's amazing what acknowledging your emotions can do and how much a simple cry can help. Magickal.
I offer a prayer to the gods...please grant me strength. And let me remember it's ok to feel.
Today I'm surprised I have any emotional stamina left. I been fighting my emotions on and off been afraid of falling apart because i feel the world will end if i do. Today I cried and allowed myself to fall apart. The world didn't end. I feel much more lighter. I can fail. I don't have to be perfect. I don't need to constantly have to keep going without stopping. I can just feel. I'm ok. Crying I started to feel like it was healing the holes.
And now I am starting to realize just how strong I am. How even with how low i been emotionally I still bounce quickly. I still can shoulder the emotional loads of my students and my coworkers when needed. I can still joke with friends after tending to my own emotions. Smile when a kid invites me to their football practice(that happened today I said I couldn't go because I don't know the parents too well and I'm not his main teacher at the daycare just a teacher that has been in his classroom a lot lately).
It's amazing what acknowledging your emotions can do and how much a simple cry can help. Magickal.
I offer a prayer to the gods...please grant me strength. And let me remember it's ok to feel.
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