Journal Just some nonsense rambling

[Vandheer]

I remember having a very strange dream two days ago... I was in high school, having some fun talks about games and all that, like basically every high schooler, and in mid conversation one of my friends back then told me out of blue 'Countries name I dont wanna give', are you serious? You lost your ways, turn back to your roots.

That was no ordinary dream, wtf did it mean though?

Incorporated the winds in todays invocation session, and wow, my hands got so magnetic they pushed each other, how do I explain this as a non-native speaker? I wasn't on a t-pose but they weren't just on a position how you would stand normally either. Between these two extremes.

This isn't a first time occurence to me. I remember two/three years ago same instance occured when I did Middle Pillar. I remember DarkestKnight saying that meant good news, and I managed to raise a good amount of chi and it was showing. DK is a source I can trust.

It happened both times I invoked. Whether the magnetism will be a regular occurence or not, my includings of these winds will.

I found the concept in Ophiels Art and Practice of Creative Visualisation. The book is basically teaching Goddards methods, and thats as high of a praise as it could get.

Also got a little A1 certificate on German, thats cool. ^^

I am a far cry from my "change the rooms temperature" self, but I am getting there.

 

[Vandheer]

Midterm exams Don't wanna do magick atm. When they are over I can catch up.

Though, if I am not playing chess or learning German these days, I find myself reminiscing and very annoyed if not downright boiling.

Had to call on Ra after not doing so for months. Wasn't on my plans to. Self-binding.

Contiunous ritual really do keep you in check, I was keeping myself on time and busy, now I see it. A simple sun adoration does change a lot of things.

I haven't done any occult heavy lifting in a long while, though what I did so far indicates I can still lift heavy, and I think time has come for it.

We will see.

Post automatically merged: Dec 2, 2022

There is a disturbing amount of larping and 'know-it-all' ing going on around these days, jeez. Everyone is some sort of world saver, chosen one apparently.


Anyways, although I haven't done magick since exam sheningans happened, ones I did manifested nicely. There is a nice sense of balance and I do not have to worry anything mundane or magickal atm.


Seems like a huge window of opportunity to train more. I think I know what I will do.

 

[Vandheer]

Something is just so different, I am not sure what exactly, is it zodiacal? Is it planetary?

Since the start of the new year, something in me is different. Moving. Alive. I mentally feel sharp. Energetically well. Mornings are okay-ish, but I am ecstatic at night. Why? What has changed? My problems haven't vanished. Maybe its because I am more or less not addicted anymore. I am nearly free.

It started fast indeed. One day into new year Eros shot his arrow at someone on my behalf, but I pulled it out. Just. No... This is for the best.

My future seems settled. It was always a question mark, for years. But now its as if I am reading my own ending. Its the ending I somehow wanted, career-wise speaking.

2022 was half blissful and half agonizing, because of my blunders. It could have been the best year of my life if I had acted honorable when it was time to go. I would be sad but this is just worse. But 2023, I know this will be something else. Question is; Why?

 

[DiLoco_DelEted]

So are you working Bardon? Sorry if this being public in your journal is an annoyance. Was just curious, as he is on my list of workthroughts - Initiation Into Hermetics. He also did one on Evocation, not sure if Aspects of Evocation is Bardon or Phil Hine offhand.