I am at bit of a loss as to what to call myself, or brand myself as. I feel definitions are contingent in my state where I dismiss my own self aggrandizement (in my head mind you) and proceed with analysis. So, "wizard", generically... whatever kind is of rotational perspective.
- study focused
- practice focused
I've actually found both of these often tend to be the same with me. When studying, I find myself experiencing states of exaltation and then weird shit happens - and this can be to be to my advantage. I guess I could call that "practical" in a certain sense, but I do try to frame deliberate practice as the application of study.
And most importantly, what do you like about it, why do you consider it more relevant to you than other types.
It's all utterly compulsive. "I" as "me" - that is, "someone" with a "social identity" and meaningful destiny or actualization am little more than a puppet of forces rooted in what John Locke might frame as "I know not what."
Spencer's "Unkowable" is fine but I prefer the term AIN.
Tell us also about your ambitions and your end goals if you have any.
Here goes the list
- Necromancy
- Chaos magick
- Elemental magick
- Green magick (herbalism)
- Divination
- Witchcraft
- Folk magick
- High magick
- Blood magic
- Shadow magick
- Sex magick
- Enchantment magick
I do or have done or just dabble in all this - except "Green magick" as it sounds to political due to my locality. I suppose the term could be interpreted variedly. Goals, I must say, are in the productions which I demonstrate and then pass on.
But what strikes me now is a recent realization that started with an astrological analysis of Gemini. Basically I discovered that due to House position in my chart and the location of certain points that he is a cockroach. So I decided to signify him as such and named him "Kafka", and this is a guide to further analysis of function.
By odd connection, along the way, I came across a modern criticism of Descartes that characterized his
"Cogito ergo sum" statement as representing a condition of "Solipsism of the Present Moment". Never mind that Renee's original statement was probably a ploy, an attempt to set the stage for a system of rational linear deductive inference in answer to late Renaissance skepticism (or so Professor Arthur Holmes said on YT) so he could justify his real desire, which was to do science (per Will Durant). Also, never mind that it originally was
"Dubito ergo sum" in a sort of play on St. Augustine, possibly to forge a link in the clerical censor's mind that might mitigate a potential
auto da fe (totally my idea here). He was indexed anyway.
Renee aside, I extract the criticism and apply to Gemini. This interest in the Solipsism of the Present moment might be an archontic ploy by my Gemini nature to distract me from its fixation on "the other". I mean, you can't be your own twin, can you? - though some say yes, as in, "you are your own twin flame". Fuck that nonsense. I am talking about cockroaches as solispsitic.
I mean, look at them - they mass but do not hive. I grew up in a house with cockroach infestation, and while I do not consider myself any kind of expert, I can say they are all perfectly individuated and selfish.
So this led me to be more clear on Kafka and I looked into his story of hardworking Gregor waking up one day to find himself a bug. What species of bug is not determined, but Grant talks about "insectival" consciousness and I got to thinking. Then I realized with Geminian vision that I could shape my percepts to determine if I, as Gemini, am a cockroach, then I may in fact be surrounded by other cockroaches.
This leads me to consider whether there exists, or if I must invent, "Kafkamancy". That is to say, a system of magical approach that extracts principles of bug existence that may lead to some kind of instrumentality. Really, at this point I am in a research-contemplation phase, but as indicated above, study and practice can sometimes be the same thing with me. A lot of processes may be unconscious, deeply rooted in the "I know not what".
I have seen the movie
Naked Lunch, btw. I also tried to read the book but it was insensible to me at the time.
All versions of might be useful.