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Journal Journal of Night and Day, Son and Moon

A record of a users' progress or achievements in their particular practice.
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Need to address my pride and lack of magick. A lot of the words Ive used against others seem to be at least slight projection, insecurity, fear, intimidation, paranoia, and envy are at the root of a lot of my words.
Black-White mirror breakthrough, or something I should've noticed long ago ... Ill take it either way.

Okay, so back on this hamburger train to record rituals in my notebook, do what I need to do including adorations, LBRP and MP.
But then again, some people are power hungry and itchy on the curse finger. So, perhaps defense is what I should have learned first.
 
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But then again, some people are power hungry and itchy on the curse finger. So, perhaps defense is what I should have learned first.
It occurred to me tonight, have I been putting my work in, in every regard?
If I want the angels to help me create a better style of living to a point where I can find peace, serenity, and pain free living, its likely they will say no, or likely God himself will say no. God is not hip with the world or its mode of living, so not surprising.
People may stand here at attention with a question as to why I am doing this. I simply dont feel I have any choice, no matter which path, nor do I find friends - mostly because of my shitty attitude - however my friends know better than to rattle my cage. The answer is he is a parent figure, that is the whole friggin point, and then some sleazy relatives want you to follow them instead? If this were real life, would you stop and see that its not exactly good for us?
Anyway, enough of my prejudice from a bad taste in the mouth with some.
Point is, no matter what I do, no matter what path I take, the work has to be put in, its not going to work itself to completion without any push from us. So, there is obviously an issue with me in my home town based on how young punks treat me, and women all over my case over something Im unaware of. So maybe location change is best for me. Perhaps out there Id get my head on straight, get necessary help and get shit done.
Grow natural confidence back rather than some tough guy facade as a temporary power from entities. No. Real confidence cannot be brought to you by any entity, it has to come from within to be genuine and solid. Suppose the entity that gave you confidence has an argument with you and revokes the power, guess what occurs.
Its a simple matter to some, but I have such a tangled web of details that are fudged, that it is hard for me to appreciate life - obviously the easy out and escape from the untangling of life details is committed by ending your own life. Or, plant your feet and take care of one detail at a time. What a colossal pain in the ass.
Which leads me to spiritual pains in the ass. What exactly is their problem? I suppose it doesn't really matter since I intend to never associate myself with them again as a personal choice. Someone after all told me there is no gray magic nor MHP, so Ive made my choice. Temporal and eternal.
 
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Fudge. I hate triaging my life all the time. Some stability for the rest of my life would potentially be helpful.
So prioritize. Life isn't going anywhere, and I still have income, though not to my liking I the amount. A less physical job is necessary as well.

The entire town has something against me, it seems to me. So yeah, deal with this, ignore it or move to a different state again.
Nothing like being collectively pushed out of your home town. Perhaps I should just do the Secured Party Creditor thing if Im going to be a man without a country.

A trio of gentlemen loosely .. very loosely speaking .. entered into the restaurant today. They were civil and all, but kept staring at me while I was eating on my break and talking about the variety of ways once can be made completely poor and without any value at all. Real nice folks.

This is why I hate this world, this greed, competition, jealousy, violence, etc. This is not the United States of America in my opinion. Its become evil. We all know its a fallen world anyway.
 
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Scary stuff. Haven't had grand Mal seizure aura symptoms for over six years. Woke up with severe leg cramps, and had sunspots going a bit. Made a mistake to go down for a smoke. And after finishing started getting the anxiety and fumbles that goes with it. Ran upstairs to avoid giving my brain the chance.
 
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Tobacco use is a trigger. Insomnia is a trigger. Head bumps are a trigger. Stress is a trigger.
So, took medications. Only new thing is second day no marijuana. Which tends to help with me acting as an anti epileptic.
 
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So ... Need refills but pot is just as reliable to curbing off seizures, charlie horses etc.
 
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The grand question is do I call off and go see a doctor or not. If I do, I miss out on 150 for the day which has to go towards this months rent (800 total ATM).
 
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Okie dokie. Lets clean up this negative Nancy mind. Lets start with some tarot:
"Is Douglas James Cameron cursed?"
Significator - 0 The Fool
Covers - Nine of Pentacles
Crosses - Six of Wands
Crowns - Ace of Pentacles
Beneath - XII Hanged Man
Behind - Two of Pentacles
Before - XVI Tower
Querent - Ace of Swords
Environment - Eight of Cups
Hopes and Fears - XI Justice
Final Outcome - Nine of Swords

Top of Deck - I Magician
Bottom of Deck - Two of Cups
 
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0 The Fool - The Spirit of Aether. Scintillating Intelligence. Yellow, E Natural. Elemental Air. Kether-Chokmah. Not assigned any fixed position, due to being part of the Seven Lords (Planets) and Three Spirits (Elements).
Nine of Pentacles - Lord of Material Gain. Falls under Knight of Pentacles and The Magician. Venus 10-20 deg Virgo. Hind feet of Centaurus, part of Piscis Volans. Yesod of Heh.
Six of Wands - Lord of Victory. Falls under King of Wands and XIX The Sun. Jupiter 10-20 deg Leo. Part of Argo, part of Pisds Volans.
Ace of Pentacles - Root of the Powers of Earth. Spirit of Earth, Kether of Assiah. Body of Draco. Legs of Cepheus. Tail of Ursa Minor, and the Pole Star. Legs of Cassiopeia. Head and neck of Camelopardus. Kether of Heh.
XII Hanged Man - Elemental Water. Geburah-Hod. Mem, water, 40. Not assigned any fixed position, due to being part of the Seven Lords (Planets) and Three Spirits (Elements).
Two Pentacles - Lord of Harmonious Change. Falls under Queen of Pentacles and The World. Venus 0-10 deg Capricorn. Chokmah of Heh.
XVI Tower - Mars. Hod-Nextach. Peh, mouth, 80. Not assigned any fixed position, due to being part of the Seven Lords (Planets) and Three Spirits (Elements).
Ace of Swords - Root of the Powers of Air. Body of Draco. Right arm of Cepheus, head and body of Lacerta. Body of Cygnus. Kether of Vav.
Eight of Cups - Falls under Knight of Pentacles and The Magician. Saturn 0-10 deg Pisces. Part Phoenix, Eridanus, Reticulum.
XI Justice - Libra. Geburah-Tiphareth. Lamed, Ox-Goad, whip, 30.
XVI Tower Mars. Hod-Netzach. Peh, mouth, 80. Not assigned any fixed position, due to being part of the Seven Lords (Planets) and Three Spirits (Elements).
Nine of Swords - Lord of . Falls under Knight of Swords and The Magician. Venus 10-20 deg Gemini. Hind feet of Centaurus, part of Piscis Volans. Yesod of Vav.

Not entirely complete here. Reason being this is more academic onfi than anything, though the curse if any may be visible through details.
I would say this is not necessarily a curse or crossing, but lack of initiative and motivation.
 
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Maybe shift focus.

Back to elemental work.

Do the work:
Make sure I am doing all work of the Neophyte and Zelator outlines in Christophers book, particularly formula and checklist completion for minimum 60 days before thinking of advancing. Pragmatically, they outline more than 3 months of daily work minimum on both first grades before Theoricus.
For example, I should be heavy in geomancy practice now, should know things of earth other than planets and zodiac signs. I should be in my daily living conquering life, which should mirror spiritually. Moving toward Kether always.
Find tape, tape Earth Watchtower on North wall, center as possible. Above the Watchtower should be a North Earth banner, and at all other quarters, that quarter elemental banner should be taped to center of the quarter wall.
Perform Neophyte rituals in order.
Perform Zelator rituals in order.
Perform any other ritual work here, preferably Earth-based, such a wealth, physical fitness and health, earth knowledge (including languages), etc.
Journal results if any, but at least record what was done and if no noticeable results, note that.

On dreams and completeness of ritual work:
Investigate reasons for not dreaming or recall of dreams. Even nightmares should be noted.
Integrate in order all ritual from Christopher, Kraig, Ciceros, Regardie, Savedow, etc that are based on these two grade areas of knowledge and work.
Branch out to ritual work from Qaballistic magic to hermetic magic, namely Initiation into Hermetics.
On being cursed or crossed:
Do uncrossing, unjinxing, unhexing.
Start spiritual and physical purification.
Do confessional, penitential, purification psalms prayers and invocations.

On direction:
Head to Kether. Climb the tree of Life, patchwork meetings with angels of spheres and tunnels/paths.
Do the work of each sphere, and start working heavily with contacted archangels and shem angels.
Do the work of the Divine names of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
 
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On re-reading Neophyte work, Christopher exhorts to do everything as prescribed, and to not drift away from th work at hand, to focus on the work at hand. Do side reading, but do not do exercises from those books, restrict ritual work to Christophers book (because this is the text Im working through).
 
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So ... then here is a choice, per his recommendation, to pursue the work a prescribed, and do not worry about other matters at this time magically speaking. Or, get stuck in between worlds by to finishing one grade before another, and doing whatever magic you may.
 
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So that is the plan then, follow Christophers book to the letter, then Kraigs, then Ciceros, then Bardon's, then capstone it all with Regards the Golden Dawn. Completing this system could take two decades.
Or choose an eclectic route after completing Christophers book.
 
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Went out for smoke and contemplated the Great Work vs quitting.
Came back in, and took off coat and shoes, moved altar to South wall.
Did Afternoon-Midnight Liber Resh Vel Helios adorations.
Did Evening Lord of the Universe adoration.
Turned full circle to facing east, commenced with Qaballistic Cross, venturing into Cube of Space.
Did Earth Banishing LRP, with sign of enterer and sign of silence at each quarter.
Tried full visualization of pentagrams joined with angels and cross of light.
Did closing Qballistic Cross, shrinking back down immediately. A bit of a rough landing.
Will do Middle Pillar shortly.

Do uncrossing ritual and seven day spiritual cleanse.
Set wards and shields.

Need to really critically look at time management for full ritual time intake.
 
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Thinking about the reading, and going back through the cards, labeling them per Christophers direction, with title, element/planet, decan, sign
 
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Saturday 4/23/2022 (4+5+6 = 15 = 6, Reciprocity, Beauty). Ruling Planet: Saturn. Color: Black/Indigo
Sleep: 3-4 hours
Dreams: None recalled
Moon/Transits:
Sun 3°19’ Tau
Moon 3°29’ Aqu
Mercury 22°24’ Tau
Venus 19°38’ Pis
Mars 6°20’ Pis
Jupiter 26°23’ Pis
Saturn 23°49’ Aqu
Uranus 14°06’ Tau
Neptune 24°20’ Pis
Pluto 28°35’ Cap
Node (M) 23°34’ Tau R
Node (T) 22°39’ Tau st
Lilith (M) 0°57’ Can
Chiron 13°35’ Ari
Weather:
 
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Saturday 4/23/2022 (4+5+6 = 15 = 6, Reciprocity, Beauty). Ruling Planet: Saturn. Color: Black/Indigo

Sleep: 3-4 hours

Dreams: None recalled

Moon/Transits:
Sun 3°19’ Tau
Moon 3°29’ Aqu
Mercury 22°24’ Tau
Venus 19°38’ Pis
Mars 6°20’ Pis
Jupiter 26°23’ Pis
Saturn 23°49’ Aqu
Uranus 14°06’ Tau
Neptune 24°20’ Pis
Pluto 28°35’ Cap
Node (M) 23°34’ Tau R
Node (T) 22°39’ Tau st
Lilith (M) 0°57’ Can
Chiron 13°35’ Ari

Weather:
Feels like 42 F
High / Low 81°/60°
Wind 6 mph
Humidity 84%
Dew Point 41°
Pressure 30.18 in
UV Index 0 of 10
Visibility 10 mi
Moon Phase Last Quarter

Mood: Medium

Diet: None, will grab something on the way.

Exercise: None

Mental Notes: Keep on the positive side. Note synchronicities or thoughts, but try to keep to a minimum from here on out to post too much outside a daily diary entry.

Physical Notes: Get on physical regimen and lose the spare tire. Consider the Action Hero Challenge, and try to see if 10 pounds can be dropped in the first month again. Once fit, keep fit. Running is out at the moment since Im too poor cash wise to buy shoes. Once rent is under control, certain things like a pair of running shoe is acceptable.

Adorations:
Morning, Afternoon Liber Resh Vel Helios adorations
Morning Lord of the Universe adoration

Rituals:
BA-Fourfold Breath
QC/LBRP/QC
Middle Pillar
Neophyte Meditation
QC/LBRP/QC

QC/LBRP/QC
BA-Fourfold breath (foot to 1st chakra)
Ascent Into Cube of Space
QC/LBRP/QC
Lesser Ritual of the Hexagram
Invoking Four Powers of Earth
Middle Pillar
Body in Assiah
Zelator Meditation
QC/LBRP/QC

Qabalah: Read the following -
Fortune, The Mystical Qabalah
Achad, Mystical Qabalah
Crowley, Qabalah
Rawn, 231 Gates of Initiation
Westkott, Kaballah Unveiled
Frater FP, Magicians Kaballah

Tarot: Read up on Tarot history and interpretation
Card for the Day: Ace of Cups, labeled as "Root of the Powers of Water", symbols for Spirit of Water. H of HCOMA.
Tarot Contemplation Ritual: Hanged Man, The Spirit of the Mighty Waters, Mem, Water, 40.
Split Hexagram Spread:
Celtic Cross Spread:

Geomancy: Read up on thoroughly to start picking stones and working geomancy.

Archangel of the Day: Tzaphqiel (Tzaphqiel, Cassiel, Caffriel,
Considerations for Saturday:
Archangel Invocation:
Shem Angel of the Day:
Shem Angel Invocation:
 
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+ In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Under the authority of YHVH ELOHIM, who governeth the sphere of Binah and Saturn, I call upon TZAPHKIEL, Contemplation of God, Archangel of spiritual strife against evil, and keeper of the Akashic records. Form us unto completion through silence, steadiness, and perseverance as inheritors of the world imperfect. Shape us as reliable agents of the Lord’s grace and glory to assist Mankind in the Great Work of Reintegration.

Archangel Tzaphkiel, I humbly ask of your guidance and to bless my endeavor to connect with the positive energies of Saturn. Rid me of inertia and self-destruction. Inspire me with patience, discipline, responsibility, wisdom of experience, meditation, and the proper management of all structure, limitations, and boundaries.

I submit this request in the name of the sovereignty of the Most High God the Father +, the unending love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ +, and the illuminating essence of the glorious Spirit Most Holy +. Amen.
 
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