But then again, some people are power hungry and itchy on the curse finger. So, perhaps defense is what I should have learned first.
It occurred to me tonight, have I been putting my work in, in every regard?
If I want the angels to help me create a better style of living to a point where I can find peace, serenity, and pain free living, its likely they will say no, or likely God himself will say no. God is not hip with the world or its mode of living, so not surprising.
People may stand here at attention with a question as to why I am doing this. I simply dont feel I have any choice, no matter which path, nor do I find friends - mostly because of my shitty attitude - however my friends know better than to rattle my cage. The answer is he is a parent figure, that is the whole friggin point, and then some sleazy relatives want you to follow them instead? If this were real life, would you stop and see that its not exactly good for us?
Anyway, enough of my prejudice from a bad taste in the mouth with some.
Point is, no matter what I do, no matter what path I take, the work has to be put in, its not going to work itself to completion without any push from us. So, there is obviously an issue with me in my home town based on how young punks treat me, and women all over my case over something Im unaware of. So maybe location change is best for me. Perhaps out there Id get my head on straight, get necessary help and get shit done.
Grow natural confidence back rather than some tough guy facade as a temporary power from entities. No. Real confidence cannot be brought to you by any entity, it has to come from within to be genuine and solid. Suppose the entity that gave you confidence has an argument with you and revokes the power, guess what occurs.
Its a simple matter to some, but I have such a tangled web of details that are fudged, that it is hard for me to appreciate life - obviously the easy out and escape from the untangling of life details is committed by ending your own life. Or, plant your feet and take care of one detail at a time. What a colossal pain in the ass.
Which leads me to spiritual pains in the ass. What exactly is their problem? I suppose it doesn't really matter since I intend to never associate myself with them again as a personal choice. Someone after all told me there is no gray magic nor MHP, so Ive made my choice. Temporal and eternal.