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With all respect: I am curious, what made you expected here on WF that there is a lot more discussion about familiars? There are occultists with familiars, but many many more without. The peeps here are so different from each other that it is almost a wonder that there is so much shared ground.
There is a familiar in my life, but it is a private thing. Just like my relation with my husband, things between him and me are private.
IDk, it's what defines a Witch in popular culture? A cat, or something? I'm rather new to all this, I just made assumptions. She didn't know any different either, I guess She wanted connection too? While She is all I have, perhaps I am all She has too? Just speculation on my part. More likely, She has more than I, She told me to join here. See, I just changed my sig, b4 your post.
Well, I'm getting really sore from lying down from the flu and fever the whole day, so let's climb out of bed for a decent answer about familiars and a little bit about what I observed here on the forum. I will not talking about my personal familiar. It is, as been said, a private thing.
First the forum, there are to my knowing only a few active witches here on WF. So there is not so much talk directly about witchcraft. There a non-witch occultists who have a familiar in their life, outside witchcraft however it is a little less common. Occultists can call demons and ask them to provide a good familiar. I don't know if that is a route worth while. Others probably can tell much more about this process, so I keep my mouth shut about that. Regarding to be present in the online community I lived under a stone for the last, let's say, 25 years. It's quite possible that on witchcraft forums there is more talk about the familiar. And regarding to defining witchcraft: most witches tend to self identify. That makes it terribly difficult to define what witchcraft it. I have engaged in discussions IRL about that, spend talking all night long on a camp fire (and in living rooms too) with the only conclusion that it is almost impossible to define witchcraft, that some witches intertwine neo-pagan religion in their praxis, that some only do spells, that some develop a complete own form of myths and stories to work with and others are secular and very local. I am in the last 'group'. With apostrophe, because there is no real group. That makes it hard to use the existence of a familiar as a proof of being a witch. It is interesting to mention that Owen Davies points out the regional nature of the familiar, since there are almost no mentions in the region of Wales, and few in northern England. The belief is strongest in East Anglia. Here in there Netherlands there were some witches with familiars. I left the scene about 18 years ago so I don't know if there are any now.
So I am a witch and will only talk about the witch side of the story, it is better not to talk about the things I am not specialized in. Over thirty years of witchcraft I have talked with quite a few witches IRL and yes we talked about familiars too. And we discussed it deeply. And that is nothing like what you can read on blogs, online articles or books. First of all to take away all the confuse: not every witch has a familiar in his or hers life. I have met peeps with and peeps without, both were fine on their path. I will give you some insights of the things we talked about in those IRL conversations. I can't share everything, some things are to private. In the above reaction, I was a little bit hars, but sometime I use that as a litmus proof to see where a person stands in a topic. And I want to know for sure that there is a genuine and deep-felt interest before I start. I think it is good to talk about, there are misconceptions and not all witches have the importunity to talk in depth with other witches IRL about this subject.
A confusing thing for outsiders: not all witches are happy to have a familiar in their life. Familiars can be quite confronting too and there are witches who can't really control their collaboration with the familiar. Familiars can lend their eyes to the witch to see things, but the witch has to be in charge in that process in most cases. If the familiar is stronger willed than the witch, things get out of control and the witch founds his/herself often 'flying'or travelling with the familiar when it is was not expected or even wished. Every witch has a mundane life too and you need be stay grounded in that. There are moments that the familiar needs to be quiet or not involved. So, to have a good workable relation with a familiar, it is quite important to have clear what you want from each other (or not). This boils down to having good agreements with each other, but the familiar is a seperate spirit. So sometimes the Familiar doesn't show up when you want it be there, and sometimes it does. So there is not something as a hundred percent control.
A thing that is never been talked about is that familiars can and will feed on you. If you give them attention, they grow stronger but they can feed themself on your being too. They can be malevolent because of taking to much from a witch. It is not always wise to be the food of your familiar, so there is another field to control. There are for example witches who forbade their familiar to be with them when they are ill or tired. It can be the other way around too: the witch is fed by the familiar which is a more beneficial process. This is something that a witch needs to figure out. You need both to know when to give or take. And there are familiars who are asking offers, sometimes physical, sometimes in acts. The exception is most always when a witch needs protection: then the familiar is there and feeds the witch, no matter how much it costs. But that will need to be fed beforehand. So there are witches feeding their familiar blood, sometimes mixed with milk of wine. That takes control over the proces of feeding, because of the witch decides when to feed, why to feed and how much to feed. I can't really talk about how much and when I feed, but I tend to feed in other ways too: selfmade objects with certain metals and oils in it. But still, the blood offer is there every once and a while.
Another misconception: a familiar is not always an animal. It can live in a humanoid shape also, or a fable spirit, a plant or hence even presents as an object. And, it can change it's shape if it wants. It can ask to change it's name also. The latter is reality when a familiar became stronger and more wise. Witches I talked with, revealed that this was an interesting and intense process. I recognize that as well, the familiar is not so easy satisfied with a new name.
About the malevolent side of familiars, not everything what the familiar shows the witch is worth while. They can be really tricksters also. That is not because they are eager to do so. That is because of the process of absorbing information, which is not always an easy task for them. Or it happens when a witch is not clear enough. There are witches who concluded afterwards that the information given leaded them to astray. So if a witch gets information, she still has to decide if the information fits in the patterns that she is observing or not. And if it's not, she has to discover why not. The witch has to decide, not the familiar. And if the information didn't fit in the pattern all the time, the witch should train herself to give better prompts or commands in order to get better information.
Familiars are sometimes part of a family, if there are more people who are working with magic and the unseen. From first hand experience: not every member of a family wants to use it's abilities. A familiar wont show up to them by then. They can be given away to another family member, however I heard of cases that the familiar was not really cooperative. ... I don't think every human has a familiar. A lot of peeps would feel disgusted about the idea that they possibly could have one. Most of the people in the western world are not in the occult or even involved in religions that disavow and hate occultism. And for occultists in general, having a familiar is still not for everyone. Which is true for everything in magic because everyone has his/hers own path. One teaching about that I got in real life: place an object somewhere and draw a big circle around it and let people stand on a place on that line where they feel comfortable. Give them a pen and a piece of paper and let write about what they see in the middle of the circle. You will get as many observations as you have people. That was my first group lesson about the occult and still think it is the best one I ever encountered.
Then about being private about the relationship one haves with the familiar. There are good reasons for it. Information is power. That is in the occult world as it is in the mundane world. Giving to much information can be used against the witch or against the familiar. another thing i already covered, a lot of witches feed their familiar which makes that the familiar has parts of the powers of the witch in its being. You don't want to water down that powers. And what I personally find disturbing: if people know to much about your magic, things get attached to your magic that you are not expecting which affects the outcome. So there is a lot in to keep silent. That is why I, mostly, only speak in retrogade about my magic processes or share only the methods and rituals that I did a lot of years ago. Even about the feeding I was not completely honest, because i have found another way to feed that I won't share here or in DM.
So, I think I gave a lot if insights for the ones who are in search of information about the witch familiar.
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A thing to add: it can be really good to have a special diary wherein one writes about the interaction with the familiar. that prevents a little bit of the take-over in control that familiairs can do, it is way be in charge of everything. One need be aware of how to ground the information you got from the familiar into your praxis and writing and reading contributes to that. But it still needs some discernment.
