- Joined
- Apr 17, 2026
- Messages
- 151
- Reaction score
- 77
- Awards
- 1
Our modern way of life places so many demands upon us that our animal self rebels against it, so it fights back by making us torpid and lethargic and depressed. Then we feel the guilt that we are not living up to societal demands, but also the fear of what will happen if we allow ourselves to let go, and how our lives might unravel.
At least this has been part of my process. I've gotten over the guilt, and embraced my utter lack of work ethic, and I've arranged my life in such a way as to be reasonably secure.
But I'm still pretty messed up and carry a lot of trauma, and whole lot of anger which is directed at the world now, rather than inward self destructively or towards my friends. I also take SSRIs which don't at all interfere with my magical or spiritual practice like you might imagine, but keep me on the level.
But I often wonder where I would be if I'd never started taking them. How much is a chemical dependancy, and how much is actually masking my internal chaos? My life is about as good as it's ever been, and I consider myself to be quite a happy and satisfied person in myself, as much as anyone can be, but stopping taking them, or even small reductions in dose, are out of the question, as I know from experience
At least this has been part of my process. I've gotten over the guilt, and embraced my utter lack of work ethic, and I've arranged my life in such a way as to be reasonably secure.
But I'm still pretty messed up and carry a lot of trauma, and whole lot of anger which is directed at the world now, rather than inward self destructively or towards my friends. I also take SSRIs which don't at all interfere with my magical or spiritual practice like you might imagine, but keep me on the level.
But I often wonder where I would be if I'd never started taking them. How much is a chemical dependancy, and how much is actually masking my internal chaos? My life is about as good as it's ever been, and I consider myself to be quite a happy and satisfied person in myself, as much as anyone can be, but stopping taking them, or even small reductions in dose, are out of the question, as I know from experience