My entire point was to rebuild my apovcalyptically nuked life, so I could free myself from oppression and be happy in life, care for my family, help others, all that good stuff.
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I can say that almost everything we do, from a definition of the word is some sort of a step within a ritual if not a ritual itself. Smoking a cigarette, brushing your teeth, cooking, eating, many of these are themselves a ritual.
Same with grooming and showering, laundry etc.
This way we dont let inertia grip us and not let us go. So we are presentable and somewhat normal.
I'm rather undecided about deities at this time, as you may have guessed. I'm dealing with decades of belonging to a quasi cult that affected my feelings towards the Bible and Abrahamic religions in general. (I know not all people like the term 'cult' being used exclusively for a negative connotation, but that's a dominant meaning in the current English language usage.) I'm also thinking a bit more clearly this morning than I was last night before bed.
That being said, what is repentance? I'd say it is the cessation of actions which cause suffering in oneself and others, and a promise to oneself to put into practice things which help yourself and others.
"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
thyself." - Mark 12:31
Do you love yourself? If not, how then can you love your neighbor? Is this not magic? Do not others perceive our self hatred even if only subconsciously in our aura? It will affect how they respond to any interest you show in their lives. To love yourself, you must find a way to forgive yourself. This cannot be easy if you perceive that others have not, and perhaps never will, forgive you. To forgive yourself and love yourself, that depends on what you do. Banish the thought forms that have caused you grief. Use rituals that bring you calm and balance. It may seem mundane to quietly meditate, but isn't it also mundane to brush one's teeth or do the laundry?
“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” - Luke 16:10
Once you have cleansed yourself and begin to develop good habits, how do you keep on guard against the return of problems?
"Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it.
44) "Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came'; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order.
45) "Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation." - Matthew 12:43-45
I'll use the example of smoking cigarettes. I was not a heavy smoker, but I did smoke for 10 years. I gave up the habit to save money and avoid serious health problems, but I still occasionally have the desire to smoke even though time has passed. I've heard stories from people who picked up the habit again due to stress. I take that as a warning for myself. It requires vigilance. I'm sure there's more I could say, but ... you know what to do.
I don't know what problems you've had, but I truly wish you success in whatever way you see fit to take control of your life. May you have peace.
