Some questions for those magicians (experienced or otherwise) who have, or are, navigating the sometimes lonely path of the great work with mental health challenges.
I feel it might be helpful for me to share a little bit about my own experience here for a useful reference/example. Prior to any formal connection or experience with magic I began to suffer from depression and anxiety from my early 20's. As those who also experience ongoing depression might understand, it is often something that can come and go for years, with different depths, waves and shallows. It wasn't until 15 years of so later that I began to actively read up on and develop a magickal practice. One that has drawn and compelled me, seemingly with no conscious choice towards a left hand path practice guided by two particular patron deities (Lucifer and Hecate).
When I look at my experience and circumstances from an outside perspective, I believe that the average person might well think I'm completely mad. In fact there's still times whether I question whether I actually am. I actually actively resisted a fully surrendered engagement with said deities for 6 whole years. Such was the extent of intensive societal and cultural religious programming around demons, morals, ethics, and the concepts of 'good' and 'evil'. But eventually I had to realise that this path was really not a choice. It was and is seemingly etched into the fabric of my soul. The me that exists beyond the name, beyond the identity, beyond the roles within society.
So here I am. Communicating with, and being seemingly guided by demons, into a great void, beyond anything I'v ever known. At its best, it feels greater than anything this material world has to offer, at its worst it makes me feel sometimes like the loneliest and most isolated person on the face of the earth. Am I being divinely orchestrated? Am I losing my mind? Is it all just in my head?
As Lon Milo DuQuette once said:
"Magick. It's all in your head. You just have no idea how big your head is"
- How do you distinguish genuine mental health problems from the inevitable side effects of active magical practice, and spiritual awakening ?
- How do you balance the isolation and solitude of following an often misunderstood, secretive or taboo practice with healthy connection and integration with others and the community around you?
- How do you overcome doubt and uncertainty around your path? Particularly if it's not known or understood by those around or close to you?
I feel it might be helpful for me to share a little bit about my own experience here for a useful reference/example. Prior to any formal connection or experience with magic I began to suffer from depression and anxiety from my early 20's. As those who also experience ongoing depression might understand, it is often something that can come and go for years, with different depths, waves and shallows. It wasn't until 15 years of so later that I began to actively read up on and develop a magickal practice. One that has drawn and compelled me, seemingly with no conscious choice towards a left hand path practice guided by two particular patron deities (Lucifer and Hecate).
When I look at my experience and circumstances from an outside perspective, I believe that the average person might well think I'm completely mad. In fact there's still times whether I question whether I actually am. I actually actively resisted a fully surrendered engagement with said deities for 6 whole years. Such was the extent of intensive societal and cultural religious programming around demons, morals, ethics, and the concepts of 'good' and 'evil'. But eventually I had to realise that this path was really not a choice. It was and is seemingly etched into the fabric of my soul. The me that exists beyond the name, beyond the identity, beyond the roles within society.
So here I am. Communicating with, and being seemingly guided by demons, into a great void, beyond anything I'v ever known. At its best, it feels greater than anything this material world has to offer, at its worst it makes me feel sometimes like the loneliest and most isolated person on the face of the earth. Am I being divinely orchestrated? Am I losing my mind? Is it all just in my head?
As Lon Milo DuQuette once said:
"Magick. It's all in your head. You just have no idea how big your head is"