- Joined
- May 14, 2026
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Hi. I'm new here.
Hello everyone!
I have a question maybe someone can help me with.
I started my adventure with occult 10 years ago and I got scared.
There was a figure appearing of a middle-aged woman (don't know her), authoritarian, telling me "it's not your way", "you're a simple man", treating me like a teacher treats a small child. She was forcing me to stay at a horrible job I had back then and embrace suffering. For her it was "beautiful".
It made me very angry.
She was definitely connected to color blue and had an association with "Heavenly Mother" while Satan appeared as a father figure, challenging me, pushing for growth, testing. Satan was also connected to color red (i suppose fire, willpower, action, passion). And thanks to Him I found a new job which turned my life upside down (in a good way).
Last year I had a vivid dream in which I was in an medieval gothic church and there was a portal. On one side was a fresco of Mary, dressed in blue, on right there was sitting a little bird, a tit.
When some time after I travelled to visit my parents I stumbled at the airport on a dead tit bird. I knew it meant something and I got chills. This was a time I struggled with Satanism. While staying at my childhood house I performed some rituals and reconnected with the Infernal.
I keep wondering who this woman figure can be? She appears as overprotective mother.
At the first encounter with occult she tried to push me towards christian gnosticism. When I tried to be a catholic again (what a naïve idea...) and went to local church I immediately met a middle aged woman (real person) who started to talk to me intensively. It was uncomfortable.
Is it my projection or there could be a being behind it?
Would appreciate your thoughts!
Hail Satan! ⛧⸸
Hail Asmodeus!
Hello everyone!
I have a question maybe someone can help me with.
I started my adventure with occult 10 years ago and I got scared.
There was a figure appearing of a middle-aged woman (don't know her), authoritarian, telling me "it's not your way", "you're a simple man", treating me like a teacher treats a small child. She was forcing me to stay at a horrible job I had back then and embrace suffering. For her it was "beautiful".
It made me very angry.
She was definitely connected to color blue and had an association with "Heavenly Mother" while Satan appeared as a father figure, challenging me, pushing for growth, testing. Satan was also connected to color red (i suppose fire, willpower, action, passion). And thanks to Him I found a new job which turned my life upside down (in a good way).
Last year I had a vivid dream in which I was in an medieval gothic church and there was a portal. On one side was a fresco of Mary, dressed in blue, on right there was sitting a little bird, a tit.
When some time after I travelled to visit my parents I stumbled at the airport on a dead tit bird. I knew it meant something and I got chills. This was a time I struggled with Satanism. While staying at my childhood house I performed some rituals and reconnected with the Infernal.
I keep wondering who this woman figure can be? She appears as overprotective mother.
At the first encounter with occult she tried to push me towards christian gnosticism. When I tried to be a catholic again (what a naïve idea...) and went to local church I immediately met a middle aged woman (real person) who started to talk to me intensively. It was uncomfortable.
Is it my projection or there could be a being behind it?
Would appreciate your thoughts!
Hail Satan! ⛧⸸
Hail Asmodeus!