[Help] Telepathy between occultists or just schizophrenia?

[Konvent]

So I've had 5 instances of psychosis in my life. Last one happened very recently and throughout it felt like talking with other occultists in the area but it was getting too much for me so I went to a doctor and got meds which silenced their voices (besides friends there were attackers of religious kind). It wasn't just in this last instance but in earlier psychotic episodes the same theme was present, that I was communicating with others that had their telepathy abilities sharpened.

Was all this just a delusion? It throws me off because I can't imagine how my mind was generating those voices that sounded like totally different people with their own mental content and trying to push their magick on me.

Is this like the first step in being psychic? Hearing others' thoughts about you and especially communicating with other occultists?
Will I be able to hone this skill once I come off meds and am better able to keep attackers at bay?

 

[Lemongrass00]

It’s just schizophrenia

 

[IllusiveOwl]

If they were hitting you up in the Ether, it would have been to like, meetup and get coffee or something, it would have been purposeful and not crazy-making.

People are able to unconsciously generate voices in their heads, that's Schizophrenia. If you have that, sorry your life is going to be very difficult, but it's a unique opportunity most of us will never get to exoerience. You should do research into the disorder first, then look into what Jung wrote about it because his insights were telling. Psychotics and mystics swim in the same waters, you just naturally get there where a mystic trains for years... your advantage is also a curse, because it means you're unprepared and more likely to drown.

Maybe you're picking up things we can't, maybe your brain isn't filtering things the rest of our flouride-brains do, maybe it's a non-spooky disorder, who knows. Regardless, you need to discipline yourself in action: if you're unsure about something, stop. If you're doing something dangerous and unnecessary, stop and think it over. Never let anyone or anything (voice or person) pressure you to do something you don't want to do.

If you're interested in having psychic abilities, you first need to be grounded, that ought to be your chief concern, given your history of psychosis. Losing control is unacceptable and you shouldn't consider anything magical until you have complete control over yourself and impulses.

 

[Konvent]

Thing is when this last episode was closing in on an ending, I saw face of Azazel quite clearly, smiling at me.
I made an offering to Azazel by giving him the egregore I created while working on the largest telco company of the country, that encompassed all servers and dealings of the company -- charged with my good daily work and sweat there and held together with my personal sigils, when I quit the job I sent it his way. This was quite a few years ago so I think it took some time for him to respond.

Now I really think I'm in good standings with Azazel, I'll try to contact him again for further workings if only I figure out how to actually perform proper rituals within my living conditions.

Post automatically merged: Sep 29, 2024

Hail Azazel!

 

[spicebear]

So I've had 5 instances of psychosis in my life. Last one happened very recently and throughout it felt like talking with other occultists in the area but it was getting too much for me so I went to a doctor and got meds which silenced their voices (besides friends there were attackers of religious kind). It wasn't just in this last instance but in earlier psychotic episodes the same theme was present, that I was communicating with others that had their telepathy abilities sharpened.

Was all this just a delusion? It throws me off because I can't imagine how my mind was generating those voices that sounded like totally different people with their own mental content and trying to push their magick on me.

Is this like the first step in being psychic? Hearing others' thoughts about you and especially communicating with other occultists?
Will I be able to hone this skill once I come off meds and am better able to keep attackers at bay?

Look into Jerry Marzinsky. I recommend starting with his interviews. He talks about schizophrenia and the role demons play in it. I don't fully trust him, but I do believe he's right, overall.

Look for this BBiocharisma episode on any podcast app for ease of listening:

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[Pseudodracon]

So I've had 5 instances of psychosis in my life. Last one happened very recently and throughout it felt like talking with other occultists in the area but it was getting too much for me so I went to a doctor and got meds which silenced their voices (besides friends there were attackers of religious kind). It wasn't just in this last instance but in earlier psychotic episodes the same theme was present, that I was communicating with others that had their telepathy abilities sharpened.

Was all this just a delusion? It throws me off because I can't imagine how my mind was generating those voices that sounded like totally different people with their own mental content and trying to push their magick on me.

Is this like the first step in being psychic? Hearing others' thoughts about you and especially communicating with other occultists?
Will I be able to hone this skill once I come off meds and am better able to keep attackers at bay?

Hi, I hope this finds you in a better place.

You might find it useful to read R.D. Laing's work (The Divided Self, Sanity Madness and the Family). His writing is a little dense though. I know this reply doesn't directly correlate to your original post, but his perspective might provide a different viewpoint than what you might be/have been experiencing. He was a British psychiatrist who takes an insightful view of schizophrenia - an outsider and rebel of his world in that time.