Personal Demons: The Perfectionist Archetype

[KjEno186]

Lately, I've been reading Phil Hine's excellent book,

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. I should do a book review thread on it sometime soon. Chapter nine is about "Conquering Demons."

"Unlike the traditional demons from the Grimoires, Personal demons often do not have shape, sigil, or name, yet they can exert tremendous power over us. And, like the more traditional demons, they can be identified, bound, and, through magical procedures, transformed into something which works for us, rather than against us. This is where 'Conquering' comes in." - page 160​

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I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to one of my personal demons: The Perfectionist. For those who lean towards the Archetypes, there's a list of symptoms here:

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If you would rather have the tl;dr some salient points are:

The shadow fears of the Perfectionist are:​

• The fear of being seen for who you truly are
• The fear of making mistakes
• The fear of not being accepted or liked
• The fear of failure
• The fear of being judged or criticized
• The fear of disapproval

Furthermore...

If you think you have the Perfectionist archetype:​

• You may always strive for perfection; you may feel like a failure if something is not perfect.
• You may have difficulty finishing projects or not finishing them at all; you procrastinate regularly.
• You may suffer from anxiety and stress, unable to relax.
• You have low self-worth and self-esteem.
• You may not be satisfied with your success because it isn’t good enough.
• You may have black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking.
• You may become depressed if you don’t meet your goals.
• You may become defensive when someone provides you with constructive criticism; you may be hyper-sensitive.

So, how might this demon affect one's magick? I can relate to a few of the fears listed above. For example, after performing a ritual, did I make a mistake? If results are not forthcoming in an expected manner, did I fail? Would it have been better if I had more stuff, better "tools," and so on? Do I tend towards "all or nothing" thinking, such as a "my way or the highway" approach when dealing with other people? Do I project my own fears onto others, thinking perhaps that "they, too, should strive for perfection the same exact way that I do"? (Such projection represents a lack of empathy, a narrow belief that everyone who fails does so in the same way and for the same reason.) Do I see my personal demon expressed in what others say and do, causing an emotional reaction on my part? (Our personal demons gain strength over us by conflict with the demons of others.)

How does one defeat the Demon of Perfectionism? Recognize the signs. As Phil Hine said:

"You will notice that stressful situations often provoke these demons to rise up within us. The fight/flight response kicks in as does depression, fear, anger, etc. All are emotional/cognitive patterns which arise from a condition of physical stimulation - a bodily gnosis, if you like. ...​

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"So the first stage is to short-circuit the feedback loop between between physical anxiety and the mental and emotional responses." - page 161​

Phil Hine goes on to provide ways to deal with personal demons through Emotional Engineering, Feeding to Exhaustion, Offering It Death, Demonic Pacts (to redirect energy towards a new focus), Banishing With Extreme Prejudice (addiction demons), to name just a few.

Let's take just one of these as an example. I'll quote Phil Hine on making a pact with your demon:

"In the common folklore of the occult, there are strict warnings about the 'danger' of Pacts with Demons, as anything remotely 'demonic' belongs to the Lower (base) Self, rather than the Higher (Spiritual) Self, and consequently should be banished. This is equivalent to the Victorians insisting that women keep their ankles covered, lest they inflame the passions of men. If you repress a demon, it becomes all the more powerful and beyond your control. Making a Pact with it, however, implies some kind of tacit understanding between you and the entity. Demons are powerful sources of 'energy' - certainly they are too potentially useful to be banished (suppressed) or given free rein to pull us this way and that.​

​

"To enter into a Pact with a Demon, it is first necessary to expose it - to identify its components, sensations, thoughts, behavior; to relate to muscular tension, and even treat it as a shape, a personality, and give it a magical name and sigil. By deliberately reliving a situation where that demon has overwhelmed you, you learn to understand the points of your relationship to the demon, and how much of that relationship is reciprocal. Such realisations are rarely pleasant, as they involve acknowledging your responsibility for the demon in the first place.​

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"The simplest form of such a Pact is to acknowledge the presence of a demon and transform its actions into something which enhances the free expression of your power, rather than hindering it. An example of this process is the transformation of anger into creativity."​

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I could certainly go on, but instead I'll simply recommend reading the book at this point. Put your personal demons to work for you and find equilibrium, the middle ground, the principle of the ternary by means of which the sorcerer participates in the ever changing processes of creation.

 

[Öwnchef]

According to the Current 401 Phil was very wrong with this. Demons always protect or help you.

• Appointment for the dentist? Demon protects you and makes you forget it.
• Finishing that novel? Perfectionism demon sides with procrastination devil and they protect you from the humiliation of publishing dumb shit.

Demons are life's problems and challenges personified and given form. You can either be their slaves or strike bargains and get back into the driving seat.

Learn more about this in this fabulous book by the dear Ramsay Dukes, Little book of Demons. The author is in reality Lionell Snell who must know, because he is from Brighton were most bright people are from, obviously.

 

[KjEno186]

There is another Personal Demon I have to deal with: The Know-It-All. When I was a young man, just starting out, I overheard a friend say, "Just ask Kj. He'll tell you all about it even if he doesn't know what he's talking about."

There's a great post about the Know-It-All archetype over at Wild Heart Witchery. It makes for an entertaining read for me, since it digs up some rather unpleasant memories...

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The author writes: "Think the well-actually-er." (Goddamn it that was ME!)

"... Think [of] the person who is never wrong, the one who always has to be the smartest in the room, and they aren't afraid to let anyone else know how wrong they are. ... The Know-It-All tends to be arrogant, annoying, and frequently obnoxious. ..."​

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Did I mention that I was a socially awkward child? Sadly, it was so. This demon in particular did me no favors.

​

"This is where I started to embody the Know-It-All. I was the smartest person in the room, and goddamnit, did I need people to know that. I had no problem with correcting my peers, family members, and even teachers when they were incorrect about something, and I'm sure I did not always do it kindly. In fact, I remember taking great joy in telling other kids when they were wrong because it meant I was right and was therefore smarter than they were. Big yikes, right? I'm also quite certain I probably made my younger siblings feel poorly about themselves and their own school skills and intelligence on multiple occasions. Though it was never my intention to be outright hurtful, I know my parents made comparisons between them and me, and I know little comments like 'What do you mean you don't get it?' can have pretty deep and lasting impacts."​

​

Reading that brings back one incident in particular where I completed a test, and upon walking up to the front of the class, I gave the paper to my teacher and smugly said, "Are you going to make that one harder for next year's students, because that was too easy."

I cringe just thinking about that. I mean, really, was I that dense? It did me no favors in social interactions throughout my childhood and young adult years. I'm still battling this demon, though in a more subtle way than I did in the blissful ignorance my youth, so it is time to get creative about dealing with it!

 

[Öwnchef]

There is another Personal Demon I have to deal with: The Know-It-All. When I was a young man, just starting out, I overheard a friend say, "Just ask Kj. He'll tell you all about it even if he doesn't know what he's talking about."

There's a great post about the Know-It-All archetype over at Wild Heart Witchery. It makes for an entertaining read for me, since it digs up some rather unpleasant memories...

Please, Log in or Register to view URLs content!

The author writes: "Think the well-actually-er." (Goddamn it that was ME!)

"... Think [of] the person who is never wrong, the one who always has to be the smartest in the room, and they aren't afraid to let anyone else know how wrong they are. ... The Know-It-All tends to be arrogant, annoying, and frequently obnoxious. ..."​

​

Did I mention that I was a socially awkward child? Sadly, it was so. This demon in particular did me no favors.

​

"This is where I started to embody the Know-It-All. I was the smartest person in the room, and goddamnit, did I need people to know that. I had no problem with correcting my peers, family members, and even teachers when they were incorrect about something, and I'm sure I did not always do it kindly. In fact, I remember taking great joy in telling other kids when they were wrong because it meant I was right and was therefore smarter than they were. Big yikes, right? I'm also quite certain I probably made my younger siblings feel poorly about themselves and their own school skills and intelligence on multiple occasions. Though it was never my intention to be outright hurtful, I know my parents made comparisons between them and me, and I know little comments like 'What do you mean you don't get it?' can have pretty deep and lasting impacts."​

​

Reading that brings back one incident in particular where I completed a test, and upon walking up to the front of the class, I gave the paper to my teacher and smugly said, "Are you going to make that one harder for next year's students, because that was too easy."

I cringe just thinking about that. I mean, really, was I that dense? It did me no favors in social interactions throughout my childhood and young adult years. I'm still battling this demon, though in a more subtle way than I did in the blissful ignorance my youth, so it is time to get creative about dealing with it!

Come on, that is clearly a lust demon. He gives you the incomparable joy and lust of being the best. He does you the favour to satisfy you like no other. Gives you self-esteem.
He also makes you a little asshole. I give you that. I know what I am talking about. Later you might develop humour and the ability to make jokes about yourself. Or not, then you'll become a cynic and hate the (inferior) world with its unworthy inhabitants including yourself.

 

[Öwnchef]

At this point an interesting topic arises:
The addiction to demons followed by the downfall and complete destruction of the magician.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Thanks, you just helped me recognize another aspect of mine besides the MBTI INTP-A personality type that is me as well. As well as my natal chart details.

 

[Roma]

I was the smartest person in the room

This is the operation of the Personal Will. The PW is an intelligence that sits at the top of the human personal mind (5.4) and conceals itself while it drives the human to protect the PW's primary asset: self esteem.

This has two major effects:

• the human has to get its act together to protect the PW
• when the human has its act together it is sufficiently integrated that it may be attractive to the solar angel (intelligence that operates the soul body - on subplanes 5.1 to 5.3)

For many lifetimes the PW drives the human to protect the PW. It hates to be wrong.

Thus the PW will discard relationships and will allow the physical body to die rather that admit it is wrong about how to manage humanness

When the human advances sufficiently to control the mental substance of 5.4, the PW transforms from defence to creativity

And the human progressively becomes heart-based and achieves first stage enlightenment

 

[KjEno186]

He also makes you a little asshole

INDEED!

Later you might develop humour and the ability to make jokes about yourself

This is a challenge for sure. I should set up an altar to Rodney Dangerfield...

 

[KjEno186]

Little book of Demons

Found a copy of Uncle Ramsey's Little Book of Demons, so I'll have a look at it soon.

According to the Current 401 Phil was very wrong with this. Demons always protect or help you.

Oh, don't get me wrong on this. I'm quite ok working with demons. Perhaps you misunderstood what Phil was going on about. One doesn't want demons running about like little boys pulling the legs off daddy longlegs, when instead they can be put to supervised work. Anyway, thanks for the suggested reading.

 

[Öwnchef]

Found a copy of Uncle Ramsey's Little Book of Demons, so I'll have a look at it soon.


Oh, don't get me wrong on this. I'm quite ok working with demons. Perhaps you misunderstood what Phil was going on about. One doesn't want demons running about like little boys pulling the legs off daddy longlegs, when instead they can be put to supervised work. Anyway, thanks for the suggested reading.

It's like with doggos, they are not fit to be responsible. Dominating a pack of humans overcharges them. Exactly the same with demons. They can be best friends and all but never an Alpha.

 

[KjEno186]

Found a copy of Uncle Ramsey's Little Book of Demons, so I'll have a look at it soon.

Skimmed the first 50 pages and ... Meh. Might be good for someone else, but I'd never pay money for it.

 

[Öwnchef]

Skimmed the first 50 pages and ... Meh. Might be good for someone else, but I'd never pay money for it.

Damn, and the first 50 pages are probably the best.