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Journal Journal of Night and Day, Son and Moon

A record of a users' progress or achievements in their particular practice.
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MONDAY (LUNA). 3/13/2023 (16+7=23=5 Mediation). The Moon. Silver/Gray/White

Rituals: Neophyte Formula - Done.
E: Lord of the Universe Morning Adoration
E: Qabbalistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, Earth Banishing
E: Qabballistic Criss Ritual
E: Liber Resh Vel Helios Morning Adoration
S: Liber Resh Vel Helios Noon Adoration
W: Liber Resh Vel Helios Evening Adoration
N: Liber Resh Vel Helios Midnight Adoration
E: Liber Resh Vel Helios Morning Adoration
S: Ten Point-Direction TA Adoration pushing energy, visualizing The World and The Fool at each direction
W: Neophyte Meditation - Curing Dizziness and Fear of Heights
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
N: Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, Earth Invoking
E: Lord of the Universe Morning Adoration

Academic Studies...
Astronomy, Math and Organic Chemistry
Metaphysical studies...
Geomancy, Alchemy, Candle Magick. These be the studies in the afternoon and evening.
To do...
Annex Appointment this morning to see doctor, case worker and psychiatrist. RESCHED Next Mon.
Ask about New Oakland Group Therapy. NOT DONE
Apply to jobs near the new side of town. DONE
Ask Brian about the room for rent. NOT DONE
Start separating stuff and packing. NO PROGRESS
Done...
Gave kitty catnip, she is comfortably numb.
Took my pipe hit, comfortably numb.
Quit smoking, back on nicotine pouches.
Ate macaroni mixed with Honey Mustard.
To do...
Go heavy on the randr.c program and get it done and compiling and linking.
Look into Anger Management Therapy.
Listen to Positive Affirmations for Self Confidence.

An invocation...
I invoke Thee, Ogmha, Lord of Spells, Magic, The Arts, Education, Writing and Speech;
To Tthe God our Ancestors looked to and upon, Ogmha, Ogmah, Thee, Thee I invoke!
O thou whose skin is orange and red, Ogmha, Thee I invoke!
O Thou of Paper and Quill, Thee, Ogmha, Thee I invoke!
O Thou who walks amongst the Honeysuckle, Carnation, Valerica and Vervain, Thee, Ogmha, Thee I invoke!
Thou from the South, Mars and Neptune, Ogmha, Thee, Thee I invoke!
Thou whose tools are the Cauldron and the Wand, Thee, Ogmha, Thee I invoke!



Card of the Day: Ace of Disks; Root of the Powers of Earth. Spirit of Pentacles/Disks. N of NANTA.

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Missed/rescheduled appointment and briefly spoke with my case manager, this morning before I went back to bed and slept.
Drinking decaf, and doing my reading. (Magic and Mundane).
Going to get grapeseed oil and some flowers and herbs and spices, even have some weed for an extracted oil. Planning for roses/rose hips, oregano, thyme, basil, and clove and cinnamon. Then THC/CBD Oil to mix into shea butter balm and CBD balm.

Due to applications targeted through indeed, one bite - Jimmy Johns. Cool with me. Thursday 2pm interview. Will discuss alternate locations closer to my new home.

Gonna take me a second or two to makes heads or tails of the Thoth deck cards drawn represented in my 200% effort Journal.
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As I sit here trying to imagine high winds of snow in my complex, it appears the winds complied.
I imagined the same in the Middle East, snow up to the camels neck.
Got a copper bowl and fire?
You got fresh water.
Abrahadabra!
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If Tiphareth is a representative from Ra to Hathor to Tum, or perhaps just Ra to Hathor, and the night has its own sun that is not the moon, where Tum and Kheppra dwell or are existent? It would explain why there appears to be a qlippoth on earth in the night, and a daytime malkuth-tiphareth.
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Pondered the body as the tree of life, it if in diamond sutra would not develop physical tangible rest, tzaddi, qoph and shin while an etheric pathway likewise physically but is from heel to anus, tying in tav and in the solar plexus samekh.
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It also, on that note, imagine green of an emerald hue at the left hip and royal blue on the left shoulder, and two pathways appear in between, one is Kaph in day and kaph at night. Perhaps envision Vav and Kaph instead. Kaph would then run hip to shoulder; on the right hip is an orange hue outlined by purple, and the right shoulder scarlet red. A path also exists, that of Meme with a lavender hue.
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Interesting.
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TUESDAY 03/14/2023 (3+5+7=15=6, Beauty). Mars. Scarlet. Dragons Blood. Iron.

Current Transits:

Sun
Sun
Pisces
23°46’ Pis

Moon 18°07’ Sag
u_50_7.png
Disseminating (264°20’)
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Moon: 55.0%
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Current Time:Mar 14, 2023 at 11:41:27 am
Moon Phase Tonight:
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:
Mar 14, 2023 at 10:08 pm (Next Phase)
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:
Mar 7, 2023 at 7:40 am (Previous Phase)
Mercury
Mercury
Pisces
21°08’ Pis
Venus 27°13’ Ari
Mars 24°55’ Gem
Jupiter 14°59’ Ari
Saturn
Saturn
Pisces
0°49’ Pis
Uranus 16°00’ Tau
Neptune
Neptune
Pisces
25°03’ Pis
Pluto 29°49’ Cap
Node (M) 6°21’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°45’ Tau st
Lilith (M) 7°17’ Leo
Chiron 14°34’ Ari
Want to do a Pisces invocation, perhaps Jupiter with Pisces or a Water Invoking with Pisces invoked. Get a feel for its energies.

Physical Notes -
Delayed plans due to insomnia and fatigue. Slept in and rested. Better since it will be after a job interview, in which case if I get the job I can lay fear in them to rest regarding my situation. Going to still go downtown and get meds, only after they're back from lunch. That gives me time to shower and dress.

Mental Notes -

Mood: Fair

Weather - Cold, sunny, windy.

Card of the Day: II The Priestess. Luna. (in Sagittarius, third quarter disseminating)
Expanded into Celtic Cross Spread with Priestess (Luna) as significator -
Covers - XIV Art. Sagittarius. (Luna in Sagittarius)
Crosses - I The Magus. Mercury. (Mercury in Pisces)
Crowns - XX The Aeon. Elemental Fire.
Beneath - Ace of Disks (Yesterdays card). Spirit of Earth.
Behind - XVII The Star. Aquarius.
Before - VIII Adjustment. Libra.
Querent - VI The Lovers. Gemini.
Environment - Queen of Cups. Water of Water.
Hopes/Fears - Prince of Disks. Fire of Earth.
Final Outcome - XI Lust. Leo.

Top of Deck - Princess of Disks (Earth of Earth)
Bottom of Deck - Tower - Mars

A stab at interpretation:
A feminine natured observer of the sacred writings, moon magic, witchcraft. Moon in Sagittarius, third quarter.
Undergoing the process of Alchemy starting with blackening working toward the universal solvent, this process covers the significator, this is a current activity.
The Magician - Mercury conflicts with Sagittarius (Luna currently in Sagittarius)
The crowns is the incoming/current Aeon of Horus, sun marries the moon (Pisces, Sagittarius)
Yesterday was materialism, now close to broke its a card of yesterday, beneath.
Speaking of behind, blissful hope, it appear elbow grease is needed in all.
Before me lies correction and instruction, fair play.
The Lovers, Gemini, is in the question, the environment Water of Water. Mars currently in Gemini.
Hopes for Fire of earth but gets instead the Holy Grail of Blood of the Saints.

Dreams: None recalled, mostly sexual.
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Off to go about my days business. Kitty litter, all day pass to go get stuff done. Shower later. Bus coming soon. Taking tarot cards with me, maybe I can hustle a reading or two for ten a pop.


No dice for tarot as I was a bit rushed and still had one errand to run. So home now, all errands for the day ran.
Back to studies.


Researched Genesis 14 and 36, and analyzed them according to the first bible map.

Server configuration studies.
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Did midnight and morning Liber Resh Vel Helios solar adorations, and morning adoration to the Lord of the Universe. Will do LBRP and Middle Pillar shortly. Since today is free minus a visit to a local food pantry, and my job interview tomorrow, will do a few rituals for myself, as needed not wanted.
Hail Chamuel, I experienced a slight breakthrough with heights in a car or bus, keep my eye on the solid ground and let the wheels beneath me do the work they are intended to do. If they cannot do their job, well then someone needs disability more than they do now.
Wednesday, Mercury day.
Therefore, as a boost to learning (see #1 and #3 in 200% effort journal), we shall invoke Raphael today, lighting yellow or gold and orange candles in honor of him and the one he serves for his role, and to ask for a boost in the ability to read quickly, comprehend quickly, and retain all learned. To create new neural pathways and brain cells, linking them to the existing neural pathways and brain cells, and to recrystallize the Pineal Gland.
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So far my reading has been for shit, even though (Hail to #1) I have a new love for the sciences, realizing them as fundamental if not more than social cscience end society humanities, and the integration of the sciences into the trades, social or natural. Also, retention and note taking are for shit.

Will take better notes, starting with server security detail, and configuration for all apps and services, according to CIS, NIST, SANS and other documents.
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Was having muscle jerks and twitches last night and this morning., This shows me not only does Zoloft, Ability need to be be increased, but Keppra as well. I guess after study of server security and configuration according to at least CIS and the SANS checklist, that yesterdays and todays studies be expedited with as much focus as possible.
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Recalling my grandparents, and distant ancestors. The more I think about it, ancestor works the way to go, being a Kelt. Pondering why being Major Depressive and Generalized Anxiety Dirsorder, Spring and Summer are prime seasons for my suicidal thoughts and ideation. It's probably why my fear of heights has increased lately. Nedd to break this cycle and my cycles of rebellion and anger, my stubbornness.
Tried invoking Water LRP the other day, drawing with YHVH TZABAOTH and EL drawing the Pisces sign. "Work in itself had absolute virtue"
Perhaps wrong or ineffective, it did appear to let my emotions surface in meditative thoughts as to why on certain factors. Self analysis, not self criticism.
 
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Although disabled and getting weaker every month, I need two jobs and a cheap too for rent. So far I'm looking at 200-400 for a room. Cheapest preferred. Me and my cat. Need two jobs, the one I interview for tomorrow, and one down the street that pays weekly. This way every week I have something to work with as opposed to being tsol with one biweekly job.
PO Box. Amazon shipments. Rent paid. Room paid for. Boxes for moving. A moving plan.
Worst comes to worst, one of two will bail me out, cat or no cat, even if I have to put her up for adoption a third time. She is too sweet to not get a loving home with strong and understanding owners. Ive had her for ten years, if anyone knows her its me.


Cannot wait to move out of this shithole and get a restructured life.
Just got a call, we have yet another client, this makes five possible that I know of let alone his. Everyone wants their own podcast, right? Spinning their own wax?
So, more to talk with him about as he had to take another call.


Going through Center for Internet Security documentation Debian and Diet Independent security audit checjklists, automating as much as possible in urgent fifo to low priority. This way we are way ahead of the curve, and collecting a post install, post configuration backup via tar, then if in a DR case, we just build a new server, set a new passoword, and using sudo extract and overwrite. Finally we set root password. Then audit scripts and security monitor running.
Hail #1, #2, #3, and #4.


Still a ways to go on server configuration detail which needs to be done, along with the audit and hardenOS scripts to be created and tested. Unfortunately it will have to be a live test. Also need to ensure the security monitor scripts are correct and in the IPC table.nd
Still, got a lot of notes taken to be put into server instance creation documentation to roll out with a DVD to a client. Correct hosts.allow and hosts.deny settings. Web server hardening. Database hardening. App Armor running on it all. Firewall rules correct and firewall status running.
Yes, with that step against inertia, a lot got accomplished towards the goal. Loose DR p lan idea in place. Tried to groom kitty but that is a no-go.


Based on no visit to the food pantry today, dinner tonight is spaghetti tossed with honey mustard and raspberry vinegarette, with kidney beans mixed in.


Tarot Card of the Day: Queen of Swords. Water of Air. A of EXARP.

InstinctThe aspiration to freedom, self-determination.
PurposeIndependence.
The Light
The ShadowThe intended heartlessness, the distance that cannot be overcome (the ruthless and false woman).
QualityIntelligence, wisdom, resourcefulness.
On the inner level, this card is a symbol of the tendency to solve all our internal problems represented by the femininity of the Air element and intelligence, vigilance, independence, resourcefulness and quick perception. She is an expression of the ability to solve problems with the help of reason and the attainment of awareness without energy consumption, with an abundance of ideas and the capability to capture them. At the same time, our resourcefulness makes us deal with far-reaching problems.
In this area, the card shows the power of clear awareness through which we become aware of our attachment and dependence to separate and free ourselves from them. Little by little, with profound cognitive power, we succeed in finding ways to approach difficult-to-explore emotional areas where emotions and thoughts no longer exclude or interfere with each other. Then, this card may refer to an important process of the awakening and self-awareness.
In terms of career, this card means that we have great goodwill to learn, feel everything around us with open eyes, react with intelligence and skills, and self-control in a frank, clear, and courteous way of negotiating. However, it also implies a perfection through which emotional concerns are at risk of being forgotten.
In the field of cooperation, the intellectual distance of this card shows a relationship that participants want to be “adults”. This means that each partner tries to keep the relationship less jealous, as well as the development of autonomy and power as little as possible. In some cases, this effort may be successful. However, often this is just a “diluted” love of a relationship that has a rather bland material or pragmatic benefit. If this card describes a partner as a “steel woman”, the relationship will become a war.

  • Astrology – 21⚬ Virgo to 20⚬ Scorpion.
  • Element – Water aspect of Air.
  • I Ching – 22nd hexagram (Bì) – “Adorned”.
  • Human – a quiet woman who cares about intellect.
  • Similar objects – Athena/Minerva (Goddess of Wisdom), Iris (rainbow), or Astrai (like stars).
  • Sacred place – The temple of Athena (Parthenon); or olive tree in the forests of Pandrosos (Acropolis).
  • Sacred color – Water in the air (rainbow color).
  • Sacred Stone – Crystal (holy light).
  • Scent – Marjoram (an aphrodisiac).

Turned into a Celtic Criss spread:
Significator - Queen of Swords. Water of Air. Virgo-Scorpio
Covers - XXI The Universe - Saturn/Earth
Crosses - Knight of Disks - Air of Earth
Crowns - XIX The Sun. Sol.
Beneath - Princess of Swords. Earth of Air.
Behind - Queen of Wands. Water of Fire.
Before - XIII Death. Scorpio
Querent - VI The Lovers. Gemini
Environment - VIII Adjustment. Libra.
Hopes/Fears - Knight of Wands. Air of Fire.
Final Outcome - Prince of Disks. Fire of Earth.

ToD: Ace of Swords
BoD IV The Emperor


Morning/Noon Neophyte Formula done. Will start Evening Zelator Formula in the South with adorations. moving back to South eventually with the TA adoration, then onto the South and North work, giving adoration to the Lord of the Universe in the West.


Alright ... studies after a ritual or two.

=============================================================================================================


THURSDAY 3/16/2023. Jupiter. Royal Blue.

No rituals actually. My life and soul are a god-awful waste. Seriously thinking of just tackling all mundane crap first and coming back to this.


Hanging my hat on magic until every aspect of my life is under my control. Ive lost near everything, might as well pawn the rest, get a room and job and get on with living my life. No churches. Maybe the Masons.


I may not do magick, but I think I will stilll keep Tarot chops up and try to hustle readings for donations.
In this case, three textbooks: Tarot Skills for the 21st Century, Tarot Fundamentals, and Understanding Crowleys Thoth Deck.

At a fork in the road on this honestly. Through a channeling of the "Holy Spirit", I was told no more occult long ago.
I cursed a workplace using my name tags (two) with a seven year curse daily to yearly. No bueno.
Ive since engaged in magic.

New opportunities crashed. Old fears and phobias resurfaced for some reason.
Im on the verge of homelessness, save a couple friends of mine (new not my lifelong friends too oprescious or busy to help) willing to take me in.

Or ... I severely learn how to curse and severely course quadruple my curse time to unknown and hidden enemies.




Theme: What was the result of my curse?

Im still learning this deck, you readers probably have insight I do not possess at this point.

Significator - Knight of Swords (R, Air of Air)
Covers - Ace of Wands (B, Spirit of Fire)
Crosses - XVIII The Moon (Pisces)
Crowns - XV The Devil (Capricorn)
Beneath - XIII Death (Scorpio)
Behind - Knight of Cups (M, Air of Water)
Before - II The Priestess (Luna)
Querent - Prince of Swords (X, Fire of Air)
Environment - 0 The Fool (Air)
Hopes/Fears - XII Hanged Man (Water)
Final Outcome - XI Lust (Leo)

ToD - Knight of Disks (T, Air of Earth)
BoD - X Fortune (Jupiter)



All my reserves are empty. Seriously thinking about quitting magic, but three necessary things: pawn worthwhile things for getting by and declare bankruptcy, get at least one job and rent a room, and group therapy outpatient. Magick or not, I need things done when I need them. I dont have a luxury of time. Im old and could croak at any moment.


No magickal books of any kind are open on my computer, only academic books, and only one or two per topic tops.
The hacker assholes won, as did the poor quality of the computer Im using. Yay says the character from Crank Yankers.
At this point Im hanging my hat on magick until my self soul and life are under my control.


And to be clear, I am not friends with darkness, the goetia, the qlippoth or "dark" entities, nor contemporary edge lord bullshit.
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Leaving town for a few days to be with family and recharge myself/get my head straight. Maybe this will turn the tide.
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Yes, I think I will go back to the Latter Day Saints church regularly, get prayer and blessing in my new home; and look into/apply to a Mason lodge.
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Monday at my WC Mental Health appointment, I am going to talk with my case worker about everything and get approval for outpatient group therapy in the morning-afternoon hours mon thru fri. Therefore will only be able to work in the evenings, and across town as thats where Im making my starting move west, west of the city. Between the room for rent and bankruptcy, over eight years time I will annually save money for a new dwelling. Seek the rural areas especially, bordering on town. For example, if I go to work in Indianapolis, I will live closely but in a country setting.
Then here comes the decision - the hard one - New Orleans or Salt Lake City? West to South, or West to West to South.
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Or ... I move North to Canada and get citienship in Canada.
Near Toronto.
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Also, keep on the server work, and make it as automated and documented as possible. Make this priority one in life until it is successful for him, and somehow automate devops and devops sec into his company. Some hardware such as a server with a dat tape drive to store tarfuiles and occasional restore tests, as part of DR strategy. As we move into the cloud, after I figure out the cloud, implement it through something like AWS or Google.
 
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Spoke with the GM of the intended store, not the one that thir automated recruiter set me for. He told me the other store in mind is desperate for people, so applying there today for a Monday interview. That will be right near where Im going to be living.
Going out of town for a few days to be with family. Going to talk to my friend today about the room for rent and soonest move in.
Going to pawn all I own that is if any value, and simplify my wardrobe, leaving very little to move.
Then .. the hard question ... New Orleans or Salt Lake City as the hard decision.
A very simple life ... preferably rural, a job and a room for rent. Constantly every year or two the inchworm moves West/South.
 
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My housing options are slim and shaky, but have some hope in it.
My bankruptcy is about to start.
No job, but will most likely have one this week.
Building a product and security architecture is underway.
No Magick...have to deduce causes of problems and it's a prime factor. Mysticism is a possibility.
Quit smoking. Going okay.
An old girl I was seeing contacted me yesterday.
Everything is up in the air, which is unnerving to me.
Still battling thoughts of suicide, even though every way to do it is barred from me.
Will be getting away from gangsters.
So. Pretty much my normal factors of stress and thought.

It is just all so unreal for me. All expected, bit unreal nonetheless.

Been battling forgiveness to God and others. I may take a humanist approach for the rest of my life.

Where to work when you're an epileptic... Nowhere but from the safety of your own bedroom. Nobody is ever kind about it in terms of work. Put frankly, I am a liability to any physical company. My fears have risen so much, there is no life in my life.
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Note for TOM spies:
Leave me alone.
I've quit Magick.
I want nothing to do with those that worship dark entities.
I won't forgive what was done to me.
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Pawn and bankruptcy after moving into my new dwelling. Dont have to pay the fee for the lawyer, as family is doing that for me.
Which should lead me to concentrate on work and the projects I work on. I may even be able to go back to school at some point and take whatever trendy degree program is out then. With previous study of math and the sciences, should be able to do well finally.

So .. projects....
Security Architecture for server
Runaway and Returns program
That's all I can think of offhand. Doesn't mean they are not complex.
The randr.c program will be complex, as it has to be, it may be simple but will be complex because I will have friends and family review my code and offer advice as they have been professional programmers for 20+n years each. I may hit up a few friends to help with the security architecture, if it takes off and expands. They havent helped me, but I may help them.
So, for security architecture --
Base install done including apps
Scripts in place and running
I think we will go with a Software as a Service model, include security controls and metrics for the executives.
That means we dont allow penetration testing outside of me or may business partner, so we can easily prosecute attacks.
I may include flags in the firewall and other controls to demand previous hop links identified, therefore we can subpoena every owner of the links until we find the root cause and del with it. My dealing with people is much kinder than my business partner and his squad.
Auditing per Center for Internet Security - Include third party auditors such as SANS/KPMG/Earnst&Young/CERT
Policy and Standards will have to be done, included with rollouts of a new client onboard onto the server
Contextual data is accurate
Bastille setup with AppArmor
Most processes automated
Identify, report, and recommend solutions for vulnerabilities
What the hell, this is probably sensitive area, so suffice it to say, following the CISO mind map poster from SANS as well as the Cloud SWAT checklist and digital forensics and this should be enough. We are not google, we are just people, I am just a person helping their family survive.
For the most part, all work Ive done for him has been pro bono.

As for Returns and Runaways,
Need to get datafilee of victim data as well as similar file for found victims
Need to speak with a few electrical engineers I know for help on this
Need to look into how Times Square, Tokyo, Vegas and other high display cities work in terms of content to be shown on their devices.
I may try to test it out with help of my electrical/computer engineer friends...as well as my programmer friends.
I want us all to profit from it.
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Luckily the scripts do as much background checks on on the address in question before blacklisting it and dropping it from the firewall.
Like I said, I may enforce Strongs packets (ie no out of sequence or messed up flags, no fragmentation), encore no root user/hidden owner, no read except for "root" on the pasword file and using sudo to not allow non users to run any command other than a url that is strongly enforced, encrypted and a valid certificate from a Certificate Authority.
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Now for the fun part ... assembling this mass of chaos and uncertainty in how to structure it all. Cross your fingers for it to work folks.
Areas to flesh out -
! SECURITY OPERATIONS
1. SecOps - Prevention
Data protection
Network security
Application Security
Endpoint Security
Secure Configurations
Zero Trust
Patch/Image Management

1. SecOps - Detection -
Log Management/Rotation/Storage -- May tar up logfiles periodically every so often and get sotred at some place like Iron Mountain
Continuous Monitoring - I need better tools, but my scripts are a start here.
Vulnerabiliity Scanning
Penetration Testing
etc

1. SecOps Response -
?ITIL?
Scripts to minor degree.
None in place at all.

2. Risk Management -
Tar file backups sftp to secure storage offline
None in place at all.

3. Identity and Access Management -
System security mechanisms.
None in place at all.

4. Governance - Youre kidding, right?
Nothing in place at all.

5. Legal and Regulatory -
Nothing in place yet.
Some NIST compliance docs implemented, same with CIS audit checklists

6. Beusiness Enablement -
Nothing in place at all yet.

7. Security Culture -
None in place at all yet.

Leadership Skills - Business Partners domain.
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Earl is speaking to me I think.
That would be awesome ion Earl Nightingale was my Guardian Angel .
Anyway, so on youtube I listened to some country, then went to the main page, and out of three videos to pick, two were Earl. The first one was STUDY.
The first video when watching that was then PHYSICAL EXERCISE.
I guess Earl realized my fat and thought "Thats not a good look".
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An exercise on the Rosary......
Ascending the middle pillar.
Not only do we speak or think the Divine Name, but the ArchAngel, Choir, as well as the name of the sphere.
I have Five strings of ten beads separated by four beads, and the three lower beads, the Crucifix became detached, so beads it is.
MALKUTH - Adonai Ha Aretz. Sandalphon. Ishim. Olam Yesodoth.
YESOD - Shaddai El Chai. Gabriel. Kerubim. Levanah.
TIPHARETH - YHVH Eloah ve Daath. Michael. Malakim. Shamesh.
DAATH/CHOKMAH - Yah/Yehovah. Raziel. Auphanim. Mazloth.
KETHER - Ehieh. Metatron. Chaioth ha Qadesh. Rashith ha Gilgalim
The process:
Hold the decade bead and speak the divine name trio once,
For each bead the sphere name four times.
Repeat on each of the ten beads.
Reaching the decade bead, speak the divine name of the current sphere four times.
Move onto next trio up the pillar.
Ground yourself afterward, or traverse back down the pillar using the same process.
For the remaining three beads, what you speak is up to you.
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Advanced exercise:
Repeat as normal, descending, but speak on the decade beads ascending. Polsrity.
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LRP Thoughts.....
1. Try Modern Magicks approach, for any Earth Invoking or Banishing Earth LRP, visualize a superimposed Earth glyph.
2. Feel the weights of the Earth grade, iow, Im about to go into bankruptcy to take pressure off and climb back up to actual earth.
3. Invoke by element per planetary hour. for a day off that would be 16-18 LRPs (perhaps a LBRP before and after)
4. Visualize grass green drawing the pentagram and thing about nature and this planet and what we are.
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If option three, superimpose the elemental glyph over the pentagrams. Visualize that elements color.
 
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SUNDAY 3-19-2023 (=20=2, Repitition). Sol. Yellow/Gold.
Sleep: Some
Dreams Recalled: None
Moon Phase:
moon.php

Moon: 7.1%
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Current Transits:
Sun
Sun
Pisces
28°37’ Pis
Moon
Moon
Aquarius
28°08’ Aqu
u_50_3.png
Balsamic Moon (329°31’)
Mercury
Mercury
Aries
0°38’ Ari
Venus 3°05’ Tau
Mars 27°09’ Gem
Jupiter 16°08’ Ari
Saturn
Saturn
Pisces
1°22’ Pis
Uranus 16°13’ Tau
Neptune
Neptune
Pisces
25°14’ Pis
Pluto 29°55’ Cap
Node (M) 6°05’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°30’ Tau R
Lilith (M) 7°50’ Leo
Chiron 14°51’ Ari

Weather: Cold as hell but sunny

Mood:Fair

Mental Notes: Pizza. Hours away however.

Physical Notes: Pizza.

Rituals:
Morning Butler-style Solar Adoaration
LBRP

IChing:
Hexagram of Day:
Hexagram:
Meaning:

Tarot:
Card of the Day: Ace of Wands (RW). Spirit of Fire, Atziluth. Drawn under SAHDDAI EL CHAI. B of BITOM.
Covers - Knight of Wands - Air of Fire. O of BITOM. Air of Fire, Atziluth.
Crosses - X Fortune - Jupiter, Chesed.
Crowns - III Empress - Venus, Netzach
Beneath - Ace of Swords - Spirit of Air, E of EXARP, Yetzirah, Cancer-Leo
Behind - XIX Sun - Sol, Tiphareth
Before - VI The Lovers - Gemini, Tiphareth-Binah
Querent - 0 The Fool. Elemental Air, Chokmah-Kether
Environment - Knight of Cups, Air of Water, Briah, M of HCOMA
Hopes and Fears - XIV Temperance - Sagittarius, Yesod-Tiphareth
Final Outcome - XV The Devil - Capricorn, Hod-Tiphareth

ToD XIII Death - Scorpio, Netzach-Tiphareth


Further Mental Thoughts:
This fear of heights has to go.

Applied to a Help Desk position the other day off Indeed, and applying to a Jimmy Johns near where I intend to live. Right near Meijer, so the bus trip will be easy.

Solar ritual done with gold and purple candles and seven archangels incense.

Just did edit run on the scripts, looking good, but without hack attempts in /var/log/auth.log cannot comment on accuracy of the scripts, though previous trial runs were successful.

Scripts are fine. This week going to pawn what I own for expenses, get a job without magic, and declare bankruptcy.
Want to move pretty much just cat, clothing and books.

Going to start prepping as well. Daily visits to food pantry, for every two cans, I hoard one.
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Coins go to a CoinStar machine or bank. Jewelry goes to a pawn shop, silverware chest goes to a pawn shop.
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And ... hacker problems continue. Think I will carve "HACKERS" into black candles and perform a ritual for them.
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Visualizing shoving a tree in the mouth of Orobas and slicing off his wings and head. Pleasant post-meditation.
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Card of the Day - III The Empress. Venus. Binah-Chokmah.
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Need a job today. I guess I go with the Washtenaw plan.
 
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Two job leads and bowed out of jewelry making as its not my passion. Nice potential income stream though.
No buy from the three pawn shops visited today, but gave the necklaces, buckles and watches to my friends, he will fix/sell them and give me back 50 on them. Not a big loss, and 50 is a welcome in my moments. Also had a couple dabs with him and met one of his jewelry clients, very cute and sweet girl.


Back home now and a very anxious person.
Will get my resumes together and revamp them. Something is severely wrong. One might to be very minimal about what I did and not make myself bigger than I am. Example, out of all the software Ive used since 1980, up to 2015, 20 years serious work from PC tech to Network Engineer and App Analyst, moving close to project management, and solution delivery - do I really KNOW the stated software on the resume? How much do I recall of it? In what capacity or contextual situation?


But first things first. My friends radio station goes up whether I like it or not. Make sure its tight enough to keep most out or deter attempts. Keep backups and restore if something does occur then patch the holes and reset passwords.


Magic is not done with me yet apparently, so its on like donkey kong whether I like it or not. So master basics. Master competently one system of divination. Protection Magic and Love Spells toward enemies I guess. Dont look for tempests in a teacup however and let sleeping dogs lie.
Get back on the Horse and keep on with Neophyte Formula in morning sunrise and Zelator Formula before retiring in the evening.


I have come to the conclusion I am a minor hoarder. Meaning I was telling my friend while walking together that Im sick of building up possessions only to lose them over rent/hard times, while the wealthy gamble us as commodities and treat us like slaves. I for one am sick of this.
So, my way is the Emperor-Hermit traveling the paths up to and of the High Priestess. Meaning live and travel light, and dont spend money on stupid stuff, use nature to obtain tools. Bank my wages and declare bankruptcy to take the financial pressure off, and to ensure parties personal loans are repaid as well, then cheap housing with a cat I take with me. It will break my heart to have to put her up for adoption a third time with her being a senior kitty with health problems.


So studies - C/C++/Python, replicating the same program for the same output; Organic Chemistry with Biiological Applications, Candle Magic.
And side reading for books Im also reading as Book Clubs - Buckland Book of Spirit Communications, Celtic Magic of the Otherworld, The Mystical Qabalah, Israel Regardie and the Philosophers Stone. Organic Chem, chaps 1-4 by end of month, chap5 first week April.


On building the Solar Body...Thoth Deck, Celtic Cross plus Guiding top card.
Significator - Princess of Swords; Earth of Air (Material thought or thought on nature); Malkuth of Yetzirah.
Covers - Knight of Swords; Air of Air (pure uncontrolled and abstract ideas); Tiphareth of Yetzirah.
Crosses - Princess of Wands; Earth of Fire (initiative in the material) - or vice versa; Malkuth of Atziluth.
Crowns - Prince of Wands; Fire of Fire (archetype initiative); Chokmah of Atziluth.
Beneath - Knight of Wands; Air of Fire (need initiative, not new enterprises); Tiphareth of Atziluth.
Behind - Queen of Cups; Water of Water (pure emotion); Binsh of Briah.
Before - XVII The Star; Hope, meditation, Aquarius, Chokmah to Tiphareth.
Querent - Prince of Disks; Fire of Earth; Pure Archetype untempered; Chokmah of Assiah.
Environment - Princess of Disks; Earth of Earth; Malkuth in Assiah.
Hopes/Fears - XX Aeon; Elemental Fire; Malkuth to Hod; Revelation/Judgement/New Age.
Final Outcome - Prince of Swords; Fire of Air, new idea of an enterprise; Chokmah of Assiah.
Top of Deck - II High Priestess.
Bottom of Deck - Ace of Cups
On building the solar body -
It must begin with thought, but must turn into unbridled action and use of archetypes. Passion left Behind, but still dominated by air as Aquarius - The Star - is before. Meditation and Aspiration.
Now the querent, a man of earth, even a king aspires for or fears Fire, turns into a man of Air.
The Moon guiides.
I need to read Understanding Crowleys Thoth Tarot. And Tarot Skills for the 21st Century.


So, have a few candle magic books to read on, the organic chem 134pp reading for the evening, ad understanding the Thoth deck. And Hyatt.
So just a bit. See you tomorrow folks.


I guess it's time to realize my "foe" is beyond - way beyond - my skill level, and there aint shit I can do about it but just try to be the authentic old me. That and learn to crawl before walking.


And ... just noticed Debian doesn't seem to have necessary executables on their release that I need in my security monitor. Nice.


Revamp of resumes before the business day might be a fair idea to keep in mind while reading.

Perhaps 50pp reading, ~"chapter one"; break to do resume revamp and send a few off to deserving parties, several role type resumes to use transferable skills for desk jobs.

Then back to reading 51-100pp, then switch to Shemhamphoresh study of the conjuration of the Shem angel to full manifestation. Meditating might help.

Break from reading for "lunch". Job search and fire off resumes.

Then continue reading 100-150, Magick of Angels and Demons, then pp 151-200.
Which catches me up for the month.


Speaking of, time to organize and pack, and start moving in to the nearby abode. For a month or two before moving west, but in that time hold down a job, part time, until moving west and taking a desk job as live in tech support and room renter/house manager for a price for rent.
Meditate, and path working - visualization magic. That way, no matter where I am while my room is private and speaking no word but the "big voice" and visual magic/pathworkings can yield quite a bit. Take on an organic chemistry class on the side just to learn how to do the mundane lab process.


Taxes and Job and Bankruptcy work to do this week as well.

Work out the security monitor commands issues. Flesh out the automated install and work on server audit.py script. Familiarity with security and cloud computing. Cloud services study/consideration.
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Today and Every day - Minimum one hour To Shin Do kinetic energy building and one hour Eight Meridian Qi Gong.
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Really hoping the current version of Debian is running uses iptables, as nftables seems to be a pain to convert the statement to do the same thing (drop the ip connection source ip and block it).
Updated resume and sent off about ten applications. Ten per day or even 5 per day are good.
Back to mineralogy.
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Who am I kidding in all my warrior daydreams (@Vandheer, you were correct, I do seem to have a daily habit lifelong of daydreaming, particularly epic action mini movies with me as the badass of course), who am I kidding, Im an absolute pussycat. Time to quit being angry and revengeful; concentrating on magic, study, peace and Philio (brotherly) love.
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E: Lord of the Universe adoration
E: Sacred Chamber Exercise
E: Qabballistic Cross Ritual
E: Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram, Earth Banishing
S: Ten Point-Direction TA Adoration (Energetic push)
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
N: Liber Resh Vel Helios Midnight adoration with grade sign
E: Liber Resh Vel Helios Morning adoration with Theoricus sign
E: Lord of the Universe adoration
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Visualization was strong, started to get a tidbit of voices(clairaudience). Felt the divine touch of the energy.
 
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Vandheer

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Who am I kidding in all my warrior daydreams (@Vandheer, you were correct, I do seem to have a daily habit lifelong of daydreaming, particularly epic action mini movies with me as the badass of course), who am I kidding, Im an absolute pussycat. Time to quit being angry and revengeful; concentrating on magic, study, peace and Philio (brotherly) love.
Don't bring me into this man 😩
 
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Card of the Day: I The Magus/The Magician. (Thoth deck used). Kether-Binah. 12th Path of the Yetzer Sephira. Focused concentration, occult skill, creation of tangible manifestation and illusion as well.

1. Review prior week academics and honestly quiz self to see where you stand, and where problems in understanding have occurred and correct and review again.
2. Studies continued after a five hour dream of being in a bachelors competition to college coeds. Repressed desires perhaps.
1. Mineralogy - pp 11-200 (Im trying to do this in one months time, but this one is over 600 pp) to go. I have read portions among this book a time or two before however and am familiar with Mineralogy and Geology. Write a review of summary of what was read and make significant points.
2. Shemhamphoresh - Get a grasp of the offices and subcategorize the 72 and draw conclusions of the astrological information for the angel in question. Write a review and include an example ritual with conjuration.
3. Write programs in C that demonstrate use of a given set of functions defined in randr.c, along with data structures and variables, testing by value and reference each variable and structure item in the function that are in global and local scope of the function in question. Standard Library.
This is one of the final weeks of the month if not the week, so wrap up and review.
4. Prepare for next month, so each given textbook in the lists has been read and the program functioning as designed, security monitor likewise correct and able to handle move to next release and still work.
5. Learn well how to exit a script and have the program still running, then a kill of the previous script execution before running fresh again. Goal is 100% uptime and accuracy and assurance of data and connection on channel, all applications working clean. System hardened and configured correctly as well as utilities, databases., web servers and applications.

Weeks to-do:
1. Need to follow up on my voicemail and call a lady back about a room for rent, and start moving stuff to piles to move.
2. Need to then inventory every item I own and possess at that time, minus two items to pawn for rent money. Also still need the 50 for a bus pass.
3. Need to file for bankruptcy after filing taxes.
4. Need to interview for and obtain at least one job.


Called by a staffing recruiter for a Document Scanner position with Google. Would be seated position, and pay the same as being the Food Service Worker in my last temp position. This is temp to hire I believe. So visualizing this positively.


Set Mercury table over Sol Table and Raphaels seal in front of Michaels seal, and placed in addition to the leftover gold and purple candles from the sol working and seven archangels incense, an orange candle arranging a water triangle over the Mercury seal table. Ready to rock this.

Also..


Planetary hours chart showing current transits as well, and noting the signs the planets transited into, and where some still are.
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And back to studies.


Has been updated with a brief review of Chapter One.


Energy Work: Psi Ball exercise, just to feel the energy accumulated, not to assign them a specific color. An energy pull and push.
Reading, IR&TPS, Chap 1. Still hacking through Outlines of Mineralogy and Geology, Shemhamphoresh/LKP and The C Programming Language.




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WEDNESDAY 03-22-2023 (3+4+7=14=5, Mediation). Mercury. Orange. Represtative Tarot Key: I The Magus/Magician



Sleep: Have had mixed sleep hours. Slept an additional seven hours.

Dreams: None recalled. No dreams recalled in sleep round two.

Moon Phase:

moon.php

Moon: 0.4%
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Current Time:Mar 22, 2023 at 12:57:46 am
Moon Phase Tonight:
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:
Mar 28, 2023 at 10:32 pm (Next Phase)
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:
Mar 21, 2023 at 1:23 pm (Previous Phase)

Current Transits:
horoskop-slunce.gif
Sun
Aries
1°17’ Ari
horoskop-luna.gif
Moon
Aries
7°40’ Ari
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New Moon (6°22’)
horoskop-merkur.gif
Mercury
Aries
6°01’ Ari
horoskop-venuse.gif
Venus
Taurus
6°19’ Tau
Mars 28°25’ Gem
horoskop-jupiter.gif
Jupiter
Aries
16°46’ Ari
Saturn 1°40’ Pis
Uranus 16°20’ Tau
Neptune 25°21’ Pis
Pluto 29°58’ Cap
Node (M) 5°57’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°18’ Tau R
Lilith (M) 8°08’ Leo
horoskop-chiron.gif
Chiron
Aries
15°00’ Ari

Weather: Warming up.
53°F
Precipitation: 20%
Humidity: 74%
Wind: 9 mph
Weather
Wednesday
Partly cloudy

Mood: Fair

Anxieties: Heights, Moving, Income

Mental Notes:
To Do - Organize stuff for moving. Get taxes stuff together, get SSDI stuff together, take all paper with me to prepare for bankruptcy.
Botany, Plant Spagyrics, and textbook reading today.
Memorize Botany glossary and Ritual orations, work on use of unicursal LRH (verify with Crowley on the directions), use traditional LRH as well).

Physical Notes: Aches and growing pains.

Tarot Card of the Day (Thoth): Ace of Disks. Spirit of Earth. N of NANTA. Kether in Malkuth in Assiah.

Rituals:
AM Neopjhyte Formula
PM Zelator Formula


Further Mental Notes:
I need peace and quiet, I need to be settled, in order to pick up and advance ... or do I?
Occult wise it will be almost as stifling as my folks place (I do NO occult practice in their home other than reading).
I need to accomp[lish what I said I was "to do", peacefully speaking of course.
Need to check into New Oakland for Anger Management therapy.


Todays reading:
Magic of the Celtic Otherworld
Buckland Book of Spirit Communications
Israel Regardie and the Philosophers Stone
Kaballah, Magic, and the Great Work of Self-Tranformation
Introduction to Botany, Plant Spagyrics


Further Physical Notes:
The job search goes on. Might be able to reach the GM at the local Jimmy Johns shop.
Need to increase anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication by 50mg per day for total of 150mg.
Need to meditate daily, for 5 minutes, slowly working up to 60 minutes.
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When in a better spot,

Get a new apartment and move in, leaving nothing behind from my current spot except for horrid neighbors. They can stay here forever.
Get a P.O. Box address paid for for a year.
Get oil/incense supplies whether Amazon or the Food Co-Ops.
Purchase old BOTA/FOL Lessons and retake courses.
Look into John Greers groups, particularly Celtic groups or Essene group. (by mail lessons preferred)
Look into Quareia, particularly correspondence courses.
Look into buying a home, one level ranch style of at least 1600 square feet complete with modern conveniences.
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From 200% Effort Journal which goes here as well....

Job interview with Google upcoming. More leads to follow in the works.

The nftables is cool and all, though a pain in the ass of the administrator, due to the simple functionality of iptables now lost.
But, newest stable release, move to new stable tools. There is no way easily I see to include this in my security monitor scripts.

Now to, with the help of #4, write a convincing set of arguments as to why I should immediately be hired by Google.
Need outpatient therapy however, not sure how that would work out, this is a morning to afternoon shift.
Small acts of desensitization are key I know, in terms of my fear of heights. They occupy a large, tall building.

Gave my Santa Muerte necklace to someone more into LSM than I was. I was never "into" LSM, but paid tribute at an altar, and then found the necklace at a thrift shop. So in giving, perhaps LSM will take three primary addictions from them and put them to rest. That is my hope.

Back on listening to Positive Affirmations and Earl Nightingale daily. Morning and Night. Past that simply acapella UK hymns and Gospel songs.

Studies for Day - Introduction to Botany, Plant Spagyrics, textbook, and all other side reading for Book Clubs/Journals.

Off to the local medical clinics Food Pantry.
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Called GM of local JJ store, told him why I had changed the plans for interviewing last week, have an interview tomorrow morning. Will see about working day shift, and if hired as well by Google, to shift JJ hours to evening, so working minimum 16 hours at JJ, 40 hours for Google, Max JJ hours 24, for a min grand total 56 hours, max grand total 54 hours per week.
16 *10 = 160 per week
40 * 18=720 per week
24 *10 = 240 per week
720+160=880 per week
720+240=960 per week.


Back from the Food Pantry - not a bad haul, canned fruits and veggies, canned pinto beans, plantain chips, cereal, steak, ground turkey, Mac and cheese.


Going through the 100 calories from a can of mixed veggies last night, I walked the four city block trip to the food pantry, and when home and after putting away perishables and canned goods, stumbled and nearly passed out entering my room from hunger.
I ate three handfuls of newly received plantain chips and a packet of keto friendly chocolate cereal. Feel much better. 200 calories.


Hitting the books. Botany Glossary memorization, here we go.
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Retrieved all Celtic threads I started for working on to solution. Main ideas:
Work on mastering magic methods as the Celts did. Join a contemporary group that practices old ways of the ancestors.
Work on a system of magic heavily Celtic in content and modern practical context.
Work on divination systems known to my ancestors from Ireland, Wales, England and Scotland.
Work on evoking a Celtic ancient God/Goddess with resource correspondences and best guess as to direction to evoke.
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Had a sirloin strip steak pan seared for lunch, along with a can of unsweetened applesauce. Loving the protein. Reading Botany.
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I am a pussy in certain ways due to heights, which only recently reared its ugly head at me.
Not the first time Ive flipped out about heights.
Yes Man obligatory quote "If the molehill wont come to Terrance then Terrance will come to the molehill."
Expansion of consciousness in the sciences. For those afraid of heights, why not use VR technology to bring the high environment down low to you? What about a safety suit that only takes one up off the ground at a time like an amusement park ride?
What is it about heights that is so unnerving?
Ive been on poorly maintained (over the six lane highway) before in one of those chain link contraptions, until I came across a big gaping hole in the foundation. Easy suicide method, but that year I wanted to live. I ts things like that that make it fair to rear its ugly head. However, engineers design things to be safe for most people. Granted an epileptic like me prefer a carpeted environment, but thats not always available .... so ... whaddya do?
Man up, pussy. That is the solution. Small doses of desensitization. A shaman friend discussed this with me.
What is unnerving is the idea of loss of control over circumstances. This appears to be more dominant when other factors are out of line or out of control, introducing and maintaining a dysfunctional existence. We are designing things to be relatively safe, but shit happens and disasters do happen even in industrial environments. The key is not to flip out and decide on an alternative to handling it.
When I worked at South quad, one side (back of building) collapses into a downhill leaving only a wall of windows seeing treetops and rooftops.
Its really not that high except for the architecture. The front side when you walk in has an immediate basement stairway all hardwood. I would avoid that staircase like a plague. Most people watching me while walking toward me would steer out of the way, if they didn't I would try an signal them to move right, if they did not I went around them anyway. The next bis fiasco was the service elevator that gives you a glimpse of the actual construction forces and forms at play in layers of height, and gives a vertigo or syncope possibility. That left the industrial staircase to go up and down in. End of assignment.
So why is it difficult to get a place conducive to my hopes and fears?
Why must I be made to go to tall workplaces instead of working from home?
First, one needs to secure a home. This is not a possibility to secure a solid home, but rather in rental straits now.
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Dreamt I was working for my 7-11 boss but had to go to a meeting for him, and did some quick network troubleshooting or tech work. Ran into my old boss from IBM who surprisingly congratulated me on my work (great technical troubleshooting). I then went into the old TCF building where Google is now and walked into a huge circular group of people, took a scolding from the boss who was asking why unqualified people were in th meeting, and handed him what my 7-11 boss gave me to give to the president of Google.
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Interesting two three card layouts on why I lost the job, and why I am again afraid of heights.
Need to come to grips with and decide on my religion, not that which has been forced on me and accepted through my life, with no ability to tell except through random messengers amongst a church group or random friends.
Why I lost the job: Hierophant, Queen of Cups, Six of Wands. Guiding card Four of Swords
Why Im afraid of Heights again: Ace of Cups, Queen of Wands, Three of Swords, guiding card XV The Devil
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Thursday 03-23-2023 (3+5+7=15=6, Reciprocation). Jupiter. Royal Blue/Violet. Represtative Tarot Key: XI Wheel of/Fortune

Sleep: Have had mixed sleep hours. Slept an additional seven hours.

Dreams: None recalled. Dreamt I was working for my 7-11 boss but had to go to a meeting for him, and did some quick network troubleshooting or tech work. Ran into my old boss from IBM who surprisingly congratulated me on my work (great technical troubleshooting). I then went into the old TCF building where Google is now and walked into a huge circular group of people, took a scolding from the boss who was asking why unqualified people were in th meeting, and handed him what my 7-11 boss gave me to give to the president of Google.

Moon Phase: Moon: 4.3% (Waxing Crescent)

Current Transits:
Sun 2°36’ Ari
Moon 26°26’ Ari (New moon 23.49deg)
Mercury 8°42’ Ari
Venus 7°54’ Tau
Mars 29°03’ Gem
Jupiter 17°05’ Ari
Saturn 1°49’ Pis
Uranus 16°23’ Tau
Neptune 25°24’ Pis
Pluto 0°00’ Aqu
Node (M) 5°53’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°15’ Tau R
Lilith (M) 8°17’ Leo
Chiron 15°04’ Ari

Weather: Cold and rainy.
50 °F
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Precipitation: 100%
Humidity: 74%
Wind: 10 mph
Weather: Thursday. Rain.

Mood: Low

Mental Notes: Pissed off at a troll.

Physical Notes: Slightly dehydrated and starved despite last nights dinner which was plentiful and necessary and welcomed.


Rituals:
AM Neophyte Formula
PM Zelator Formula


Tarot:
Interesting two three card layouts on why I lost the job, and why I am again afraid of heights.
Need to come to grips with and decide on my religion, not that which has been forced on me and accepted through my life, with no ability to tell except through random messengers amongst a church group or random friends.
Why I lost the job: Hierophant, Queen of Cups, Six of Wands. Guiding card Four of Swords
Why Im afraid of Heights again: Ace of Cups, Queen of Wands, Three of Swords, guiding card XV The Devil
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Sol, Luna, Mercury, Jupiter, Chiron all in Aries.
Uranus, Venus and the Nodes in Taurus.
Mars in Gemini.
Lilith in Leo.
Pluto in Aquarius.
Saturn and Neptune in Pisces.
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Mental magic works. Visualizing a sunny sky, the sun is peeking through the clouds. Off to my job interview shortly.
 
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Mental magick extends not very far it seems. Sun peeked out for a few moments. Now back to gray cloud cover.
Gave jewelry to a friend to sell, but not seeing anything at all. Last time I do this, and rethinking moving in there. Just doesn't feel right.
Off to one of two job interviews today. Other is tomorrow. Jimmy Johns today, Google tomorrow.
I am not nearly ready to move, but feel compelled to store my stuff rather than be evicted and have all my stuff thrown by the roadside.
 
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Lemongrass00

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Seems you spread yourself out over many things. I think using discipline to master one tradition, and set one goal at a time until it is completed (finding a job, etc) might be better than spreading yourself over every conceivable interest you have. Better to be a master of few things than a master of none.
 
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Sage advice :). Yes, I always want to take on everything.
Quite frankly, Im pissed off right now at most staffing companies. So ... my giving back, going to master C programming, then C++ programming.
If Im an older worker, despite what indeed and job case think Im qualified to do, then they can think again. Bash .. then C .. then C++. Suppose I should master shell programming first. Im going to succeed in a few things.


So master what Im weak in to succeed behind the scene and in front as well. Basic Bash, Basic C and Pre-Algebra, thats my skill set in the area of Computer Science, even though my true passion is for Anthropology and Religion and Magic. But, everyone needs income. So I master C and save money for the C++ Bootcamp Program at the local Community College.


Silence to reign. Interesting quote I heard today.


Well, Xcode wont run on my machine, so Python and bash it is.
Ha! Success! At least in compiling to an object file, but ld is having issues now that cc did its job.
At least the compiler is in place, so provided the mental aspect of my programming is on target and it compiles, then probably working as designed.

The command ld hiworld.o -execute came closer, but no cigar just yet.
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Okay, so once this compiles and links to an executable that prints Hi World! to the terminal, then I will be content. Content to move onto test_sets.c for the randr.c project.



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FRIDAY 03/24/2023 (3+6+7=16=7). VENUS. Green.

Sleep: Was sleeping well until the latter dream part.

Dreams: Had a sexual dream of sorts, with an old hotel co-worker, which was about to happen, she gave me a condom and everything. Then somehow an ex was there and the other one (hotel girl) changed her mind and told me to go. So I go outside and there are three dark skinned guys that have a problem with me, and ended up in real life waking up to me heel kicking them (my heels kicking the mattress). Then I woke up so back to C programming until my interview.

Currrent Transits:
Sun
Sun
Aries
3°28’ Ari
Moon 8°26’ Tau
d_50_3.png
New Moon (34°57’)
Mercury
Mercury
Aries
10°28’ Ari
Venus 8°57’ Tau
Mars 29°28’ Gem
Jupiter
Jupiter
Aries
17°17’ Ari
Saturn 1°54’ Pis
Uranus 16°26’ Tau
Neptune 25°26’ Pis
Pluto 0°00’ Aqu
Node (M) 5°50’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°15’ Tau st
Lilith (M) 8°23’ Leo
Chiron
Chiron
Aries
15°07’ Ari

Moon Phase:
moon.php

Moon: 9.1%
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Current Time:Mar 24, 2023 at 5:48:50 am
Moon Phase Tonight:
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:
Mar 28, 2023 at 10:32 pm (Next Phase)
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:
Mar 21, 2023 at 1:23 pm (Previous Phase)

Weather:
46 °F
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Precipitation: 0%
Humidity: 55%
Wind: 10 mph
Cloudy

Mood: Frazzled due to real life stressors. Yet half okay.

Mental Notes: Concerned about job income and housing, worried about being evicted. Hopefully one of these two jobs will come around. Thoughts on applying to the Department of Homeland Security, the NSA, the FBI or the IRS. Perhaps I should seriously consider the Criminalogy area program as well as a C++ Bootcamp certificate program.

Physical Notes: Sore legs. Regular aches and pains.

Rituals:
AM Neophyte Formula. -- Donbe with full cycle of Liber Resh Vel Helios adorations preceding the NF.
PM Zelator Formula

Tarot:
Card of the Day - (quarter and drawn by SHAD-DAI EL CHAI) - IV The Emperor. Aries. Order, sight, management. Readiness. Command, authority.
Study spreads, know at least three by heart.

Geomancy: Will work on this.

I-Ching: U U U B B B
Hexagram: #12, Hexagram of Standstill
Meaning: Hexagram 12 is named 否 (pǐ), "Obstruction". Other variations include "standstill (stagnation)" and "selfish persons". Its inner (lower)
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is ☷ (坤 kūn) field = (
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) earth, and its outer (upper)
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is ☰ (乾 qián) force = (
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) heaven.

Reading:
Daily-assigned-reading - Statistics, textbook (Christopher), Buckland Spirit Communications.
Side readings for Book Clubs posts - IRATHPS, MOTCO.
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Becoming better with use of gcc, ld is a bit of a mystery; what is even more of a mystery as to if I need to put ".out" at the end of the filename, since its an executable binary program at that point. Dont even need to chmod it at this point either. Becoming better with using vi as well.
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Have dropped watching TOM, and diaries of folks on there. While talking with Panda the other day, she and I talked about the Essenes and the Mazzenes. Both the original religions before Islam and Christianity.
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Expectations for today:
6AM _ Neophyte Formula
6-8 AM - The C Programming Language (K&R) - work on as much as possible up to arrays and bitfields.
8 AM Medication
10:00 AM Google Interview for an entry level position with them in digitization (maybe I can bring books home after they're digitized).
12pm-4pm Textbook reading/memorization of a few things.
4-8 pm The C Programming Language and randr.c cleanup/implementation, or work on test files for the portions and structures of randr.c to ensure proper I/O.
8 PM Medication
8-10 PM Side reading/review.
10 PM Sleep/chill time.

These plans may change as I intend to visit my parents this weekend, and to store some necessary documents there for safekeeping.
May need to do an amended return, as taxes need to be complete before taking on a Chapter 7. Will write out a list of people I owe money to as well for the personal loans.
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Seems you spread yourself out over many things. I think using discipline to master one tradition, and set one goal at a time until it is completed (finding a job, etc) might be better than spreading yourself over every conceivable interest you have. Better to be a master of few things than a master of none.
Well, have one interview today for Google as a document scanner/digitization, and had an interview with Jimmy Johns yesterday. Hopefully one or both will be mine next week. Have a loose plan for housing and storage, the big issue is now moving help and transportation.
Im still dedicated too working through Christophers book. After that considerations are Greers books and groups, namely the Celtic Golden Dawn and the nature group he is advertising ... then there is Quareia, as Im not near any OTO or GD temple, that might be a hard trek unless I live and travel like a Hermit. So Quareia I believe is self study. Quoite frankly, Id rather be working from home. In that case, correspondence courses would be ideal for me. Im sure I would still have to travel to a temple to be initiated as an adept, but that goes for pretty much any group.
It all is really literally all up in the air despite my plans.
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I cannot wait to move out of this subterranean hood.
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To close the gates and portals to Hell ....
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A good start for me. Then to set traps, wards and shields. Time to enliven a statue after through cleaning.
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To close the portal, you’ll want first to make sure that you’re in a stable and healthy emotional place.

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or sweetgrass to cleanse the space (sweetgrass will help attract good things and
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).

Now, just imagine the spirit portal being sewn up and closed.

You can say a prayer and
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of closing the portal.

When you’re finished, it’s also helpful to leave crystals or a crystal grid to sort of “reset” the area.

Make sure, after that, that you work to keep your home and life ordered since chaos will only invite more spirit portals to form.
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Good God, a troublesome neighbor is going to New Oakland, private psychotherapy it is for me.
Maybe my insurance could cover a half year worth of therapy for me off medicare/medicaid.
Sure as hell dont want to get to know them better.


Interview went well.
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Going to my folks place and moving papers there to cut down on what I have to move right away. Sensitive materials iow. So will be off for a few days, and no magic practiced there, though will do visualizations at times.
 
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Anger management ... Nicotine and coffee don't help. At least I use nicotine pouches instead of smoking. However my dream i had the other day really scares me it was a fight, but physically I was kicking the mattress, and luckily my cat was not near my feet at the time (she usually sleeps between my knees or at my feet). I see generational or learned anger. Implosive anger. I need therapy.
 

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Anger management ... Nicotine and coffee don't help. At least I use nicotine pouches instead of smoking. However my dream i had the other day really scares me it was a fight, but physically I was kicking the mattress, and luckily my cat was not near my feet at the time (she usually sleeps between my knees or at my feet). I see generational or learned anger. Implosive anger. I need therapy.
Me too. Wish it wasnt so expensive
 
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If you are in the state of michigan, and have medicare/medicaid, you get sizlx months of group therapy at this place I went to. Helpful but not the same as therapists I went to on the past. The closest o have is a social worker.
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New Oakland is the place for group therapy if you're in Michigan. 45 mph winds outside. War brewing in epic proportions across the world. Not a terribly sunny day, eh?
Shredding old tax documents and such to cut down on paper I possess. Therefore less paper to move when I do.
Going with a chapter 7 by next month. I do hope the last interview hires me.

Tried to meditate on godforms and still trying to understand what I saw, whether it was my own subconscious or a universal consciousness guiding my thoughts .. not the first time I was shown planes and triangles in dreams.
Went from meditation to sleep for an hour. Then got back up for more shredding and sorting.


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Obligatory dumping ground of links I'm looking at...

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Watching episodes on Atlantis.

Shredded two garbage bags of old documents unnecessary for the bankruptcy. Saved all SSA documentation, bills, recent taxes and collection letters.

Going to read Lisewski and Blamires tonight before bed.

No dreams recalled except for the meditation on Egyptian godforms of Ptah, Thoth and Isis in a triangle of fire form before falling asleep.

Much more relaxed when with my folks, even if I have to play the role of an anger management therapist.

Speaking of anger, I know I need therapy, and a new dwelling space that makes me feel secure and safe. But I need to find the root cause of my anger, and have it dealt with constructively. Racial tensions remain in my apartment complex and will be speaking to the office about my behavior and that of others.
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0nto Astronomy, Geomancy, Alchemy and Maths as studies tomorrow; programming, planning and automation/scripting focus for the week.
 
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==========================================================================================================
==========================================================================================================

SUNDAY 03-26-2023 (3+8+7=18=9, Conclusion). Sol. Yellow-Gold.


Sleep - tossed and turned a few times.

Dreams - None recalled. Heard my name called by my Dad I thought.

Current Transits:
Sun
Sun
Aries
5°32’ Ari
Moon 5°43’ Gem
d_50_5.png
Crescent Moon (60°11’)
Mercury
Mercury
Aries
14°38’ Ari
Venus 11°26’ Tau
Mars 0°28’ Can
Jupiter
Jupiter
Aries
17°47’ Ari
Saturn 2°08’ Pis
Uranus 16°31’ Tau
Neptune 25°30’ Pis
Pluto 0°03’ Aqu
Node (M) 5°43’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°18’ Tau
Lilith (M) 8°37’ Leo
Chiron
Chiron
Aries
15°15’ Ari

Moon Phase:
25.3% waxing crescent in Gemini

Weather:
Now 31°. Feels like 26°. Sunny
Precip:0% Humidity:79% Wind: 5 mph

Mental Notes:
Not a fan of history unless there is a particular interest. For example, I took a course on Roman History and flunked it. My interest was simply not there. I am however, intrigued by my own heritage.

Physical Notes:
Watching a movie (Clear and Present Danger) with coffee at the moment, but will be delving into studies shortly.

Meditations:
Will do Point-Line-Cube for fifteen minutes.
Will do sense fruits for fifteen minutes.
Will do mindfulness for fifteen minutes.

Rituals: Not until at my place.

Tarot Card for the Day: IX. The Hermit.
Tiphareth to Cursed, the 20th Path. Law of Response. Virgo. Service to the Divine, seer of the Divine, Voice of the Divine. Third Magi.

Geomancy: Once at home will do.

IChing: Once at home will do.

Reading:
The C Programming Language, C Programming for Linux, The Standard C Library, Alchemy, Geomancy, Astronomy, Math. Blamires, Lisiewski.

Further Mental Notes:
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Routine:
W: Lord of the Universe adoration
N: Liber Resh Vel Helios Midnight adoration
E: Lord of the Universe adoration
E: Liber Resh Vel Helios Morning Adoration
S: Liber Resh Vel Helios Noon Adoration
SW: Ten Point-Direction TA adoration
W: Sacred Chamber Ritual
W: Middle Pillar Ritual
N: Neophyte Signs
E: Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram with Qabalistic Cross before and after.
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On to studies and cleaning my room up afterward. Going to go water only this week, no coffee.
Will most likely eat meatless, except for ground turkey made into noodle dishes of some kind.


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Obviously, as others have pointed out here, that not only do I struggle with Mental Health, but I post way too much and do way too little work.
So, time to change things.
But, at the moment I am compelled to write that I struggle with the faith I grew up in and believed in, but seek the Otherworld of the Kelts, my tribes.


It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there is something wrong with the records and accounts of the Bible.
Even though there is archaeological evidence, it doesn't address the question of who was where when, and it it unrealistic given account of separation of Jew from Gentile, as to how did ancient civilizations flourish long before the Hebrews/Jews? What about Atlantis? Why were Celts recorded earlier in history than the Bible books or Torah by ancient greeks and romans of their encounters with my people? Or, could there have been many races of man over time and Atlantis perished with a tsunami and earthquake, burying it in the EU area? Or could Atlantis have been the tower of babel, and the angels took their task seriously? Who is who and why and where and when and how?


Did Rosary: (Vibration of names throughout, even sang)
Lords Prayer
3x Hail Marys
Sign of the Cross
10x YHVH ELOAH VE-DAATH
1x Tetragrammaton, Pentagrammaton
10x YHVH ELOAH VE-DAATH
1x Tetragrammaton, Pentagrammaton
10x YHVH ELOAH VE-DAATH
1x Tetragrammaton, Pentagrammaton
10x YHVH ELOAH VE-DAATH
1x Tetragrammaton, Pentagrammaton
10x YHVH ELOAH VE-DAATH
1x Tetragrammaton, Pentagrammaton
Lords Prayer
3x Hail Marys
Sign of the Cross.

Going to go meditate and step away from a computer. :)


Has proved to himself "Use it or lose it" is a true axiom. That is, if I ever had any comprehension of Abstract Data Types and common Data Structures.
Struggling with recall of linked list algorithms at the moment, considering either plowing through C again, learning C++ or learning Python.
And redo randr.c in C/C++ for set functionality.
Why set functionality? Cartesian points, medians, populations, and a possible gray area to look at. Perhaps a bitfield for flags.
Why is this important? To simply demonstrate the human possibilities of the work of Agares? Nay, its a higher call.
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Tried to find the non existant google/adecco building for the client site to gauge if I could get there by public transportation.
Guess that is not happening. Oh yay.
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So same archaic jobs with no growth or potential for me. Same shit, different day/month.
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============================================================================================================

============================================================================================================


MONDAY 03-27-2023 (3+9+7=19==10=1, Beginning). Luna. Silver/Gray.


Sleep - tossed and turned a few times.

Dreams - None recalled. Pleasant but with intrigue. Wish I could recall specifics.

Current Transits:


Moon Phase:


Weather:


Mental Notes:
Did not meditate last night due to my neighbors and their yapping dogs. So sick of that entire family that have no regard for others nor common manners.


Physical Notes:


Meditations:
Will do Point-Line-Cube for fifteen minutes.
Will do sense fruits for fifteen minutes.
Will do mindfulness for fifteen minutes.

Rituals: No Zelator formula done for likely a month.
Will make sure I go through the textbook and fill in any missing gaps or work.

Tarot Card for the Day: Ace of Swords. E of EXARP. Spirit of Air. Invoked Force.


Geomancy:


IChing: U U U U U B
Hexagram #44, COMING TO MEET
Meaning: Hexagram 44 is named 姤 (gòu), "Coupling". Other variations include "coming to meet" and "meeting". Its inner (lower)
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is ☴ (巽 xùn) ground = (風) wind, and its outer (upper)
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is ☰ (乾 qián) force = (天) heaven.


Reading:
The C Programming Language, C Programming for Linux, The Standard C Library, Alchemy, Geomancy, Astronomy, Math. Blamires, Lisiewski.

Further Mental Notes:
Up and at em I guess.
Skipping journal specifics except I had a dream, can't recall details. More pleasant dream.
Poured last night and still raining.
I wish I had kept the last 10 addresses and the last ten employers, but I simply cannot recall much, particularly in order.
So, between that and the obscurity of where it is, its not a good fit for me at this time.
 
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============================================================================================================
2nd try...
============================================================================================================


MONDAY 03-27-2023 (3+9+7=19==10=1, Beginning). Luna. Silver/Gray.


Sleep - tossed and turned a few times.

Dreams - None recalled. Pleasant but with intrigue. Wish I could recall specifics.

Current Transits:
Sun
Sun
Aries
6°31’
Moon
Moon 18°14’ Gem
d_50_6.png
Crescent Moon (71°42’)
Mercury
Mercury
Aries
16°37’
Venus 12°37’ Tau
Mars 0°57’ Can
Jupiter
Jupiter
Aries
18°02’
Saturn 2°14’ Pis
Uranus 16°34’ Tau
Neptune 25°33’ Pis
Pluto 0°04’ Aqu
Node (M) 5°40’ Tau R
Node (T) 4°19’ Tau
Lilith (M) 8°43’ Leo
Chiron
Chiron
Aries
15°18’


Moon Phase:
moon.php

Moon: 34.5%
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Current Time:Mar 27, 2023 at 7:22:07 am
Moon Phase Tonight:
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:
Mar 28, 2023 at 10:32 pm (Next Phase)
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:
Mar 21, 2023 at 1:23 pm (Previous Phase)


Weather: Cloudy.
47 °F
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Precipitation: 20%
Humidity: 65%
Wind: 12 mph


Mental Notes:
Did not meditate last night due to my neighbors and their yapping dogs. So sick of that entire family that have no regard for others nor common manners.


Physical Notes:


Meditations:
Will do Point-Line-Cube for fifteen minutes.
Will do sense fruits for fifteen minutes.
Will do mindfulness for fifteen minutes.

Rituals: No Zelator formula done for likely a month.
Will make sure I go through the textbook and fill in any missing gaps or work.
Did Neophyte Formula this morning with adorations.

Tarot Card for the Day: Ace of Swords. E of EXARP. Spirit of Air. Invoked Force.
Kingship of the heavens and space. Result of union of Water and Air. First of the mixed elements.

Geomancy:


IChing: U U U U U B
Hexagram #44, COMING TO MEET
Meaning: Hexagram 44 is named 姤 (gòu), "Coupling". Other variations include "coming to meet" and "meeting". Its inner (lower)
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is ☴ (巽 xùn) ground = (風) wind, and its outer (upper)
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is ☰ (乾 qián) force = (天) heaven.


Reading:
The C Programming Language, C Programming for Linux, The Standard C Library, Alchemy, Geomancy, Astronomy, Math. Blamires, Lisiewski.

Further Mental Notes:
Up and at em I guess.
Skipping journal specifics except I had a dream, can't recall details. More pleasant dream.
Poured last night and still raining.


I wish I had kept the last 10 addresses and the last ten employers, but I simply cannot recall much, particularly in order.
So, between that and the obscurity of where it is, its not a good fit for me at this time.


Watching Live "Even Flow" Pearl Jam video, of all the years of slam dancing, Ann Arbor was mild at Necto Industrial night. Even Community High in the mid 80s was tame. I couldn't hang in a grunge mosh pit, or death metal for that matter.


I need to learn how to problem solve, I need to absorb material I read and not lost it. I need to understand it all. I need to be able to implement anything in Computer Science/Computer Information Systems/Information Technology. Examples- C, Bash, Python.
Why? To be able to live, and live free. No matter the subject. Example - Programming/SCripting, Anthropology, Corrections, Business.


Need to video my Neophyte Formula, Zelator Formula for seven days, and homemade rituals. Then upload to youtube for comments.


Scored and smoked some weed with my trans friend, now off of it and home, listening to shaman drum music for meditation.
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Tarot Spread Time...
Split Hexagram spread, Thoth deck.

Greater Spiritual Influence: Ace of Swords
Lesser Spiritual Influence: I The Magus
Spiritual Advice: XIX The Sun
Unconscious Desires: XIV Art
Conscious Desires: Knight of Disks
Practical Advice: IX The Hermit
Final Outcome of Advice taken: 0 The Fool.

Top of Deck: Prince (King) of Swords.

Interpretation to follow shortly.
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Gematria of 190 - (Magus, Hermit, Fool) -
very beautiful. (XIX The Sun)
to go round; to move in a circle.
"Low-lander"; "Low-Land", Cannan, Phoenicia, Philistia; a merchant.
to that
bolt or bar
to expand (I the Magus)
a flower or blossom
to avenge or take vengeance, to be avenged or punished; vengeance
to ascend (IX Hermit)
to rule over (Ace of Swords)
to wobble or waggle
to cover over, to roof; to wainscot or clap-board.
a ceiling
to stone, to pelt; to clear of stones.
"Might of Yah", Uzziah. (0 The Fool)
to rejoice or exult. (XIX The Sun)
trample or tread down, to crush (grapes). (XIV Art)
to lean, to recline or repose. (Knight of Disks)
slothful, a sluggard

190=2x5x19

My Interpretation:
Invoking Spirit in Thought, Manifesting Below. This guides to new life.
Working at the alchemy of stones and plants, a harvest to soon reap, repose.
The guiding light is introduced to the Holy Spirit.
The Lord of Earth looks on.


It screams of the Great Work, Alchemy, and minifesting vibration.


Hacking at it, learned a new feature library with gcc on macOS, disovered how not to do certain things and how to do certain things. Got past errors on writing the Abstract Data Types/Structures, now to learn about bitfields and see how that can fit into this. Getting errors not revert in function prototypes nor the function headers themselves, but actually function code. Main is empty, save for a return/exit code.
So, think I can count this a minor victory and take a break and some alchemy reading.
Did not get to days actual reading, but might as well as make housing, income, moving, and education top priorities this month.
Will implement study rather than just reading in April, and make regular reviews of the reading. Which, writing convincingly, is a power of #4.
Hail Vehuiah, Yeliel, Sitael, and Elemiah.


My mind in slightly low meditation mode/wave, it occurred to me today I was blessed, given cigarettes and pot, despite my problems, no matter who, someone has my back, I can only attribute that to the Createor and Sustainer of life and nature.
My card for the Day, in case you missed my other journal, was the Ace of Swords. E of EXARP, Spirit of Air. Kether of Yetzirah. Kingship over heavens. Invoked force for good or ill. Union of water and air, as a result; and is the first of the mixed elements.
Today being blessed by my trans friend, who after doing a client gave me weed for free, cigarettes for free, and conversation for free. King of the Poor, or just a king, I was treated like one.
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Without work, nothing gets achieved. So, tedious as it may be, all these "code examples" were displayed and referred to through pages for a reason, so every word.
 
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More fun and games from my neighbors, so enough is enough. Called the office and getting their asses evicted for breaking every rule.
Card of the Day: V The Hierophant. Tried mediation.
 
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