[Help] Treating burnout through the practicies

[antiqueMousse]

Sorry, if I chose the wrong section of forum, not sure, where it fits better (new in here).

Well, I… actually don’t know, what to do.

I’m a student of computer science, this summer getting my bachelor degree. Last 1.5 years I had additional web courses from a bigtech company of my country, where I switched several teams and ended up doing all the work of four developers by myself: slept from 0 to 6 hours a day and sacrificed all other parts of my life. Still, I managed to complete it alone – second one in 14 years who did.

At the begging I was really excited, but now just hate everything about codding. I feel like in this race I learned much less that should to, and now it’s too late. I failed two technical job interviews. And the worst part – I don’t actually want to learn something new about it. Feel guilt for being unemployed and wasting parents’ money. I do not deserve such help, they have their own troubles.

Tried to ask a therapist (pretty ‘decorated’ btw) for help. Paid around 90 dollars for the session, but all his advices can be summed up as ‘give up’. Nuts.

Absolutely exhausted. Feel drained all the time, sleep a lot (sometimes up to 12 hours), but still tired, when wake up On top of that, there are many other problems (especially in family) that can’t be solved. Disappointed in what I do and myself.

Looking for any practices or advice that can help me to carry on. Could anything occult related help in this situation?

Thank you.

 

[MsMushroom]

Hello Hello,

There are several things I want to address in your post before answering your question. You have been completely depleted along with the guilt you have. It is not your fault you feel this way. Sometimes what seems like opportunities make us stagnant and test what we really want from life.

Therapy can be a hit or miss. It took my husband three different therapist to find one that actually helps. The one you saw did not provide you anything. The financial part of it makes it worse. If you dont want to try again, maybe look into some self help books that can guide you through your burn out?

lastly before getting into advice, I see you. I was there. Feeling like a failure in a hopeless situation seems like a never ending tunnel. But there is things that can help you slowly. It won’t all be solved and perfect over night. It takes work, discipline, and alot of inner reflection. I believe in you, even when you can’t believe in yourself yet. You’ll find ways to come back to yourself slowly.

TLDR: advice
I used natures remedies for stress and fatigue. This helped me implement daily routines to help my body recover. You’re really treating all parts of yourself with burn out. Body, soul, and spirit. I also picked up two routines one to help my body connect with itself, i chose yoga. And I also reconnected with nature to help my spirit. Lean heavily into your spirituality, it helps with the self reflection. Work books, podcasts, informational books, whatever will help you reconnect with your soul. You’re not trying to fix anything at this point. You’re just trying to heal. All of these things can be occult related depending on what your interested in. You can even do daily rituals/meditations that are reserved for you and only you to have time with yourself. Weekly or monthly divinations to help you be more thoughtful on what strategies to use to take on whats ahead. Be selfish, you need to so you can recover. This isn’t to be done all at once, take little bits. Recovery is slow but worth it.

 

[antiqueMousse]

Hello Hello,

There are several things I want to address in your post before answering your question. You have been completely depleted along with the guilt you have. It is not your fault you feel this way. Sometimes what seems like opportunities make us stagnant and test what we really want from life.

Therapy can be a hit or miss. It took my husband three different therapist to find one that actually helps. The one you saw did not provide you anything. The financial part of it makes it worse. If you dont want to try again, maybe look into some self help books that can guide you through your burn out?

lastly before getting into advice, I see you. I was there. Feeling like a failure in a hopeless situation seems like a never ending tunnel. But there is things that can help you slowly. It won’t all be solved and perfect over night. It takes work, discipline, and alot of inner reflection. I believe in you, even when you can’t believe in yourself yet. You’ll find ways to come back to yourself slowly.

TLDR: advice
I used natures remedies for stress and fatigue. This helped me implement daily routines to help my body recover. You’re really treating all parts of yourself with burn out. Body, soul, and spirit. I also picked up two routines one to help my body connect with itself, i chose yoga. And I also reconnected with nature to help my spirit. Lean heavily into your spirituality, it helps with the self reflection. Work books, podcasts, informational books, whatever will help you reconnect with your soul. You’re not trying to fix anything at this point. You’re just trying to heal. All of these things can be occult related depending on what your interested in. You can even do daily rituals/meditations that are reserved for you and only you to have time with yourself. Weekly or monthly divinations to help you be more thoughtful on what strategies to use to take on whats ahead. Be selfish, you need to so you can recover. This isn’t to be done all at once, take little bits. Recovery is slow but worth it.

Thank you for your concern!

I’m an absolute beginner here, so could you be more detailed in the specific methods and routines you use? That would be very helpful in my own research, or something I could implement straightaway.

One thing I still keep doing is visiting gym 2/3 times a week (though it becomes harder every time), but do not actually enjoy the progress I make (Also visiting means that I will be too exhausted to make something else that day). And there is a hobby I still like – WWI/WWII military reenacting. Some king of uniting with ancestors (Searching for some historical literature got me here). Sounds wired, but machineguns roaring at the field and subsequent sleep at open-air camp in my antique tunic help to breathe easier. I think it counts as a nature connection too. However, any relief ends up when I turn on my laptop.

And also, what it means to ‘have time with yourself’? Specifically for you? For me now it sounds like just another reminder of how hollow my life and personality actually are.

 

[MsMushroom]

Thank you for your concern!

I’m an absolute beginner here, so could you be more detailed in the specific methods and routines you use? That would be very helpful in my own research, or something I could implement straightaway.

One thing I still keep doing is visiting gym 2/3 times a week (though it becomes harder every time), but do not actually enjoy the progress I make (Also visiting means that I will be too exhausted to make something else that day). And there is a hobby I still like – WWI/WWII military reenacting. Some king of uniting with ancestors (Searching for some historical literature got me here). Sounds wired, but machineguns roaring at the field and subsequent sleep at open-air camp in my antique tunic help to breathe easier. I think it counts as a nature connection too. However, any relief ends up when I turn on my laptop.

And also, what it means to ‘have time with yourself’? Specifically for you? For me now it sounds like just another reminder of how hollow my life and personality actually are.

I’m gonna move this into PM

Post automatically merged: Sunday at 4:13 AM

OK, I thought I could bypass the 20 post rule by buying a membership apparently not. So I have to stick with post. Sorry, and if there’s something that you’re uncomfortable with talking about like, let me know.

Honestly, it seems like your issues are two fold. You're burnt out but it also seems like you don’t like yourself. So it’s hard to do some of this work when you are constantly beating yourself up. Also it’s sort of hard to suggest things because I don’t know you very well (which is why PM’s would have been better lol).

Burn out isn’t something that just lives in our soul and spirit. It’s a physical issue as well. My biggest suggestion is to get a self help book for burn out that carters to you. The book I mentioned is by Jo Dunbar. It mostly focuses on your physical recovery.
Secondly, Change what type of movement you’re doing at the gym. You hate it because it isn’t actually giving you what you need. Swim, hike, yoga, or something. Try it all till you get something that actually regulates your body. The key is regulation. I thought yoga was stupid until I tried it. It became an hour for me to just allow my body to breath, literally.

Spiritually, I looked into books so I could research and pull out spells. Like the book of sacred baths by sherman, which im more then happy to tell you about if it interests you. I also focused on living my life differently by looking at the moon phases by using a moon journal by chronicle books. Also more then happy to delve into that as well. It seems like ancestral work may be something your interested in?

Im so sorry this is turning into a book. How often are you able to open air camp? Your hobbies and what relax you are not weird. Again, I feel like there is some inner work you can to do. That time you have is for you, yes, it’s sacred. No lap top, no access to others, just you and your connection to your body, soul, and spirit.
The lap top is a whole other topic I can go into in terms of cleansing and protecting yourself.

 

[antiqueMousse]

I’m gonna move this into PM

Post automatically merged: Sunday at 4:13 AM

OK, I thought I could bypass the 20 post rule by buying a membership apparently not. So I have to stick with post. Sorry, and if there’s something that you’re uncomfortable with talking about like, let me know.

Honestly, it seems like your issues are two fold. You're burnt out but it also seems like you don’t like yourself. So it’s hard to do some of this work when you are constantly beating yourself up. Also it’s sort of hard to suggest things because I don’t know you very well (which is why PM’s would have been better lol).

Burn out isn’t something that just lives in our soul and spirit. It’s a physical issue as well. My biggest suggestion is to get a self help book for burn out that carters to you. The book I mentioned is by Jo Dunbar. It mostly focuses on your physical recovery.
Secondly, Change what type of movement you’re doing at the gym. You hate it because it isn’t actually giving you what you need. Swim, hike, yoga, or something. Try it all till you get something that actually regulates your body. The key is regulation. I thought yoga was stupid until I tried it. It became an hour for me to just allow my body to breath, literally.

Spiritually, I looked into books so I could research and pull out spells. Like the book of sacred baths by sherman, which im more then happy to tell you about if it interests you. I also focused on living my life differently by looking at the moon phases by using a moon journal by chronicle books. Also more then happy to delve into that as well. It seems like ancestral work may be something your interested in?

Im so sorry this is turning into a book. How often are you able to open air camp? Your hobbies and what relax you are not weird. Again, I feel like there is some inner work you can to do. That time you have is for you, yes, it’s sacred. No lap top, no access to others, just you and your connection to your body, soul, and spirit.
The lap top is a whole other topic I can go into in terms of cleansing and protecting yourself.

Everything is fine, I don’t really care that it’s not the PM. I’m looking for help, so hushing something up would be stupid. The amount of text is also absolutely fine. On the contrary, thank you for spending your time on it. I would be happy to read about everything you mentioned in details (and answer any of your questions).

I don’t actually hate gym, just don’t get any enjoyment out of it – got very close to 100kg in bench press. Sounds like an achievement, but feels like: ‘Meh, seems now I can do this’. I really like the idea of hiking (considering, the long marches are a huge part of reenactment), but doing it alone is always a bit confusing… Ok, looks like I really have some problems about time with just myself. Also, I used to visit local airsoft events on the weekends, but they gave way to big reenactments. Probably, I should go there this Sunday.

Traditionally, we have event once (less often, twice) a month. I also produce some replicas of gear and uniform by myself (insignia, bread bags, gaiters, gasmasks, etc). Ancestral work sounds especially interesting; despite I don’t see the solution in it.

 

[ahathoor]

Hey. I'm a software engineer (among many other things), so I totally get where you probably are, and hope I can give you some advice.

Burnout is kinda part and parcel with modern life. In my experience it comes from a disalignment of purpose or goals, not exhaustion. Exhaustion can be slept off, feeling unappreciated and/or worthless in one's professional life while it also exhausts one, cannot.

Why did you become a software engineer? If it was because that's where the money is... eeh, you probably fucked yourself over a bit, try to find out what you actually want to do, and plot a path toward that.

If it was because programming is in some way beautiful, fun or sacred to you (it can be all of those things!), then find ways to rediscover that. Join a local hackerspace, listen to game programmers on yt talking about cpu cache optimization, mathematicians talking about theoretical computer science (TCS), take a course on Haskell, build an artificial life aquarium in common lisp, learn to use emacs as a daily workhorse ("your father's emacs... a more elegant editor, for a more civilized age"), whatever captures the field's beauty without once even thinking about "how marketable is this"...

And yes, either way, try to open up your world. Go to events, join an outdoor group, go backpacking with a friend, find a group to go to burning man with (again, hackerspaces!)...

As for "the practices".. what occult stuff are you interested in? You don't want to repeat the same mistake and get caught up in the end goal. Follow what exoites you to find what you want to learn...

Post automatically merged: 13 minutes ago

also, if your workplace gives you a subscription for word shoggoths (aka llms), just use them shamelessly. "if life gives you shoggoths" and all that; it will also give you experience necessary for a leading technical role.