Hey, im not sure what im allowed to say about my story, but basically im possessed by a bunch of entities and they make life horrible.
Things that the spirit does to me:
i will admit that life could be worse, i have my body and it does function properly except for one of my legs, i have some money, food and shelter, but i hate that i cant work on myself.
i do believe that my past actions and decisions caused me to be put in this situation, but i do feel that its 95/5 (50/50). Life for most people including myself is rigged in certain moments that can really effect ones future and sometimes its not. But even when its not rigged its not really a fair chance.
can someone please help me get rid of my curse and have a new beginning in my life here or at least nudge me in the right direction?
Things that the spirit does to me:
- force me to masturbate and watch porn
- make me lose my peripheral vision and sight so im super close to hitting things or people around me (close to hitting my head or balls or back)
- shame, humiliate,condemn me for my existence and treat me like scum in thoughts and dreams
- enforce the idea that i shouldve been an abortion and that i will be going to hell for eternity (im assuming its true, but id still want to live a decent life)
- prevent me from growing and developing myself (personality, character traits, hobbies, learning, inner self and emotions)
- tense my body in places and produce pain for me to feel whenever they want
- bite my teeth repeatedly and create headaches or pains in my body including genitals, anus
- prevent me from establishing and growing good relationships with people and family. (i want a faithful relationship with a woman one day)
- force me to speak ill towards people and say words that i dont mean to say
- use my inner thoughts to speak things to people that i dont want to say or mean to say
- they control everything but sometimes i do have my 'free' will to make decisions.
- completely erase my memory and put memories that never happened and lose focus on what i was doing
- ill study javascript sometimes and they force my attention somewhere else or create random visions while im trying to learn or do something.
- i understand that my past makes me a shitty person, but i want the ability to change and not do certain things anymore
- i cant trust people anymore after being betrayed by certain groups
- i want to come in peace to everyone and treat people with respect and decency but they have nerfed me as a human and i feel super dumb (can act ignorantly and i dont want to do that if i end up being around people who are powerful)
- life sucks so much that i get blackout drunk by myself so i dont have to remember anything and so they leave me alone for that period of time that im awake.
i will admit that life could be worse, i have my body and it does function properly except for one of my legs, i have some money, food and shelter, but i hate that i cant work on myself.
i do believe that my past actions and decisions caused me to be put in this situation, but i do feel that its 95/5 (50/50). Life for most people including myself is rigged in certain moments that can really effect ones future and sometimes its not. But even when its not rigged its not really a fair chance.
can someone please help me get rid of my curse and have a new beginning in my life here or at least nudge me in the right direction?