Building up, intensifying, strengthening desire, passion and will

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Side effects of being lost in the abyss include but are not limited to - being unbalanced, depression, anxiety, fear, existential crisis, losing your job, losing your house, injury etc. All that shit comes bubbling to the surface when you dabble. Stuff like the LBRP isn't going to fix it. You need to meditate on whatever it is and reflect on it. You need to understand why you are the way you are. Think about it like this - everyone is an instrument. What happens when you beat on an instrument? It becomes out of tune. So what you have to do is put yourself back in tune. Light workers call this the rewiring process. I call it getting to know yourself.

Anyways you have to find the reason behind your duress and overcome it by banishing it or accepting it as a part of you. This is a difficult process because the western mentality doesn't leave room for good teachers. What I recommend doing is brushing up on Buddhism. Buddhism will put that shit into perspective. And eventually all that deep seated bullshit won't have any hold over you. I know what I'm talking about. I've had it way worse than most people and it's like you can take my advice or leave it. I mean shit like parasites, mind control, curses and demons are a convenient excuse when you don't want to face your problems. And that's what I mean about being lost in the abyss.

So what's/are my problem(s) then?
I'm out of the occult and glad to be out of it.

 

[Roma]

As long as there are unresolved permissions you are still in the occult - but you are being practiced upon.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

You need to fix the octopus. Are you giving permission for it? For example LHP practices involve inviting many poorly understood entities. Are those invitations still in place?

As for antidepressants, a decade ago a local journalist, psychologically healthy, decided to take antidepressants for a radio program he was making. He said in 2 weeks he became suicidal. That provided some good material for his program

There is a lesson there somewhere

Well, there are old seals and petitions written in demonic script. Two petitions had been done. Why demonic? I was being pressed on by mostly LHP people to extreme lengths, even though RHP replies were there as well.
I give nothing permission, except the solar logos, to affect my life.

 

[Meeii]

So what's/are my problem(s) then?
I'm out of the occult and glad to be out of it.

Self-pity. Not saying that to be mean, but that's the truth.
Your problems do not control your life, and even if sometimes it feels like it, in the end of the day you are the one in control. The issue with you, is you don't even try to wiggle out of it. You aren't the only one with mental issues, or physical, or whatever, but we deal with it, and not blame everything that happens in our life on someone else.
And yes, medication can help, but not always, you have to deal with your shadows first.

Take a good step out of the occult, put all your books and candles aside, and just do basic meditations, and basic cleansing/banishing/protection stuff, and focus on your life. You've been trying to do anything and everything, at some point you need to change what you are doing, because obviously it doesn't work. But in the end of the day, it's your decisions.

I was being pressed on by mostly LHP people to extreme lengths, even though RHP replies were there as well.

Maybe because you were in a place with mostly LHP people, who by the way, wanted nothing but to help you, and reading some of your messages here on this forum, you have talked quite a bit of shit about them.
But again, your decisions. You do not have to listen to what we say, even my message right now, but at least don't disregard the intentions.

Best of luck, really.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Appreciated. And mostly on point.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Throwing all occult notes, items, etc in dumpster. Tore up old seals in pieces.
If you want to ask me anything. Go ahead. But I'm out of the occult forever.
I also have to put this on the floor .. I will likely be murdered or take my life as i have recently attracted a dangerous gang. It was nice knowing you all, even LHP people.

 

[Vandheer]

But I'm out of the occult forever.

See you in 30 mins champ

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

I'm out. I've now endangered my community and my entire family is petrified. I've accepted that I'm probably going to be murdered.

 

[Öwnchef]

Dude. Medications exist for a reason. I can't believe I actually have to explain brain biochemistry to someone. I have five disabilities. How is this related to the occult?

Neurology IS magic. Tbh it goes way beyond and extends to the realms of the craziness of the excrements of bats.

 

[Yazata]

I'm out of the occult

Don't take this the wrong way, but you seem to be in and out of everything for a couple of weeks, days, hours or minutes.
You get super excited for something but then immediately throw up hurdles for yourself by setting (not completely necessary) goals that take a lot of time / dedication to achieve before even starting with what got you excited.
Example: you got interested in the Shemhamephorash. But then you decide you first need to learn Hebrew. And / or plant and grow herbs for every Angel. Or get everybody's opinion on whether you should or shouldn't evoke 36 Angels at once.
This is a recent one.

Just take some time off from the forum and decide if you want to be an occultists or not. If you are out then there's really no need to be here. Not trying to be a dick.
However:

See you in 30 mins champ

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Well, I guess it will be a very long break here. After all, tonight and every night 8s a severe toll on me. I was (and every so often) actually contemplating.if i have enough meds to take myself out of life itself.

 

[Yazata]

Well, I guess it will be a very long break here. After all, tonight and every night 8s a severe toll on me. I was (and every so often) actually contemplating.if i have enough meds to take myself out of life itself.

That seems way too big of a break.

I don't know what your situation in reality is, j just occasionally read your posts and know that 8Lou1 has commented that her spirits are working on your happiness and Roma is your master.

Just take a chill. Get some sleep. Watch some movies. Jerk off. Whatever. Calm your mind and see how you feel in a cup of days.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I'm out. I've now endangered my community and my entire family is petrified. I've accepted that I'm probably going to be murdered.

Call the police. Btw, I'm done dude. I've given you some gems of knowledge and if they're not good enough then idk what to do for you.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

Whatever may happen, I will still work on being the best me, order and not chaos.

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

As long as there are unresolved permissions you are still in the occult - but you are being practiced upon.

Tore up old sigils, will dispose of them shortly. Most of my time I spend sitting 8n my room playing with my cat. Or learning to program in C and Python. I always wanted to study words comprised of two or more languages, such as glossalia.

 

[Roma]

playing with my cat.

Look into your cat's eyes. Does it look at you as a cat would look?

Sometimes cats can be used by other entities, positive or adverse

 

[Öwnchef]

Look into your cat's eyes. Does it look at you as a cat would look?

Sometimes cats can be used by other entities, positive or adverse

How would a cat typically look at you? I don't get this.

 

[Irish Bard]

I think this kind of ties in to whats already been said but I think guilt can be a major issue.

Everyone has some great passion burning inside them. They don't pursue it because they think its silly/self indulgent/not useful/weird/a waste of time/they're not good enough... the list goes on.

 

[Roma]

How would a cat typically look at you? I don't get this.

That was actually a suggestion to Diluculo about his cat

I used to have a stray cat that used to look at people in a quite un-catlike way. They commented about the way that cat looked at them.

On occasion the cat would look into my eyes for 30 seconds without looking away. Humans have trouble with that sort of eye contact

 

[Diluculo_DelFuego]

She has a variety of expressions, and yes. My sister, myself as kids would hold staring contests with our cats every once in a blue moon.
Her eyes are actually brighter than they used to be.