How do I let the light envelope me?

[Nastya]

I have experience with the Draconian Tradition but I've moved on to something similar to Thelema. I have successfully invoked spirits and merged with them in the past. And I have done this with nothingness as well. Both experiences caused my kundalini to raise and it was a type of ecstatic union where I became everything and nothing.

Now that I've moved on I'm catching glimpses of the light. For example today I saw a person in golden robes surrounded by light. It was so intense and bright my mind immediately focused directly onto what was happening causing the experience to stop. I feel like the light functions differently. Everytime I catch a glimpse of it this happens. It doesn't matter if I'm focusing on breath. My awareness just immediately goes to it and it doesn't let things just be.

What am I doing wrong? I want to get to a point where this light envelopes me. Because I know that's what's going to happen. Anyway thanks for the help in advance.

 

[Beyond Everything]

Light can be

1) HIgher energy sparked from deep within one
2) Higher energy from very elevated subtle realms (reached out of body)
3) Egregoric energies (ie that energy invoked in the Middle Pillar ritual)
4) Traps put by malevolent beings

If it's 1 or 2 focusing on it isn't going to make it flee.

 

[iseht]

Grasping instead of receiving. It is the hardest thing to undo, but the mind is always trying to reach for things it desires. Deep contemplative states are anathema to this instinct and the grasping instinct must be suppressed through equanimity and sustained focus on your object. Not trying to reach it or change anything about it, just taking in the quality of the experience.

This is why a solid meditation practice is foundational to magic, one should be disenchanted with mental images. We can note them and impart meaning from them, but ultimately they are passing phenomena.

 

[Siddha]

Hey there!

I’ve been meditating for many years now and have a lot of really good experience with deep states, so I totally get where you are coming from. What you are experiencing is actually a classic thing that happens when you cross into deeper astral or meditative layers.
Here are a few practical tips that helped me over the years:

Stop the "Grasping" ( i.e. Lust of Result): Even with a lot of practice, our mind sometimes jumps in automatically when something cool happens. The moment the light appears, your ego thinks: "Wow, here it is, let's hold it!" This creates a tiny tension. In Thelema, they call this the "Lust of Result." The astral light is super sensitive; the moment you try to grab it, it slips away.

Treat it like a distraction: Since you probably know how to hold focus, try to treat the light like background noise. Do not look directly at it or focus on it. Keep doing your main meditation technique. If the light is genuine, it will grow by itself and envelope you without you doing anything. Shift to feminine receptivity: In the Draconian path, we are used to actively commanding energy or dissolving into the void. But this light requires absolute passivity—like Nuit. You need to become an empty cup. Just sit there, do nothing, and let it fill you up.Build it from the inside out: Instead of waiting for the light to come from the outside, try to vibrate it from within. You can use the thelemic Body of Light or Middle Pillar ideas. Visualize the light inside your center and let it expand outward. When your own aura is bright enough, it naturally merges with the external light without shocking your mind.

Just stay relaxed and drop all expectations when it happens.

short side note: today I meditate on this kind of light after long time and it was bliss