Practicing privately or in secret

[Shalux]

Hi,
Following a discussion started in @ShadowRogue 's introductory post, it seems to us (@AlfrunGrima @Morell and @ShadowRogue) that it could be interesting to share experiences and tips about practicing in secret, or privately. I don't myself practice in secret (my partner knows I practice, and actually might even start getting into magic and practice at some point), but I do need privacy to practice as of now, that is I practice when I'm alone. But I do have a physical library, for instance.
@ShadowRogue does need to practice in secret, and with permission I quote here what was in the other thread (to gather things at the same place):

Yeah, I sometimes have to laugh at the lengths I go to to maintain secrecy. But at this point in my life, I believe in this work so deeply that I can’t imagine not doing it. I'm just give you a few examples of what it looks like for me these days.

If you’ve ever seen movies like True Lies or Mr. & Mrs. Smith, where someone secretly lives a double life as a spy or assassin, that’s the closest way to describe how my life sometimes feels. It can get downright comical.

• I don’t own any physical books on magic, sorcery, witchcraft, metaphysics, or psi research, no grimoires on a shelf anywhere. Everything is digital and meticulously organized across Google Drive, Kindle, Everand, and Google Books.
• I have a small altar hidden behind a concealed compartment in a rarely used room. You can only access it through a door inside our coat closet beneath the main staircase.
• I don’t keep many magical tools or instruments, but the few I have are stashed in hidden spots around the house and even in secret compartments in one of our cars. I do, however, always carry two small objects on me, nothing that looks magical, but they are.
• Any complex workings at home require serious planning, not just around astrological timings, but also when I’ll have long stretches of solitude. It’s perfect when the family’s out of town, but then I have to scrub the place afterward and get rid of any trace, especially if herbs, incense, or smoke were involved.
• I mostly work from home, but when a project takes me elsewhere in the country (sometimes for 3–5 days), I use that time for deeper workings, either in the hotel or somewhere secluded outdoors at night. It can be equal parts thrilling and terrifying, lol. I usually research the local history in advance: identifying powerful or dangerous sites, noting who or what to avoid, and considering whether there are local “others” I might need to protect myself from, or possibly connect with. If I need specific tools, oils, or herbs, I make sure they’re available nearby or adjust the plan accordingly. And of course, there’s the fun of navigating airport security, some items can’t come along, and anything acquired locally might have to be left behind on the trip home. Yeah, it’s a lot, but it’s always worth it.
• I adapt my communication style to blend in wherever I am. In a corporate setting, I sound corporate. With family and friends, I speak like them. It might sound hard, but, really, we all do these switches unconsciously, all the time. And after years of belief- and paradigm-shifting, it’s second nature to me. The trick is not clinging to one fixed identity. You’re not just one person, there are many versions of you, each with its own priorities, skills, and even beliefs. Learn to switch between them as easily as changing clothes. (See: Jungian psychology, Internal Family Systems, multiplicity theory, the protean self.)
• Sometimes, I even wake up in the middle of the night, quietly walk through the house, and silently pray blessings and protections over each of my loved ones. Then I go use the bathroom, and then sneak back into bed, lol.

There’s a lot more that I’m not willing to share publicly, but you get the idea. Practicing in private is one thing; practicing in secret is another. It can be fun, it can be frightening, and sometimes I wonder, “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” But I’ll never say this path hasn’t been worth it.

@AlfrunGrima also needs to practice secretly, and wrote some text in the other thread (not sure yet I can quote, so let's wait)!
Any others interested in sharing their own experience about this?

 

[Morell]

Good job. I love this topic.

For me it depends on the particular practice. There are things I do public, some I do privately and some in secret.

To make an example, I don't shy from meditating in public. people mostly think I fall asleep, which doesn't bother anyone. Although sometimes they think it bad for me to sleep and keep waking me up. They don't mean it bad, so it's hard to blame them.

I have an altar where I do private practice, like silent prayers, visualizations, chanting and stuff. It's the stuff I don't mind if people find out, though I'm not happy about it.

And then there is stuff like blood magic that I keep in secret. Patched wounds is something people notice, but since the wounds are small and I don't do it often, no one really thinks about it much and the secret remains hidden.


Concerning the books, I have small physical library and vast electronic one, of course. Among the electronic ones which I cannot buy I sometimes find the most useful texts and make homemade books. But among paper ones I have few that I'm really proud to have, like still incomplete collection of Thursakyngi books (I have numbers 1 and 3, hoping to buy 2 from Ixaxxar, when they make reprint) Not exactly hidden stuff, except one book that I consider so dangerous that it must be locked away. But people around me do not really explore my books with interest to read anything. (and they cannot read English much so it's safe on that too)

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Well, I was not in secret practice when I lived with my younger brother in the city. I even had a MSN group on the internet about witchcraft. I had tools and an altar. But, I moved back to the little catholic farmer village because of loving a man who grew up in that same village. The way he grew up and the bonds he and his family has within the village, makes that I am in secret practice. I know that it can hurt the family. My hubby, although very be loving, would understand zero of it. I made the choice not to hurt, but do my own thing in silence. I am in the lucky position of not feeling guilt or mental blocks concerning religion/Christianity. I can go perfectly to the chapel of saint Mary in the morning or sing Glory to God (Bach, Weihnachtsoratorium in this period, Ehre sei Gott) in the choirs and do in the evening my own private/secret thing.

Things like meditation and mindfulness are a little bit a kind of buzzwords the last years. So I figured out that, if I perform all magic in my mind, no one would have a clue what I am doing. Even not my hubby. To do so I had be much, much, much more better in visualization. Oh my, I was so bad in visualization at that time. But the learning curve was a steep one and after a while I could perform complete rituals just comfortably sitting in a chair, doing physically nothing, eyes closed. I have my favorite spots in house or the garden. I think it is worthwhile for every practitioner to learn this ability. For myself I made exercises and procedures to learn things. I have posted one in the tutorial section of the forum last week. I have to add, that I tend to learn better if I make my own exercises. That is even the same on oboe. Concerning rituals: over time when performing everything in mind, I stripped things down to it's very base... I have to admit that chaos magic did set me on a way of thinking that works.

I work a lot with plant/tree allies too. And this is where walking the dog becomes a very elegant and handy solution. I have even names for of my allies and our smart beagle dog knows them. If I say, lets go to ..... the dog start to walk to the particular ally. The funny thing is, hubby and other people walk very often the same routes, but dont have clue. I have posted something about plant allies in the witchcraft a while ago, if you are interested.

In the garden I grew some ingredients that other people won't notice. As example: I grew in my little green house a bhut Jolokia pepper (very hot!) and harvested the seeds as ingredient. I have a collection of seeds for the garden, so nobody would notice. And nobody knows why the taxus tree is in the front garden. And for other spell ingredients, there is a lot in my kitchen cupboard from which other people including hubby think that it is for cooking. And while cooking: it is easy to cut for example a sigil in a potato before throwing the potato in the hot boiling water. Works perfectly fine! Other sigils are in my drawing book. For others it is only a drawing book and bunch of sakura pens, for me it is a book of magic. I am a kind of hobby person with making quilts and so on. Drawings I don't wanted to be seen are in the cupboard with hobby stuff. I have protected the drawing book however with a thoughtform, just to be safe and I have a lot of clues that the thoughtform doing its job.

Concerning incense, hubby hates incense. But as a kind of home perfumes he and a lot friends around us, like the essential oils I am damping every once in a while. For me it is a great mood booster to get in the zone. The only candles are waxine lights. On another place on the forum, I saw a concern about not having the right candle colors for a ritual. I solved it by projecting/visualization an ascending spiraling energy line coming from the flame in the color I need. It takes practice to learn, but it works!

Books: I have everything on my laptop and on my e reader. I have to be thankful for WF because of finding here so much books on PDF. If my income has a little grow next year I will be for certain a benefactor. I have no hardcopy books anymore.

Due to work rhythms, I am most of the time earlier out of bed than hubby so I can practice in the morning in silence with as a only sound the ticking of the clock. The ticking of the clock has become a stimulus for practicing. I count the ticking clock as my most important tool now.

Hopefully you get the idea how things worked out.

 

[ShadowRogue]

To make an example, I don't shy from meditating in public. people mostly think I fall asleep, which doesn't bother anyone. Although sometimes they think it bad for me to sleep and keep waking me up. They don't mean it bad, so it's hard to blame them.

Haha, good to know that I'm not the only one who takes advantage of the "he's asleep, don't bother him" thing when meditating or praying in public. One of my favorite times to do this is on long plane trips. Didn't realize that I had gone for about an hour before the plane landed. The person next to me was like "Oh! You seemed to have slept really well!"

Also works for when you don't feel like being bothered. Some people are wayyyy too chatty on planes, so I will often close my eyes the moment the plane starts moving, lol.

Post automatically merged: Monday at 9:39 PM

And then there is stuff like blood magic that I keep in secret. Patched wounds is something people notice, but since the wounds are small and I don't do it often, no one really thinks about it much and the secret remains hidden.

See, this is one of the types of magic that I cannot do in my current situation. I've done it one time, and got some very interesting results from it. But me and my spouse tend to see each other with no clothes quite often (wink wink!), and I'm pretty sure it'd get a little difficult to hide the scars if I were doing it regularly.

With that sort of practice, or anything similar, I'd imagine that one might need to be with someone who fully understands it, or at least ensure that they never see the marks! However, I'm speaking as someone who is very inexperienced with that, so perhaps I'm overcomplicating it.

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Haha, good to know that I'm not the only one who takes advantage of the "he's asleep, don't bother him" thing when meditating or praying in public. One of my favorite times to do this is on long plane trips. Didn't realize that I had gone for about an hour before the plane landed. The person next to me was like "Oh! You seemed to have slept really well!"

Haha, me today on the train. I have every monday two times 1,5 hours in the train. One of those time is used for meditating, praying or exercises.

 

[ShadowRogue]

Well, I was not in secret practice when I lived with my younger brother in the city. I even had a MSN group on the internet about witchcraft. I had tools and an altar. But, I moved back to the little catholic farmer village because of loving a man who grew up in that same village. The way he grew up and the bonds he and his family has within the village, makes that I am in secret practice. I know that it can hurt the family. My hubby, although very be loving, would understand zero of it. I made the choice not to hurt, but do my own thing in silence. I am in the lucky position of not feeling guilt or mental blocks concerning religion/Christianity. I can go perfectly to the chapel of saint Mary in the morning or sing Glory to God (Bach, Weihnachtsoratorium in this period, Ehre sei Gott) in the choirs and do in the evening my own private/secret thing.

Hmm, well, one thing that I've found interesting is how some witches, mainly those with Appalachian or Hoodoo backgrounds, tend to have no problem with engaging with Christianity, particularly those who use the Bible or certain Christian concepts (like prayers to saints or the use of holy water or crosses, for enchantment work). I've wondered if having a Christian background might increase one's effectiveness with Christian sorcery. Of course, this idea may turn off people who have a bad past with Christianity/Catholicism, but you seem very comfortable with it? Have you ever incorporated any of it into your work?

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Yes I did. In local magic spells there is enchantment with a Christian background. I was able to get a few real results with it. But it is magic that is not really transformative like working with demons or with local land spirits, like more complex rituals or intensive training.

"Good Catholic" women pray here to Saint Anthony when they lost things and are able to find those things back after that. The funny thing is that they don't count that as magic, but as religion. But where you put belief in, works.

 

[ShadowRogue]

Yes I did. In local magic spells there is enchantment with a Christian background. I was able to get a few real results with it. But it is magic that is not really transformative like working with demons or with local land spirits, like more complex rituals or intensive training.

"Good Catholic" women pray here to Saint Anthony when they lost things and are able to find those things back after that. The funny thing is that they don't count that as magic, but as religion. But where you put belief in, works.

Yes, because "it's not magic if it comes from religion!", right, lol? Yeah, I had a strong Christian background, but it hadn't occurred to me until many years later that all those prayers were actually just spellwork and divination!

Things like meditation and mindfulness are a little bit a kind of buzzwords the last years. So I figured out that, if I perform all magic in my mind, no one would have a clue what I am doing. Even not my hubby. To do so I had be much, much, much more better in visualization. Oh my, I was so bad in visualization at that time. But the learning curve was a steep one and after a while I could perform complete rituals just comfortably sitting in a chair, doing physically nothing, eyes closed. I have my favorite spots in house or the garden. I think it is worthwhile for every practitioner to learn this ability. For myself I made exercises and procedures to learn things. I have posted one in the tutorial section of the forum last week. I have to add, that I tend to learn better if I make my own exercises. That is even the same on oboe. Concerning rituals: over time when performing everything in mind, I stripped things down to it's very base... I have to admit that chaos magic did set me on a way of thinking that works.

Interesting. I've had some success here, but it's always felt a bit mixed. It could be because it just doesn't work for me, or that I just need to spend more time practicing visualization magic. Having said that, I do have some fond memories of very complex rituals that I've performed, so I don't imagine that I'll ever move completely away from the physical aspect of it. There's something about the visceral feel of actually holding something specifically dedicated for a certain type of ritual, or standing beneath a very rare moon and soaking it in, or sensing a powerful presence while offering spring water and honey at a crossroads at 2AM. I think I'd kind of miss this stuff if I completely stopped it! Having said that, it would be nice to be able to fully engage with this stuff mentally if I needed to lay low for a while.

Post automatically merged: Tuesday at 12:42 AM

In the garden I grew some ingredients that other people won't notice. As example: I grew in my little green house a bhut Jolokia pepper (very hot!) and harvested the seeds as ingredient. I have a collection of seeds for the garden, so nobody would notice. And nobody knows why the taxus tree is in the front garden. And for other spell ingredients, there is a lot in my kitchen cupboard from which other people including hubby think that it is for cooking. And while cooking: it is easy to cut for example a sigil in a potato before throwing the potato in the hot boiling water. Works perfectly fine! Other sigils are in my drawing book. For others it is only a drawing book and bunch of sakura pens, for me it is a book of magic. I am a kind of hobby person with making quilts and so on. Drawings I don't wanted to be seen are in the cupboard with hobby stuff. I have protected the drawing book however with a thoughtform, just to be safe and I have a lot of clues that the thoughtform doing its job.

HA! A potato sigil! So funny and so awesome at the same time. I've had to get really creative, but I'm not sure why I haven't come up with the idea of using my food for symbol work! Definitely will keep that one in mind!

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Although being secretive, I came to remember that hubby in fact was part of a magic experience by accident. One day I walked with the dog to the forest, 3 kms from my village and had a appointment with hubby to pick me up at a certain time because I didn't want to walk back. It gave me time to connect with local spirits over there, had some foods baked for that. Been there, doing my thing and hubby did arrive just in time on the parking. He was like, well we can walk a little route together so I can have some fresh air too. We started the route. You have to know that it was Dutch forest and only a square km. Dutch forests are no jungle, they are planted by humans. Somewhere on the route suddenly we both saw a path on the left. We both couldn't remember that path. It was never there before. And I know that part of the forest since a was young. But we decided to go left and walk that path. After e few minutes we got lost. It took us more than an hour to find our way back to the car.... Later on when walking again in the forest, we never saw that path on the left anymore. We must have stepped in a parallel universe or in a enchanted part of the forest.

 

[Morell]

See, this is one of the types of magic that I cannot do in my current situation. I've done it one time, and got some very interesting results from it. But me and my spouse tend to see each other with no clothes quite often (wink wink!), and I'm pretty sure it'd get a little difficult to hide the scars if I were doing it regularly.

With that sort of practice, or anything similar, I'd imagine that one might need to be with someone who fully understands it, or at least ensure that they never see the marks! However, I'm speaking as someone who is very inexperienced with that, so perhaps I'm overcomplicating it.

I'm doing regularly and my family can see my hands daily. The problem is in how you get blood and how much of it. Less than drop is always enough for me.

Also I'm persona that get's wounded easily so people are used to me having bruises or patches occasionally. None watches for the cycles of the moon, so me having a patch over a finger once in a month doesn't raise any questions at all, actually. I was asked like twice or thrice from the start and I said that it is just a scratch, which it kind of is and in a week it heals without any visible scar. And since they got used to it, The patches don't even raise any interest in them anymore.

So I practically keep it hidden in the plain sight.

 

[AlfrunGrima]

Having said that, I do have some fond memories of very complex rituals that I've performed, so I don't imagine that I'll ever move completely away from the physical aspect of it. There's something about the visceral feel of actually holding something specifically dedicated for a certain type of ritual, or standing beneath a very rare moon and soaking it in, or sensing a powerful presence while offering spring water and honey at a crossroads at 2AM. I think I'd kind of miss this stuff if I completely stopped it!

Post automatically merged: Tuesday at 12:42 AM

Luckily I have some moments of practicing in real life, however scarce. Hubby tends to go out very early in the morning, so taking my bike to the dark silent forest is doable 1 or 2 times a year when it is winter..... or in a (thunder)storm)....

 

[hawaiianmagick]

I really can't do anything at home . I work nights outside. I use animated gifs of candles on my phone. Other photos of candles with the spirits name carved in it. I also have a chakra bracelet and various crystals necklaces. My book collection is on my phone. I use T2S app for listening to the pdfs

 

[Amadeus]

Various meditations, energy/mantra work can be done like this, without anybody knowing anything.

You memorize the mantras, prayers, words of power, chant them, repeat them. Depending on your job it might be possible to work with them around the clock. Some more passive job or something where you work with hands, perhaps. Then it's possible to actively practice for hours and hours, all the time. The same thing in front of others, at home, anywhere, focus on the words of power. There can definitely be distractions but if you can get some solitude and silence, perfect! No tools, nobody knowing anything.

I remember during some years I did really passive work where I had to control something on screen. Basically all the time I was chanting, day to day chanting chanting and more chanting. It was a wonderful experience. Even the most boring things can become more fun when you feel connected in a huge way.

Over time you learn to get into more altered states, special states, states with excellent effects. It also makes you more open to energy work in general.
Practicing in secret. If you can use beads without anybody asking weird questions then this tool is definitely worth getting. If not beads then a beaded bracelet or something, smaller but does the same thing.