[Help] Why is love spells so frowned upon?

[Astralwitch]

Just wondering everyones opinion.
It seems like out of all the spells one can do, love spells are among the most controversial and always big warnings.
Do people have any experiences to share good/bad?

 

[Aeternus]

Love spells are often frowned upon due to the fact that people often use them in non-ethical ways (i.e.: forcing up the breaking of a couple by injecting lust for the practicioner in the person the practicioner desires).

It is reasonable that Love spells have big warnings plastered on them as they literally affect the field of attachment (spiritual and psycho-social) and if used unethically, like I have explained below, can lead to a lot of screw-ups.

 

[dzb10035]

In reality, there are 2 types of love spells that you have to consider for this. One is frowned upon and heavily discouraged, while the other type is totally legit and carries far less risk of blowback:

1. Coercive Love Spells - These are the big ones that people always advise against doing. The root of these love spells, whether used for attraction or breaking someone up, is always based on overriding the free will of another person. In magical ethics, you are basically in the black magick category by most people's standards, right up there with curses, hexing, etc. With these types of love spells, you are forcing something to happen unnaturally without someone's consent, which leads to both individual and collective upheaval for those involved. It's debatable if the blowback people receive from these is related to "karma", but at the very least you are forcing someone to fight against their own will with these types of lovespells. If it doesn't work, their psychic resistance could bounce back on you in several ways and if it does work, then you have just done something that is considered "bad" or malicious by most modern standards. This usually comes with its own set of consequences which can manifest as blowback.

2. Non-conercive love spells - These spells are usually to manifest a willing partner or situation into your life. These do not involve targeting specific individuals and usually just aim to increase your chances of encountering the type of love you want in life. In my experience, these ones usually manifest people who WANT to be in your life or are at least willing to go through an experience with you. In this case, you are not going into the realms of "black magick" or violating the usual ethical norms. You are just simply asking the universe to throw you a bone, which carries the usual risks that all magick carries; namely that of disruption and change. You could manifest someone who is both GOOD for your life and someone who you WANT or you could manifest someone who is harmful to you, but whom you desire. In this case, it is up to you, as with any other magical work, to narrow down your intention and choose the best magick for the situation.


Coercive love spells usually attract all the flak for being the type of magick you want to avoid and for many reasons, some based on personal experience, I tend to agree. Trying to violate someone else's free will is usually considered a tough thing to do and is in the realm of advanced magical work. It requires careful thought, analysis, and personalised magick to make it happen properly. Others have presented me with different thoughts about this coercive vs non-coercive argument, but my experiences inform me around these conclusions. You can generalise this into other areas too and use this as a framework. In my experience, it is far easier to use magick to attract things into your life without needing to override the agency of others. There are situations where you need to reverse this paradigm of course, but I believe it is always easier to use this as a rule of thumb.

 

[ihateclowns]

Just wondering everyones opinion.
It seems like out of all the spells one can do, love spells are among the most controversial and always big warnings.
Do people have any experiences to share good/bad?

It is all matter of personal preference and to what extent people are willing to go, for someone using servitors to get a date or laid itself is unethical while for others itsn't, some people have done worse some women hex their lovers so that they fail miserably during sex which affects the guys' self-esteem (a form of this is pretty common in some cultures so that women can prevent other women from stealing their husbands, some still do), and some have messed around with people's sexual preference.

All these people think there won't be consequences for magick sadly there are and they will get their dues in time. That is why focusing on oneself to improve in all areas with one area at a time so that you can hit it off with the right person is far better and could be something like an adventure and is worth the effort.

 

[Astralwitch]

In reality, there are 2 types of love spells that you have to consider for this. One is frowned upon and heavily discouraged, while the other type is totally legit and carries far less risk of blowback:

1. Coercive Love Spells - These are the big ones that people always advise against doing. The root of these love spells, whether used for attraction or breaking someone up, is always based on overriding the free will of another person. In magical ethics, you are basically in the black magick category by most people's standards, right up there with curses, hexing, etc. With these types of love spells, you are forcing something to happen unnaturally without someone's consent, which leads to both individual and collective upheaval for those involved. It's debatable if the blowback people receive from these is related to "karma", but at the very least you are forcing someone to fight against their own will with these types of lovespells. If it doesn't work, their psychic resistance could bounce back on you in several ways and if it does work, then you have just done something that is considered "bad" or malicious by most modern standards. This usually comes with its own set of consequences which can manifest as blowback.

2. Non-conercive love spells - These spells are usually to manifest a willing partner or situation into your life. These do not involve targeting specific individuals and usually just aim to increase your chances of encountering the type of love you want in life. In my experience, these ones usually manifest people who WANT to be in your life or are at least willing to go through an experience with you. In this case, you are not going into the realms of "black magick" or violating the usual ethical norms. You are just simply asking the universe to throw you a bone, which carries the usual risks that all magick carries; namely that of disruption and change. You could manifest someone who is both GOOD for your life and someone who you WANT or you could manifest someone who is harmful to you, but whom you desire. In this case, it is up to you, as with any other magical work, to narrow down your intention and choose the best magick for the situation.


Coercive love spells usually attract all the flak for being the type of magick you want to avoid and for many reasons, some based on personal experience, I tend to agree. Trying to violate someone else's free will is usually considered a tough thing to do and is in the realm of advanced magical work. It requires careful thought, analysis, and personalised magick to make it happen properly. Others have presented me with different thoughts about this coercive vs non-coercive argument, but my experiences inform me around these conclusions. You can generalise this into other areas too and use this as a framework. In my experience, it is far easier to use magick to attract things into your life without needing to override the agency of others. There are situations where you need to reverse this paradigm of course, but I believe it is always easier to use this as a rule of thumb.

Coercive love spells are a form of black magick that is interesting I never thought of it like that but makes sense now.
Reason I wanted to know about them is because I follow some practioners on social media and one of them calls herself a love witch and doesn’t believe in the rule of 3 or any Wiccan laws she believes as long as you protect yourself with protection magick you can do any kind of spell just wasn’t sure what the general view was on it.

 

[Astralwitch]

It is all matter of personal preference and to what extent people are willing to go, for someone using servitors to get a date or laid itself is unethical while for others itsn't, some people have done worse some women hex their lovers so that they fail miserably during sex which affects the guys' self-esteem (a form of this is pretty common in some cultures so that women can prevent other women from stealing their husbands, some still do), and some have messed around with people's sexual preference.

All these people think there won't be consequences for magick sadly there are and they will get their dues in time. That is why focusing on oneself to improve in all areas with one area at a time so that you can hit it off with the right person is far better and could be something like an adventure and is worth the effort.

Hexing their lovers so they are bad at sex is wild what cultures do this?

 

[lucidum71]

Porque toca varios puntos. Primero, tendríamos que definir qué es el libre albedrío y si realmente lo poseemos, o si estamos constantemente condicionados por factores externos e internos que nos llevan a elegir una cosa u otra. Cuando practicamos magia, alteramos la realidad, y siempre habrá una pérdida: por ejemplo, si realizamos un simple hechizo de buena suerte y encontramos dinero en la calle, alguien lo perdió primero. Alterar la realidad implica manipular situaciones y personas para lograr un resultado específico.
Por otro lado, no creo en el "karma", ya que no pertenece a la tradición mágica. Nadie habló de karma en el PGM.
Creo que existe una actitud moralista e hipócrita en torno a la magia del amor y la magia de la destrucción. Cada quien es libre de tener la guía moral que desee, pero la magia en sí misma es amoral, al igual que los espíritus. Por ejemplo, jamás dañaría a un animal no humano, pero no tengo ningún problema en realizar cualquier tipo de trabajo destructivo. Y ese es MI código moral.
Finally, the term "love spell," when it is coercive, should not be called that, because they are spells of Obsession, and sooner or later the relationship will become toxic because no entity can create real love. But this has nothing to do with the nature of magic.

 

[Nembra]

Just wondering everyones opinion.
It seems like out of all the spells one can do, love spells are among the most controversial and always big warnings.
Do people have any experiences to share good/bad?

It's not just love spells. It's any spells that consciously attempt to subjugate someone else's will, love is just the most popular.

It's mostly because it's just, you know, quite an evil thing to do and usually spoils the love on your side sooner or later.

 

[Hund]

Just wondering everyones opinion.
It seems like out of all the spells one can do, love spells are among the most controversial and always big warnings.
Do people have any experiences to share good/bad?

I don't think there is such a thing as illegal or inherently bad magic.

But that comes with a big BUT.

Love magic can have very bad consequences for you depending on who you use it on and how you approach it. Not everyone processes or understands emotions in the same way.

I'll give an example from something that happened to me about 6 years ago. I did a working to make someone think about me constantly. Of course, forcing a feeling to exist out of nowhere, and making her think about things she normally wouldn't, changed her behavior quite a lot. She started becoming the kind of person who would even question me about leaving the house, and I eventually had to cut it off.

But if I had done the same thing to someone who was naturally more romantic, the outcome would have been much more favorable for me.

At the same time, if I had first done something to gradually warm her up to the feeling, introduce her to it, and make her feel drawn to me rather than love if i used closeness, familiarness, I think that could have produced a very good result as well.

Choosing the right tool is extremely important in all forms of magic, including love magic.

 

[ihateclowns]

Hexing their lovers so they are bad at sex is wild what cultures do this?

If some form of folk magic or witch magic is there then there is bound to be some form of that magic, one could speculate hexes and love/lust were probably the earliest forms of magick because humans can't be happy for others and want what others have or keep things which no one else have especially women as they more prone to jealousy than men especially with lovers/partners. Also not everything is captured in grimoires or books some are passed down through women over generations.

But if you want some names you can look at Mexican, African and some places in India, the movie Love Witch is a good case in point and also the new movie Obsession which caused quite a stir.

A friend told me how her aunt (from India) used to dry her sexual fluids and used in tea to keep her husband not to stray and also to make him dance to her tunes my friend said it seemed like it worked. She isn't aware if her aunt used some other things as well.

 

[Magicjay82]

There are many kinds of love spells but the kind that tend to anger people are the ones designed to force someone to love you who doesn't . It's pretty obviously unethical. IMO it's far better and easier to attract a suitable partner into your life.

 

[r4zorenigma]

Love is a powerful and complex force that influences many aspects of emotions and a persons life which makes love spells difficult to control. It's thus preferable to utilize attraction spells or spells that encourage communication, affection and desire without overwhelming the individual.

However, even attraction spells can also produce overly intense emotions or overthinking, overanalyzing interactions, and can make an individual overly sensitive-- which can lead to magnifying minor disappointments into major events, create resentment, etc.

Because relationships between people , whether friendly or otherwise operate through a ying and yang dynamic, when things go array, it can create a strong emotional rebound--- which can cause you to then become obsessed with the person or cause you to develop stronger emotions towards that person.. as they pull back or turn their attention away.

 

[Frater M.M.]

IMO it's far better and easier to attract a suitable partner into your life.

Yeah, that's my take it on it as well. It's way less hassle to just get your life in order and find someone into you than endlessly keep doing magic to make someone unwilling stay in your life.

 

[Astralwitch]

I don't think there is such a thing as illegal or inherently bad magic.

But that comes with a big BUT.

Love magic can have very bad consequences for you depending on who you use it on and how you approach it. Not everyone processes or understands emotions in the same way.

I'll give an example from something that happened to me about 6 years ago. I did a working to make someone think about me constantly. Of course, forcing a feeling to exist out of nowhere, and making her think about things she normally wouldn't, changed her behavior quite a lot. She started becoming the kind of person who would even question me about leaving the house, and I eventually had to cut it off.

But if I had done the same thing to someone who was naturally more romantic, the outcome would have been much more favorable for me.

At the same time, if I had first done something to gradually warm her up to the feeling, introduce her to it, and make her feel drawn to me rather than love if i used closeness, familiarness, I think that could have produced a very good result as well.

Choosing the right tool is extremely important in all forms of magic, including love magic.

What happened when you cut it off? Did you need to perform a spell to undo it?
That is interesting so the love spell works in ways that can make someone dangerous as well. If a person is for example naturally a controlling person the love spell could make them paranoid at what you are doing at all times and more controlling to the point of stalking etc.

 

[LionheartG]

Mastering Love Magic is no easy feat.
There are Westernized viewpoints and non-Westernized viewpoints of Love magic, and also debating this topic requires a good understanding of history, human psychology and social norms.

First we must understand this idea of love and romance, is still a fairly modern notion. In old the days, there was no such thing.

In antiquity and in the European medieval period, marriage was primarily a property arrangement, a political alliance, or a matter of dynastic survival, not a union based on affection. The medieval marriage ceremony itself was largely a secular contract performed at the church door to secure dower rights, with the religious blessing as a secondary addition.

Love magic during those times existed precisely because people could not simply choose their partners based on feelings. It was a tool to manufacture or control desire when social structures prevented it from arising naturally.
Many love spells today reflect this, old timey world view and this will change with the times, since now romance is part of the picture. Magic is ever changing. So the social fear you see often displayed when it comes to love magic, is rather ancient honestly.

In ancient Greece for example, archaeological evidence of love spells reveals a stark gender divide:

• Men primarily used aggressive eros spells to inflict "fiery and maddening passion" on unwilling women until they surrendered sexually. These spells invoked the dead and threatened the victim with fever, sleeplessness, and torment.
• Women typically used gentler philia spells to "sedate angry or philandering husbands" and make them more affectionate and subordinate within an existing relationship

The Louvre Doll is one of the most famous surviving examples of Western ancient erotic magic.

"This object is a perfect go-to example in scholarship on ancient love magic because it so starkly illustrates the asymmetry of desire in the ancient Western world"

Interestingly, the modern framing of love as the supreme source of meaning in our social relations today has not eliminated love magic, it has transformed the ideology behind it. Contemporary love magic in internet forums and healing practices is less about economic survival now and more about "the sociocultural imperative of experiencing powerful romantic feelings". It persists as a response to helplessness or complicated emotions, offering ritual to resolve the unresolvable or the difficult.

The violent reaction to love magic, then and now, is ultimately a reaction to the precariousness of love itself, the fear of being overwhelmed, controlled, or abandoned by a force that feels beyond reason.

Love magic across the world does share striking structural similarities, even though the specific ingredients, spirits, and cultural framings vary enormously. A global perspective reveals that the Greek eros/philia distinction is just one local expression of a much broader pattern.

Love magic is simply in it's evolutionary phase, now that romance has become a more modern notion.

 

[Dyn Hysbys]

What a lot of these posts ignore is the basic principle of autonomy.
Fuck with another's autonomy, and you deserve whatever blowback you get.
Also, repeatedly trying to 'win over' someone who isn't into you is the definition of madness AND stupidity; repeating an action that's doomed to failure etc.
Magicians should have more self respect than that, and better self awareness as well as respect for others.

 

[Asteriskos]

You've gotten the usual plethora of Good Advice in response to your question!
One other reason that I can think of is that many if not "most" practitioners of a "reasonably adept" level don't "conjure" unless it's pretty damn necessary, that is to say "mundane" avenues aren't enough to get the job done. This includes magicians of the level of Peter Carrol (RIP) and other high profile magicians, et al, as well as other, "reasonably adept" magicians, witches, wizards, sorcerers and sorceresses that I personally know. I have never personally met another practitioner that has ever admitted needing to use Magic to find Love or Lust. Never! Besides even if you become "adept" enough to do so, who would want to be with someone they needed to compel? So... that's reason enough to frown upon it by those I know!

If being clean, well groomed, and "tolerably personable" in their exoteric life isn't enough to eventually land someone in the sack, or married, "then" you might consider "conjuring" to "attract" Love or Lust, which are not synonymous.

 

[mmertens]

There is that thing about how anything you do to change someone else's mind is violence, writing being more violent than speaking because it is more permanent

 

[Tryp]

Coercive love spells are a form of black magick that is interesting I never thought of it like that but makes sense now.
Reason I wanted to know about them is because I follow some practioners on social media and one of them calls herself a love witch and doesn’t believe in the rule of 3 or any Wiccan laws she believes as long as you protect yourself with protection magick you can do any kind of spell just wasn’t sure what the general view was on it.

In a slight tangent, as a rule of thumb be wary of social media practitioners (pun intended), especially the ones telling you what you can do or not. They may be more interested in selling themselves and their "content" than in providing sound advice.

Consider what you mentioned they said - "as long as you protect yourself with protection magick you can do any kind of spell". This implies that you can easily evade the consequences of your actions, which is utterly false.

Not much to add to what others have aptly pointed out. Just keep in mind that attracting love or lust through conjuration will work, but as always it will also depend on what your actions contribute to it. Things will manifest in the context where you operate; if you want to find something tangible, you need to bring yourself to the places where that can happen.

 

[Hund]

What happened when you cut it off? Did you need to perform a spell to undo it?
That is interesting so the love spell works in ways that can make someone dangerous as well. If a person is for example naturally a controlling person the love spell could make them paranoid at what you are doing at all times and more controlling to the point of stalking etc.

i just stopped my communication with her, I changed my social circle and other things as well, so she couldn't keep track of me anymore, and that was the end of it. I don't know how she's doing now, but since I was no longer around or within her reach, and wasn't there as a trigger, she probably just went on with her life as before.