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Your previous failures during your tenure as a magician, and the way forward?

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As the title suggests, I am, and many of us get caught in ruts, get misled by parasites, etc. Some of us knock over candles during ritual, dont memorize the ritual so attention is divided, etc.

What have been your failures during your time as a Magician, and in those cases, how did you resolve them and be able to move forward?
 

Yazata

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In New Avatar Power is where I first read of this idea of breaking your goal up into small steps. Not saying Cobb came up with it or that it is a revolutionary concept for most, but if you really want to achieve a certain magickal goal this definitely is the way.
The smaller the steps, the better. Get motivated by every small success that brings you closer to your goal, and shrug about small failures as they are just small failures. Don't let them keep you up at night.
 

KjEno186

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There are mistakes, and then there are failures.

Mistakes happen. Maybe I mix up the names on a ritual, like LBRP. OK, I'll do better next time. Or I find my mind wanders 20 times, give or take, in a 10 minute meditation. That's what frequent practice is for, to get better over time, and even so some days are bound to be more prone to making mistakes than others.

Then there are failures: Doing the same bad habits over and over again, but expecting different results; the psychology of prior investment that keeps one attached to bad ideas or actions simply because change feels overwhelming; and the lack of imagination that keeps us from seeing beyond the way we do things at present, because it's easier to follow the trodden path. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13, 14
 
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I can state several.
2013-2014, Invite to a Toronto Golden Dawn Temple for Neophyte Initiation. Got into a car accident the first time, had to wait two hours for RCMP to show up, an additional hour while they and the other party chatted for a few. Completely missed it. Second time took a wrong turn in a perpendicular direction. Needless to say by the time I noticed, it was far too late.
Went solitary. Didn't connect with Maat prior to initiation. Knocked over a candlestick during a circumambulation and had to shut down the ritual to put out a fire. Safety first, then teamwork.

2015: Went to the dark side while trying to remain gray. Evoking the qlippoth and goetia without any safety precautions. No way to communicate nor goal in mind. Got dragged halfway down my bed after evoking Lucifer and laying down. Dont know why I thought that would be a great idea. GD teacher rebuked me and we had to part ways.

2016: Reformed my ways, joined the LDS church. Joined the OSS. Didn't put in any work.

Needless to say, it bounced like a rollercoaster again, leading to a deliverance then a return back to the dark side. Belial and I are not on good terms. Nor Lilith.

2022: Got involved with a questionable teacher who knew his stuff, but kept undermining me, and I started to get a bad rep on BALG. We evoked Bime then Ipos. Nearly got pacted to Ipos but declined. A shiftiest ensued. In no way was he helping me, but a 180n from the direction and entities I needed help from, or so I thought. Luckily. Backed off from demons, renounced them all, confessed to God what occurred. Started trying to evoke angels and archangels and nada has occurred.

So Id say several.
 
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If I were to write a primer on Magick, the very first step I would ensure is that through exercises and rituals and a possible inner contact developed, in order to safely awaken and strengthen clairvoyance, clairsentience, and clairaudience. Very first step, nothing else yet.
This would solve 50% of the problem trying to connect with inner contacts in my opinion.
Parasite detection and removal might also have to go in that first chapter.
 

Mider2009

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I can state several.
2013-2014, Invite to a Toronto Golden Dawn Temple for Neophyte Initiation. Got into a car accident the first time, had to wait two hours for RCMP to show up, an additional hour while they and the other party chatted for a few. Completely missed it. Second time took a wrong turn in a perpendicular direction. Needless to say by the time I noticed, it was far too late.
Went solitary. Didn't connect with Maat prior to initiation. Knocked over a candlestick during a circumambulation and had to shut down the ritual to put out a fire. Safety first, then teamwork.

2015: Went to the dark side while trying to remain gray. Evoking the qlippoth and goetia without any safety precautions. No way to communicate nor goal in mind. Got dragged halfway down my bed after evoking Lucifer and laying down. Dont know why I thought that would be a great idea. GD teacher rebuked me and we had to part ways.

2016: Reformed my ways, joined the LDS church. Joined the OSS. Didn't put in any work.

Needless to say, it bounced like a rollercoaster again, leading to a deliverance then a return back to the dark side. Belial and I are not on good terms. Nor Lilith.

2022: Got involved with a questionable teacher who knew his stuff, but kept undermining me, and I started to get a bad rep on BALG. We evoked Bime then Ipos. Nearly got pacted to Ipos but declined. A shiftiest ensued. In no way was he helping me, but a 180n from the direction and entities I needed help from, or so I thought. Luckily. Backed off from demons, renounced them all, confessed to God what occurred. Started trying to evoke angels and archangels and nada has occurred.

So Id say several.
Not to be an ass...but you seem to have a bad habit of annoying spirits
 
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