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I am still in the process of familiarizing myself with the forum, so I hope it is appropriate to file this under "General".
My experience is that occult knowledge and “occulture” in general are like a vast undulating maze filled with life altering potential but also a lot of absurdity. This attempt at a first post is my word-sacrifice of new membership.
For a long time I have fixated on narrowing my path and interest into certain areas of study, not paying much attention to the growth of ideas around me – ideas which many people I run into take for granted that everybody knows. Metaphysical things that concern celebrities, hair salons and anything to do with fashion, for instance. One such idea was the concept of the “Twin Flames”, which I understand basically to mean one soul split into two human bodies somehow destined to meet in this life and engage in a perfect romance, perhaps thence to unity (or psychosis).
If I had been asked a couple of years ago about this idea, I might have chewed on it, compared it to “soul mates”, and then spit out smirking question: “Why just twin flames? Why not triplet, quadruplet or even octuplet flames? Is there maybe a cult of a hundred or more people who believe they are literally all one soul? What’s on the juice menu?”
Yes, it would have been a laughing matter for me until the moment I met my “psychic twin”. Though I would love to tell the entire tale, I must observe a rule of brevity for the sake of the reader’s eyesight and my own limited time. So, in a regrettably vague summary, I shall share the horror.
First, to characterize my “Twin” , imagine Joan of Arc with purple hair and waving a pink Oriflamme crying cheerfully: “Repent, ye Sleepers! 11:11 is nigh!”
Really, she is a decent person, a good soul with a troubled past, though she leans somewhat on “toxic optimism” and has zero mercy for men.
The case began around the time of the Great Lockdown and the Triple Conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars (you know, like what that French guy said caused the Black Death) and the arrival of that strange comet dubbed “Neowise”. It initiated via long distance email from a woman with a business proposition that wouldn’t work, though followed by another proposition to do some artwork for her. Her communications grew flirtatious and increasingly personal. Due to lifestyles, distance and world conditions, I knew that it would not work out; but over all I came to appreciate her wit and humor.
Then things got strange. I found my subconscious became obsessed with her in subtle ways, at first, but growing stronger. I felt her “presence” as if it were broadcasting into my mind, along with invasions of a flotsam and jetsam of images and sensations of her putting pressure on me. Often I wondered if I was under psychic attack – but what kind of attack assaults you with visions of clouds of heart emojis and the intense taste of pizza? Over time, I had to deal with a random kaleidoscope of HER in my head, often times out of the blue. This was not love, nor a crush, but an actual force emanating from her. It was as if she was showing off, trying to attract me, though the surface personality of this woman could be as ruthless as sweet. It’s not the first time I have had such sensations from people, but the magnitude would grow to overwhelming. I actually tried to complain of it to her, but she dismissed, though I know I was in her head too, though not in the same fashion. Or it was all just paranoia, a mutation of “folie a due”.
Nah, it wasn’t that.
The macrocosm conspired with this phenomenon, it seemed. I ran astrological charts to compare our nativities and found we were practically opposite in many ways, with some touches of similarity - the position of Lilith being very suspect. In due course my sphere of awareness grew increasingly assaulted by “signs and wonders”, all pointing to her. Numbers, colors, omens of disruptive ominousness such as precisely timed power outages and animals (alive and dead) seemingly bearing vital messages via suggestion. At the same time, contrary signs appeared as if to warn me that, again, this would not work out: such as a complete stranger out of nowhere telling me about his homicidal cheating wife. Tarot and other forms of divination gave me a grim picture of something I would have to just ride out to the bittersweet end. I even turned to Goetia work for answers, though I suspect that it was more attracted to me by the situation – or it just gave me something to do with my paranoia. Pulled in two directions, I became a victim of a strange duality while at the same time enduring the stresses of work and family problems. It was a mess.
The idea that we were “twin flames” started with her, and she seemed to push it at me, though she also seemed to suffer from the same cognitive dissonance. She’s all light and fluffy and I am dark and gloomy, a true polarity if there ever was one. Our communication had its ups and downs, which is normal in attraction, but the “signs and wonders” never ceased even when she refused to talk to me. I researched, read blogs and forums on the issue of “Twin Flames” and found a lot of complaints about it from across the internet.
There was evidence that higher forces were at work, but their plan was not of human comprehension – this was perhaps a form of Initiation for both of us. Perhaps the Gods wished to establish a minute polarity on this Earth for a specific end – I cannot say. However, this relationship with my “twin” ended somewhat anticlimactically, dwindling into blithering idiocy.
That was over a year and a half ago, but the residue remains, though seems to be fading out. Yet I know she is out there, lurking, perhaps spreading joy and love from her crystalline rayed happy old self, completely in denial that she ever met me.
The ironic thing is that I have had conversations with people who went through something similar, though not identical, but I didn’t take it seriously. Now I know this “Twin” thing is a phenomenon, and eat my crow.
Does any of this sound familiar?
My experience is that occult knowledge and “occulture” in general are like a vast undulating maze filled with life altering potential but also a lot of absurdity. This attempt at a first post is my word-sacrifice of new membership.
For a long time I have fixated on narrowing my path and interest into certain areas of study, not paying much attention to the growth of ideas around me – ideas which many people I run into take for granted that everybody knows. Metaphysical things that concern celebrities, hair salons and anything to do with fashion, for instance. One such idea was the concept of the “Twin Flames”, which I understand basically to mean one soul split into two human bodies somehow destined to meet in this life and engage in a perfect romance, perhaps thence to unity (or psychosis).
If I had been asked a couple of years ago about this idea, I might have chewed on it, compared it to “soul mates”, and then spit out smirking question: “Why just twin flames? Why not triplet, quadruplet or even octuplet flames? Is there maybe a cult of a hundred or more people who believe they are literally all one soul? What’s on the juice menu?”
Yes, it would have been a laughing matter for me until the moment I met my “psychic twin”. Though I would love to tell the entire tale, I must observe a rule of brevity for the sake of the reader’s eyesight and my own limited time. So, in a regrettably vague summary, I shall share the horror.
First, to characterize my “Twin” , imagine Joan of Arc with purple hair and waving a pink Oriflamme crying cheerfully: “Repent, ye Sleepers! 11:11 is nigh!”
Really, she is a decent person, a good soul with a troubled past, though she leans somewhat on “toxic optimism” and has zero mercy for men.
The case began around the time of the Great Lockdown and the Triple Conjunction of Saturn, Jupiter and Mars (you know, like what that French guy said caused the Black Death) and the arrival of that strange comet dubbed “Neowise”. It initiated via long distance email from a woman with a business proposition that wouldn’t work, though followed by another proposition to do some artwork for her. Her communications grew flirtatious and increasingly personal. Due to lifestyles, distance and world conditions, I knew that it would not work out; but over all I came to appreciate her wit and humor.
Then things got strange. I found my subconscious became obsessed with her in subtle ways, at first, but growing stronger. I felt her “presence” as if it were broadcasting into my mind, along with invasions of a flotsam and jetsam of images and sensations of her putting pressure on me. Often I wondered if I was under psychic attack – but what kind of attack assaults you with visions of clouds of heart emojis and the intense taste of pizza? Over time, I had to deal with a random kaleidoscope of HER in my head, often times out of the blue. This was not love, nor a crush, but an actual force emanating from her. It was as if she was showing off, trying to attract me, though the surface personality of this woman could be as ruthless as sweet. It’s not the first time I have had such sensations from people, but the magnitude would grow to overwhelming. I actually tried to complain of it to her, but she dismissed, though I know I was in her head too, though not in the same fashion. Or it was all just paranoia, a mutation of “folie a due”.
Nah, it wasn’t that.
The macrocosm conspired with this phenomenon, it seemed. I ran astrological charts to compare our nativities and found we were practically opposite in many ways, with some touches of similarity - the position of Lilith being very suspect. In due course my sphere of awareness grew increasingly assaulted by “signs and wonders”, all pointing to her. Numbers, colors, omens of disruptive ominousness such as precisely timed power outages and animals (alive and dead) seemingly bearing vital messages via suggestion. At the same time, contrary signs appeared as if to warn me that, again, this would not work out: such as a complete stranger out of nowhere telling me about his homicidal cheating wife. Tarot and other forms of divination gave me a grim picture of something I would have to just ride out to the bittersweet end. I even turned to Goetia work for answers, though I suspect that it was more attracted to me by the situation – or it just gave me something to do with my paranoia. Pulled in two directions, I became a victim of a strange duality while at the same time enduring the stresses of work and family problems. It was a mess.
The idea that we were “twin flames” started with her, and she seemed to push it at me, though she also seemed to suffer from the same cognitive dissonance. She’s all light and fluffy and I am dark and gloomy, a true polarity if there ever was one. Our communication had its ups and downs, which is normal in attraction, but the “signs and wonders” never ceased even when she refused to talk to me. I researched, read blogs and forums on the issue of “Twin Flames” and found a lot of complaints about it from across the internet.
There was evidence that higher forces were at work, but their plan was not of human comprehension – this was perhaps a form of Initiation for both of us. Perhaps the Gods wished to establish a minute polarity on this Earth for a specific end – I cannot say. However, this relationship with my “twin” ended somewhat anticlimactically, dwindling into blithering idiocy.
That was over a year and a half ago, but the residue remains, though seems to be fading out. Yet I know she is out there, lurking, perhaps spreading joy and love from her crystalline rayed happy old self, completely in denial that she ever met me.
The ironic thing is that I have had conversations with people who went through something similar, though not identical, but I didn’t take it seriously. Now I know this “Twin” thing is a phenomenon, and eat my crow.
Does any of this sound familiar?
